After two days of you trying to cope, letting your tears flow each time your parents weren't around, pretending to be okay when they were, eating loads of chocolate ice cream, and occasionally packing your stuff, you invited Jaxon over to your favourite spot by the lake, considering it was the best place to say goodbye to him for some reason.

As he came around 9pm you were already there waiting for him, your heart breaking at the sweet kiss filled with nothing but pure love he gave you and his sparkling eyes, geniuenly excited to see you. His smile slowly fading as he sat down and you started explaining that you were moving and how this would be the end of your relationship, a mixture of sadness and disbelief displaying on his face.

But after the shock passed he started talking about how you could figure things out and be long distance and that he loved you and wouldn't just give you up. And while watching him like this, a hundred percent invested in your relationship, you realized that you had to tell him the truth. You realized that someone who will love him as much as he loves you, is the only one who deserves to be with him in the first place.

So you interrupted him, making the terrible but only right decision of telling him how you really felt about him, explaining why a long distance relationship could work out, but why you simply didn't want it. You tried to explain how you wanted to love him so badly, but couldn't. You tried to explain how you loved him but yet broke his heart.

You hated yourself so much for not loving him back, you hated yourself so much for watching his heart shatter in a thousand pieces, his eyes swelling, filling with tears, while you didn't feel any pain. This was so unfair, you knew he didn't deserve to be in such pain, yet you let it happen.

You tried to explain why you did what you did, how much he meant to you, but couldn't bare hearing yourself talking anymore after a while. Knowing that your words wouldn't make a change, you decided to shut up, the only word coming out of your mouth being a quiet "sorry", while he watched you with his ocean blue eyes, revealing in how much pain he was. Hiding his face in his hands after some time, not saying anything for ten minutes at least. And you? You didn't say anything either. You didn't try to comfort him, knowing that this wouldn't help. You felt horrible and couldn't imagine how he must have felt. So you stayed quiet, until he eventually looked up at you, his eyes red, his cheeks wet from the tears flowing down.

"It's okay" he whisperd weakly. "Don't blame yourself. You can't just force yourself to love someone" he added, giving you a kiss on your forehead as you wiped away the tear flowing down his cheek, hoping it would be the last one caused by you. You then rested your head against his giving him a weak smile filled with love and pain which he returned. A moment that felt like a promise rather than a goodbye, probably being the most intimate one throughout your whole relationship. He then stood up and left, not turning around anymore.

And there you were sitting, as lonely as never before.