•Warning: Long Story.•

It all started when I was about 2 years old. My mother had to go from hospital to hospital because my my two twin siblings had something wrong with them. Even when they were born, I was still effected and up until grade 3 I had to miss a bunch of school because my brother, one of the twins, had half a heart and so many other conditions that he'd go from hospital to hospital and I didn't think it was fair, but I didn't have a choice. So anytime I came back to school, I missed so much that kids would start calling me dumb or saying "Has he died yet?". I always broke into tears just thinking about what could happen. The one bully, use to think I was ugly and call me diarrhea. Diarrhea was my nickname. But now, we're actually good friends and he trusts me and I trust him. He was most popular, and because of that, no one bullied me. They followed his lead. I was having the time of my life after that with my two best friends because no one bullied us, so it was like we were free.

...until grade 5.

In grade 5, I had grown up. I already got a pair of boobs and I went from shortest in my class to average. I knew what was wrong and what was right. I had a BUNCH of friends. I was miss popular, and many of my old friends were left behind as I got new ones. But then...I found out something I wish I didn't. I found out my best friend from kindergarten, was moving across the world and wouldn't come to visit for two years. My heart sunk.

Me and her tried to fit in a bunch of time missed until grade 10 together in. That just made it worse. But when the time came for her to leave, I completely broke. After about a week after she left, I went into depression. I didn't know it, but last year I figured out that was it. Everyone now thinks it's stupid I did, but I couldn't handle it, I had lost my only source of happiness. I spent most days away from everyone, and went from miss popular, to "Wait, who's that?". Then that summer going into grade 6, I made Instagram so we could text. But I noticed, she wasn't the same. I tried to find that old, happy her, but all I found was a rich popular girl. We still talk, but it really isn't the same. Then in November of grade 6, I went to school, everyone was staring at me, more then usual. Then one of my best friends came up to me and said.

"....you have a hate page on Instagram."

I fell to the ground. I was sobbing and trying to find something in the hall to hurt myself with. A pencil, sharpener, something. I was then took to see a councillor. The same girl who made the hate page bullies me, but it's lowered down. I'm in 7th grade now, extremely depressed, no friends, I only have my music. My best friend moved onto being my bullies best friend, and now we fight all the time. I've moved onto spray painting downtown with a group, and my life is hell. My only best friend I met through a friend online. We haven't even met, our friendship isn't safe, but we're like brother and sister. We're planning to meet when we're older. I know what I'm doing is wrong, but it's my only escape. I'd rather get kidnapped by him then be here. He's all I got left, aside from music and spray painting. My life is complete hell. I need help.

I need someone.

What should I do about my friend online? I know it isn't safe, but he's all I got. What should I do?

ADVICE: No matter what happens, your not alone. If you want to hurt yourself, don't do it. And if you think people don't care, I care. I care a lot about you.

You are NOT alone.