3,200,000 students are bullied in a year. And I'm just one.

My story is not as nearly painful, terrible and challenging as previous ones on this book, but it is still my story, and I need to share it. It all starts with that very special boy I met in 3rd grade, Bully.

First I will tell you about me at that time. I am a boy. I was tall for my age. I had green eyes and brown hair. For my age, I was obese. I was, in my few friends opinion, the nicest person they had ever known. I had trouble fitting in with the male gender, so I turned to the easier and nicer female. That caused me to talk like a girl and like girly stuff. Not barbies or anything but romance books and movies. I was also the most naive person in the world. (Still am.)

Anyway, all the guys hated me. If they didn't hate me I hadn't talked to them yet. But the one person that truly hated me was Bully.

Bully was popular out of fear, a common bully phenomenon. He had a whole group of guys he would torture people with. And me, being such an oddball, was the perfect target.

It started with the same old same old I would get. "Your so fat," "You're an idiot," "Why were you even born?" I was used to it. It was just words, I would tell myself. But it got worse. Bully and his followers would attack my friends, and they weren't strong enough to stay by my side. I wasn't smart enough nor mean enough to fight back. So they left, leaving me with at the most two friends.

But he took it too far. In the hallway during bathroom break (we had those), he started bending my arm behind my back in a painful way. At the same time he was punching me in the back. I started screaming (like a girl) and he started laughing. The teacher took us to the principal's office.

While waiting in the waiting room, I was bawling. I had only been in the principal's office two other times (because of Bully) and it made me cry every time. Bully was just glaring at me. After a while the guidance counselor called us back, asked us what happened, I told her and she believed me. Alas, both of our parents were called to pick us up. Now THAT had never happened before.

My parents were furious with me. I got grounded for a week because they wouldn't listen to me and just thought it was my fault. Of course my mom wouldn't look at my bruised back.

The next day at school, Bully bullied me harder than ever. Except this time, he brought up my mom. My mother is the most beautiful person in the world but was pregnant with my smallest sister, Sister5. He called her fat and that was when I snapped.

(KEEP IN MIND I am ashamed of the events that follow through 3rd-5th grade.)

I had noticed that his mother was in jail and his father never paid attention to him. Bully was a bad kid and I was not his only victim. He got called home for physically hurting other kids, and his father hated it. Bully would always cry when being picked up. Right now, in the present, I understood why he bullied and pitied him deeply. At the time, I had turned evil and didn't care.

When he made fun of my mother I quickly turned evil. I became part of the bully cycle; I became a bully. After being bullied you turn into a better (technically meaner or worse) one. I smirked at him.

"Well at least my parents care about me. Your father probably doesn't even want you and your mother is in jail. Maybe she's there to get away from you. My parents love me."

After I said that he started crying and left me alone all day. To this day I hate myself for changing into that.

After that incident I kept fighting back at my bullies harder and worse. Soon, they stopped being mean to me, but I wasn't done. :(.

ANYONE that had bullied me before I tortured by getting information on their life and being awful. This lasted till the end of 5th grade. I was the worst bully ever. Bully and I kept fighting at each other and I would always get him in trouble on purpose. I actually hate seeing people in trouble.

After the end of 5th grade I realized how much of a jerk I was (Thank goodness). SO the whole summer I changed back into my good old self, being nice and naive. It was good. I was ready for 6th grade. (THIS IS KEY: These are the worst words I was called in elementary school - Idiot, stupid, dumb, fat, obese, and terrible. Nothing too extreme...At the time it was though.)

On the first day of 6th grade everyone I talked to ignored me. It hurt. I already knew no one liked me. At lunch that day, I sat alone. The worst part was there were barely ANY seats available. 8 tables with 8 chairs was 64 seats. Of course though, I had a table all to myself.

For two weeks I sat alone at lunch. Many times I would try to sit with people but they would say the seat was taken. I wouldn't sit with girls ONLY because I didn't wanna get bullied like I did in elementary school. Oh yeah, that reminds me, the only thing that changed in those two weeks is that people would talk to me only to bully me, AND I became the teacher's pets. All four.

