I don't really know where to start so here goes nothing.

So, I've always been bullied. When I was young, like in Kindergarten, all the kids left me out. They called me names but I don't vividly remember what they were. Progressively, throughout elementary school the name calling got worse. When I told the teacher, or anybody, they said that they were just playing around.

There was this one time when they pushed me down in this dirt part of the field and started just kicking me. Right there, in front of practically everyone. Even worse, kids who weren't kicking dirt in my face or kicking me, were laughing. You know how there should be some teachers walking around, yah, she always stayed by the playground and looked at the playground so she never saw anything. This was probably the first real physical altercation. This was 4th grade.

In 5th grade, the name calling, like I said, continued. I live in a place where it snows heavily during winter, so they through snowballs at me. They would just spit on me, too. They do that to this day, too. But, the way they would spit on me, like, I'm literally nothing. Like I'm a piece of trash to them.

In 6th grade, the people who bullied me sort of turned into a smaller group. Well, not smaller, but more exclusive. The popular kids began to be the ones who call me names to my face. That group of popular kids, which is full of f*ckboys and cheerleaders, are the ones who did everything to me face. It's the guys in the group that attack me physically and the girls just mostly call me names. But, in 6th grade, well, the summer leading up to 6th grade, I was definitely finding myself. Basically, without rambling, I caim to the conclusion that I'm gay. Ironically, the bullies started calling me "f*ggot," and "gay."

But in middle school, they found new ways to hurt me. Things like slamming my locker on the back of my head, or punching in my stomach, so there isn't physical evidence that is easy to see.

Now, in 7th grade, they've just gotten more harsh with everything. They've continued in name calling and beating me up. They started putting rocks in snowballs they throw. They've even put glass from a bottle in the snowballs.

"Ignore it," was some of the worse advice that I've ever been given. As if ignoring the problem makes it disappear.

I'm just happy that I haven't resorted to self harm on a regular basis. I do burn myself, but, rarely. It's definitely starting to get more frequent. But, I haven't thought of suicide as an answer and I won't.