I couldn't sleep at all, even though I said I should. How could I sleep? And with so many thoughts swirling inside my mind. I have a feeling. It's not a good feeling, either. I rolled onto my side, staring off into the dark room.

It was one of those gut feels, you know? I can't decide if it's good or bad. I sigh heavily, throwing my blankets off my body. Maybe a warm bath will comfort me? No. I don't want a bath. Camille tea, perhaps? I slide from my mattress with heavy despair.

I groan, running my hands through my hair, biting my bottom lip as I shuffle around my furniture and into the kitchen.

I flip on the light, not even caring if the brightness stung my eyes. It's strange. I shake my head before the thought of it bounces to the front of my head. I go to the cabinet storing the pots and pans and my most favorite tea kettle.

"I'll put the tea on and have a small snack," I mumble taking the kettle from the cabinet.

~(alright, I'm sure everyone is wanting to see the conversation I never got to on the last chapter.) ~

The tension could be described as thick--and well tense.

Loke was out for blood. Natsu's blood, if we're being specific, but we all know that. He wanted nothing more to finish what he started. How could that selfish, selfish idiot do this? Lucy was his friend, and he raped her.

Makarov sat behind his desk, or more like atop of it. It's a preposterous accusation, he thought. There was no way Natsu would even harm one of his friends, especially Lucy. They were like best friends...unless something changed when Natsu got engaged to Lisanna. He pondered if Lucy felt like Natsu would not be any more her friend as he had a fiance who demanded his attention now.

On the other hand, Natsu just wasn't capable of this terrible act! He was as dense as matter, he couldn't tell when a woman was flirting or even attempting to make a move! Makarov didn't want to believe the boy he watched grow into a strong wizard be tainted with black.

"Believe me or not, but the pain I felt, the pain I saw in Lucy's eyes! It was real, " Loke clenched his jaw, "She doesn't lie! And she sure in hell wouldn't make up something like this!" Then Loke paced to the shelf on the wall, leaning against it and pushing away with his hands, "Makarov." Loke's voice crumbled as he barely twisted around, "I've never seen a woman so broken. So scared. So--" Loke stiffened, glancing off toward the floor.

"What is it?" Makarov noticed the man tense within the growing silence. The old man had a weird nagging bite in his stomach, so he tried to call again. "Loke."

"Something's wrong." The spirit only answered before looking up and turning around, giving his undivided attention to the old man, "I have to go to Lucy. Meet us."

Makarov grunted, wanting more explanations, but Loke shimmered away as quickly as a shadow kills the light. He just couldn't shake away the terrified look in Loke's eyes.

Meet us. He must mean Lucy's home. Very well. A visit awaits. He needed answers before giving punishment.

~ (ok, not the conversation you wanted, but it'll be more serious with Lucy in it)

"Just do it, Lucy!" I gurgled angrily at myself, my limbs were numb to my nerves.

The chef's knife shook, inches away from my abdomen. The tea kettle was screaming in the kitchen. The little metal lid rattled furiously as the water boiled inside. I wasn't concerned with a stupid kettle.

"Come on, girl! Just do it and everything will go back to normal!" I urged myself, but my wildly beating heart said otherwise, "Just the way it was!"

"I'm not fit for this! I don't need this! I...I...I hate this!!" I can't take it. This heavy burden on my shoulders and nesting within me.

I raise the knife up more. My trembling fingers were clammy and cold. Not nervous. Scared. No one would listen to me even if I were to beg! I hiccup loudly, my lips curling, I choke on my sobs and tears of despair. The liquid currently flowing from my burning eyes is hot. Maybe just as hot as the kettle water now. My cheeks stung as I shake my head, whimpering, wanting to clear my head from any distracting thoughts and kept telling myself it'd be over soon.

It will all be over... I'll be able to continue my old, boring life as a Fairy Tail mage while everyone else laughs at me for being a slutty nobody.

I shake my head again, yet this time more aggressively. No! I have to focus! I can't slip.

I bite my lip to keep any more cries from escaping past them. My teeth tear some of the insides of my lips. I could taste the metallic sensation of my blood.

Get it over with! I scream inside my head.

I squeeze my eyes tightly, gripping the knifes' handle, allowing the blade to be thrust at my body.