Every day I would come home sad or in tears. It was just hell. My parents wanted to know what was wrong, but I refused to tell them.

On the first day of the third week of school, I ate lunch alone once again. But my math teacher, Teacher3, came up to me and asked "Why are you sitting alone?" Tears welled up in my eyes as I answered.

"No one wants to sit with me. No one likes me. It's fine." I mumbled the last part and a tear came down my face. I just barely looked up to see all around people making glances and talking.

"But sweetie I see so many more open seats. Like at that table." She pointed at the girl table that I forced myself not to go to.

"I can't sit there [Why?] Because if I do I'll get bullied for being weird and an outcast. Plus everyone already calls me names like *I got quiet* gay and faggot." She first hugged me and then got angry.

"Who called you these names?!"

"I don't wanna tell you. I don't want anyone in trouble." She just huffed and stood up. She ended lunch early and I got anxious.

When we went to class, it just so happened that Teacher3 was my 3rd period and then she had a lecture (went something like this):

"You know what, I am ashamed of you guys. I am ashamed that people are still harshly bullied. I'm ashamed that people are upset. And I am, above all, disgusted to see ANYONE sitting alone at lunch!"- Everyone looks at me and glares. -"If I see a single person alone at lunch table again they will get detention. DO I make myself clear?" EVeryone said yes ma'am and we continued with math class.

For two days I was terribly bullied beyond explainable. I learned so many mean sayings and words, and actual curse words. I would use examples but I don't want this book to become mature rated from language.

On the third day after the incident, a nice girl that was very pretty and popular started talking to me. She will be named Girlfriend (you'll know why...). I started to like her while we talked and had fun. AT lunch I sat with her at the popular girl table and didn't care about the lame 'NO GIRLS FOR FRIENDS' rule I had made. Girlfriend was so nice and gave me the push I needed. I started to make friends and even made two guy BEST friends, who stayed with me all of that year.

I finally asked Girlfriend out using this little note.

Will you be my girlfriend?

Yes

Sure

ABSOLUTELY

IT WOULD BE THE BEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not ready...

No

Making me very happy, she circled d and gave me a hug. (Be mature guys don't think about the choice in that way)

We started dating and I befriended Bully2 (Oh goodness). She was a good writer and Girlfriend's BFF. I was finally starting to be happy. I would come home to school smiling and beaming.

That is, until I met Bully3.

She flirted with me in math class and I didn't realize it was flirting. We played footsies (another form I was unaccustomed to) and she would touch my knee. Bull3 then one day passed me a note in math class 4 minutes from lunch time. It said "Are you single?" I was about to answer "With the most pretty girl ever" but lunch time came and I couldn't answer.

I sat at the usual table as I ever did and was alone until my friends would come. Bully3 sat where Girlfriend was gonna sit though and tried to talk to me.

"I bet you were wondering why I asked you that." She bit her lip. "It's cause I like you." I blushed and started eating. "Well...will you be my boyfriend?"

I said "No I can't be your boyfriend." Then she frowned and slumped.

"Huh. I've never been turned down before. Why not?"

"Well, I-"

"What are you doing in my seat?" Girlfriend asked, standing right behind Bully3 angrily. Bully2 came right after her and just smiled at the whole situation. Bully2 doesn't like me.

"Oh you know...just sitting with my new boyfriend!" She wrapped her arm around mine. Girlfriend gasped and I squirmed out of her grasp.

"We aren't dating!" I looked at Bully3 first then at Girlfriend. Girlfriend was on the verge of crying and i could tell. Girlfriend was the toughest girl at our school and didn't really care about anything ( except me :). Bully2 just smirked.

"Whatever. I'm leaving." Bully3 left the table and Girlfriend and Bully2 sat down. I explained the whole situation to Girlfriend that I only liked her which was true. She trusted me and we were happy. Didn't last long though.

