Seven days.

It has been seven days and Carson still hasn't come out of his room.

I didn't want to push him or anything, but I had just assumed that he would want to talk about whatever the hell had happened by now.

I couldn't force him.

Another bolt of lightning struck out across the sky, illuminating the world for a mere second. Then, the sky was back to the pitch black it had been for hours on end.

The cool breeze felt good from my balcony. It was going to rain any time now. I always enjoyed the calm before the storm. However, it wasn't as comforting as it usually is. The more I tried to not think about Carson, the more I thought about Carson. It was like he dug a hole in my brain and now he was stuck in there forever.

It was weird: I wanted to be angry at him. I wanted to yell at him for what he did to himself. And I wanted to kill him for being so stupid instead of asking any of us for help or to talk. In fact, I wanted to hate him. In fact, I did hate him.

But I couldn't hate him, not really. Not anymore at least.

Placing my head in my hands, I took a deep breath before heading back inside. I had a good feeling that the power would soon go out, so I pulled a bunch of candles out of my drawer and started placing them around my room, lighting each with a match along the way.

Just as I finished, thunder grumbled loudly from the distance, shaking everything in my room. The rain came next. It was poured down, hitting the ground with loud pitter-patters.

I closed the balcony doors, and turned the lights off. The room glowed in a warm, yellow tint from the wavering light of the candles.

It occurred to me that even though he would probably try to get rid of me again, I should check on Carson.

I opened the door to my room, shocked to find Carson standing there. His head was down and his eyes were closed, so he didn't see that the door was open and I was in front of him.

He finally looked up when he moved to knock. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

"Um, come in. Come sit down," I took hold of his hand and brought him over to my bed, sitting down in front of him.

It was now that I got a good look at his face. His black eye was starting to heal up; it was yellowish around the edges and not nearly as swollen. There was more color in his face and the cuts seemed to be healing nicely. Overall, he looked much better now that there wasn't any dried blood or oozing gashes.

"I um-" he started, but cut himself off. He shook his head.

"I-" he tried again.

I watched as his stony face came undone more and more. His eyebrows were dipped in towards his watery eyes, and his lips were pursed downward.

He just kept repeating it over and over, "I um, I um, I um."

Every time he said it, he began to shake more. He was holding his hands together in his lap, and I watched as they made small, erratic movements. His foot, that was hanging down the side of the bed was also moving– up and down in a furious manner. Before I could even process it, he was crying. He was sitting in front of me, crying, and I had no idea what to do.

"Carson," I said gently.

He looked up at me with these sad eyes that made my skin crawl. I opened up my arms for him; his head tilted to the side and his lip quivered before he accepted by gesture and pressed himself to me, his head buried in my chest, sobbing.

Something about seeing the strongest person you know cry is kind of terrifying. No one really prepares you for that.

I don't know how long we just sat there. It was quite a while though. His sobs had slowed down into hiccups. He never let go though; his tight hold on my waist was enough to leave marks. I just held him in my arms and listened to the storm.

At some point, he had finally pulled away. He just stared blankly at the bed for a few minutes, before trying to speak again.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be."

"I need to tell you something. And it's not easy."

"Okay," I said. "Whatever it is, I'm right here."

He took in a deep breath. "I have a sister."

I smiled, "Honey, I know that. And when you first moved in, my parents mentioned that she would be staying at her boarding school." I didn't see how that news was upsetting.

"She's sick, Madeline. She has cancer."

My smiled dropped. Over the next few seconds, I processed everything I knew about Katie, and realized it really all had to be, for the most part, a fabricated cover story. I met her a few times in the beginning of freshman year whenever we were all at Carson's. I haven't seen her since, and I always accredited that to the boarding school. But it was all a lie.

"How bad is it?"

He shrugged, "She was supposed to be getting better. I've been on the phone with her doctor almost every day trying to figure out what the hell is going on."

He stopped for a second, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths.

"She's um- she's not going to live much longer," He began shaking again. "I tried calling my parents, but they haven't answered. I don't think they're going to make it back in time."

"So this is what the whole alley thing was about?"

He nodded hesitantly, "That night. Katie's doctor called. He finally had an update. Three weeks. He gave her three lousy weeks."

Carson looked like he was going to cry again. He loved her. He really loved his sister. I never thought I'd see Carson emotional about someone, but here he was.

"Carson," I started. "You beat yourself up about something that is out of your control. And now, you've spent a whole week having to take care of yourself rather than your sister."

"I know," he said, hanging his head. "I fucked up. I'm a fuck up."

"No, you're not," I responded, taking his face in my hands. "You're just in shock. You're hurt and you're angry. But you should have talked to someone. Katie has two weeks. Don't let her die alone."

He wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I can't go there," he said. "The last time I was there, she was happy and walking. I thought she'd be able to come home soon. And now-" He cut himself off.

"Car, I know it's hard, but if you don't go, that's on you. You're choosing to waste your chance. You are choosing to not be with her for her remaining time."

He kept shaking his head vigorously, "I can't. It's too much. I can't"

"This can't be about you. It's about Katie. You may not get to control if she lives, or if she can walk or talk, but you can control how she dies. Don't allow her to die alone."

"I can't watch her die," he choked out.

"I'll go with you," I offered. "Just please. Go."

He nodded his head, reluctantly, "Okay."

Startling me, he grabbed me again and pulled me into a hug, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Thanks, Maddie. For listening and everything."

"Of course," I said running my hands through his hair. I could feel his body relaxing against me. "Have been sleeping okay?"

He made some sort of soft, grunt noise and shook his head in response. "Every time I close my eyes, I just, I see her. It was easier, not thinking about her, when... you were next to me.

I smiled, "Would you like to sleep in my room tonight?" He nodded, his nose rubbing against my neck with every movement.

I got up from the bed and went around the room, blowing out the candles. They had waned down quite significantly since I first lit them.

I climbed into bed again, laying down close to Carson. He rolled closer to me, reaching out and wrapping his arms around me and once again burying his face in my neck.

"And Carson?"

"Yeah?"

"You pull that shit again, beating yourself up in an alleyway, I swear to God I will kill you with my own bare hands. And just to make sure you've learned your lesson, I'll bring you back to life so I can kill you again. Got it?"

"Understood, Princess. Never again. I promise."