Alright, here goes nothing you thought knocking on the front door of the Heffley’s house, a bag with Chinese food in your left hand.

It’s been 5 days since Dave’s party, which means 5 days of Rodrick not speaking to you and avoiding you at all costs. Honestly, you didn’t blame him since you knew that you’d probably reacted the same way if someone would act the way you did that night. And even though you knew it was your fault you didn’t immediately just apologize the day after the incident in order to give him some space. Maybe it was wrong to do so, but it seemed right at that time. But as days of him not taking your calls and ignoring you at school went by, you grew more pissed than sorry. You knew that you fucked up, but he definitely went too harsh on you and didn’t even give you a chance to explain yourself. I mean come on, he didn’t even put up his damn curtains in order to not face you.

“Oh, hi Y/N, come in” Greg said opening the door after a few seconds passed letting you inside. “You’re probably here to see Rodrick, right?” he added before you had a chance to answer as you nodded your head in agreement.

“I think he’s in his room. Second door upstairs, you know” he added quickly before running back in the living room where Rowley was waiting at him, giving you a quick wink before turning back to their video game. Twisted Wizard, seems catchy.

Heading upstairs you wondered what you would say and by the time you reached his door you had a whole script created in your head. Now you better follow it or I’m fucked Rodrick you thought before taking a deep breath, knocking at his door. But to your surprise he didn’t answer it. And after the second unsuccessful attempt you just decided to step inside, not really caring about that whole invading one's privacy shit, scared that something might have happened.

And as you stepped inside you didn’t know whether you were relived or even more concerned than before, maybe it was a mix of both. Lying on his bare chest, his face hidden in his pillow, listening to some music so loud you could hear it through the headphones, he looked more like surviving than actually living. Empty bottles of water, ripped chips bags and plenty of dirty dishes surrounding his bed, the only piece of furniture in this once fully decorated room. His desk, wardrobe, plants, couch, TV – everything was just gone.

“Rodrick” you said quietly trying your best to cover your surprised face expression, tapping his back slightly, sitting down on the edge of his bed. But he didn’t turn around or move at all, instead he whispered “go away mom” tiredly, making a small smile appear on your face as you pulled down his headphones making him turn around annoyed, his eyes widening in shock as he noticed you.

“Y/N?! What are you doing here?” he asked loudly, quickly covering himself with the bed sheets as you rolled your eyes. “Calm down drama queen, it’s not like I haven’t seen you without a shirt on before” you said, throwing him one of the shirts lying on the pile of clothes scattered around his bed as he took it grimacing, not even trying to hide that he was still mad at you.

“Any specific purpose of your visit today?” he mumbled putting on his shirt. “Or just wanna get mad at me for no reason again?” he added ironically as you let out a quiet sigh rubbing your eyes tiredly.

“How’s your dad?” you asked after a moment of silence passed, making Rodrick let out a low huff. “He’s better, coming home in a week or some. But honestly if you came here to get information about my dad you might have just visited him at the hospital, wrong address here” he answered coldly, annoying you more and more with each comment. You looked away for a second, your jaw clenched as you felt yourself slowly losing your temper.

“What happened to your fur-?” you asked calmly attempting to start a normal conversation once again but quickly being cut off by Rodrick sighing annoyed rubbing his face in desperation. “Are you being fucking serious Y/N? After everything that happened you came here to talk to me about my damn furniture?” he asked, his voice raising, each word filled with anger and disbelieve. “It’s gone, alright? It’s all in the basement” he added piercing his cold eyes into yours, as if he wanted to look straight into your soul, as you kept staring right back, his seemingly intimidating tone not touching you the slightest bit.

“You know what?” you’ve answered quietly standing up from his bed, wanting as much space between the two of you as possible, feeling yourself finally losing your temper, the last bit of empathy and sorry leaving your body, clearing your mind making you finally realize that you didn’t do anything wrong. All you wanted was to go home alone since you were overwhelmed emotionally. “Originally I came here to apologize to you. See, I even got the same noodles you’ve got me when I was mad at you" you said throwing the bag with food on his bed, the anger washing off his face quickly being replaced by a spark of guilt in his eyes. “But hey, you made me realize that I was wrong actually. Alright? I really thought I’d have to apologize for wanting to go home alone because I was overwhelmed with helping you with your goddamn plan of getting together with Heather, which isn’t even any of my fucking business. Now come on be honest, did you really think I was so invested in annoying Heather to the extent that I would fake a relationship? Because if you do then you have to be really naïve. All I ever wanted was to help you so you could be happy. I put you over myself, which I obviously looking back now shouldn’t have done" you added speaking as calm and clear as possible since you didn’t plan on repeating yourself any time soon. “But you know what” you said letting out a quiet laugh, throwing your hands up in desperation, trying to hold yourself back from breaking down right here right now. “When you look at it all from this perspective, it's actually all my fault. The same thing happened to me several times before, you know Jaxon, right? Yet I did the same mistake again. I chose to make you happy, follow all the stupid rules and still it wasn’t good enough! What does it take to please you then?” you cried out, not being able to stop the tears flowing down your cheeks cooling your hot skin as you watched Rodrick approaching you wanting to give you a hug. “Fuck Rodrick, I don’t want you to comfort me, I want you to listen to me” you said raising your voice, trying to keep it from shaking as he sat back down without saying a single word listening to you silently. “You don’t own me Rodrick, okay? I don’t need your fucking approval when I want to wear a short skirt or a tank top without a bra on and I most definitely don’t need to ask you whether I can go home because dammit, that’s within my fucking rights. I don’t tell you what you can or can’t do either. I don’t even understand why you’re making this so complicated, we’re teenagers! All I want is to have a little fun” you said shaking your head slightly. “Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun as I had with you, but this was only when we were alone and not pretending we were a couple. See, do you want to know why I wanted to go home so badly? I don’t think so, because if you wanted to know you would have just given me at least a chance to explain myself. But you didn’t. Instead, you chose to ignore me” you said lowering your voice again, wiping away the tears off your face. “I wanted to leave because our kiss was special to me, okay? It made me feel things I haven’t felt before and then suddenly the fact that it wasn’t even real hit me and was just too much to handle in this moment” you whispered as you watched Rodrick’s eyes grow wide open, a smile appearing on his face for some reason. But before he had the chance to say anything you spoke up again. “It just felt too real, alright? And I had to remind myself that it wasn’t. I know that you want to be with Heather but I have to watch my own feelings as well” you said and with that finished your speech, leaving not only yourself but him speechless as well.

And after a long moment of silence passed and everything that just came out of your mouth settled in your brain you came to a conclusion. “We should break up” you said quietly, tears filling your eyes once again as you watched Rodrick biting his trembling lip looking down the floor so that his eyes couldn’t reveal any emotions. “It’ll be for the best, there won’t be a better moment anyway. Heather wants you really bad and I don’t think I can do this any longer. We’ll just say that we decided we’re better off as friends or something like that” you said, letting another moment of silence pass waiting for Rodrick’s possible reaction, but he didn’t say anything. In fact, he didn’t move at all.

You couldn’t tell what was going on inside of him right now. But what you did know was how you felt and that you needed to be alone.

So you left.