At the end of the day Bully3 came up behind me and started talking when she knew Girlfriend could hear.

"So all the flirting and footsies meant nothing to you!? All those hand holding was just a friend thing!?" Girlfriend came up to me angry and Bully2 finally sassed me.

"See, I told you he wanted to leave you! He said he wanted someone prettier earlier." At that point we were being dismissed in the hallway and school. I started crying in the hallway as both Girlfriend and Bully3 started talking to each other rumors about me and started telling everyone else. Tears kept falling down my face and while trying to escape school Teacher2, my nicest English teacher, stopped me and asked me what was wrong. I sobbed to her and said I didn't wanna talk about it and left.

On the bus everyone asked what was wrong but I wouldn't answer. When I got home I had stopped crying and never told my parents.

From then on it fell down. My life was worse and worse. Rumors about me being a whore flew and everyone hated me except those two guys best friends. I was bullied so much that I thought about suicide. I learned worse words and felt terrible. I even got bullied by Bully when we would be forced to see each other in the hallway, since we went to the same school. All this just kept getting worse and worse until I shut everyone out.

I didn't sit alone but I refused to talk unless I was forced to. I didn't like people because I was pouring emotion out of my heart. AT one point (Ex) Girlfriend tried to apologize but I ignored her like everyone else. When school ended my mom noticed something was wrong and tried to set me up with a doctor, but she gave up when she found out there was a 3 hour wait.

During summer I slowly put emotion back into my heart and started talking to my family. I started becoming the old me like in 5th grade summer. But I was still scared and was never really truly happy.

My mom refused to let me go back to the old middle school and got me into a knew one that was for smart people. I was anxious to start school because it was a new school. DUh.

On the first day everyone was nice but politely ignored me. When lunch came I sat by myself at first, but then it happened. The people that are the only reason I am alive today.

My best friends.

They called me over to sit with them so I did. For the first three weeks at lunch I was too shy to talk so I just ate my food and stared at anything but them. It was awkward and looking back now hilarious. Finally, I stopped being so scared and talked and made them all my best friend.

Of course, there were still bullies. I was known as the gay knew kid. By the way, during this time, I was discovering who I truly was. But people were getting in the way of that. All the insults and hurtful words were just too much.

That year I had learned that suicidal thoughts were not the only thing depressed people did. Cutting was another vent. But using a knife was too real and scary so I just tried to be happy.

It didn't' work. One day I cried and cried until finally I took a thumbtack out and started scratching myself. It wasn't hard, just like scratching with your own fingernail. But it wasn't working for making me happy. So I jabbed it in my skin and carved five straight lines in my arm, and watching the blood drip from my arm. I was happy for a split second until I realized I had to stop it from bleeding.

I went down stairs and told my mom I woke up like that and it was bleeding. She somehow believed me and just put a bandaid on all of them. The next day at school my closest friends found out I was hurt and I told them the truth. They were upset at me a little but helped me out and promised to beat anyone up that hurt me. They asked for names but I didn't give any. Word spread though and the bullying depleted at once. Over time it came back but just in occasional harsh teasing.

Now I am in 8th grade and am very well liked because even if most the guys have no emotion whatsoever towards me, ALL the girls liked me and are great friends of mine. I am happy with my life and happy with my friends. The rest of 7th grade went smoothly and just kept getting better, and somehow 8th grade is topping that. I am very happy and love my life. I am proud to call my closest friends my friends. I can't thank them enough for keeping me alive and being my friend when no one else would.

That is my bully story. What is yours if you have one? I encourage greatly to tell your bully story and just to vent. Thank you for reading the story and getting this far!

P.S Sorry for grammar mistakes it was 12:00 in the morning when I wrote this!

Was I justbeing insecure about all the teasing? I was just weak and such?

ADVICE: I learned that there is always someone there to help you out. Always someone there to make you happy and support you, even if for some, they are online. Forget what is happening to you and focus on the silver lining, the happy!