i want somebody to love me, i want to be loved for who i am and maybe for who i am going to be. i want to feel wanted, and i want and i mean really want my sense of self WORTH back, i want to feel like i'm worth someones effort and worth someones time. i hate felling like i am nothing that i can disappear tomorrow and that no one will even notice that i'm gone. i have been told and have heard several times that it will get better that this pain its only temporary but i cant help but feel like how is that even possible, how and when will it ever get better? i used to think that i was a strong person but then i started to cut myself and even thought about and even attempted suicide so how can i even almost remotely be a strong person? i have had a lot of people hurt me people i have been close to and also people who don't even really know me or me know them but it doesn't make it any less painful to endure. i have been abandoned more times than i can count by the people who would tell me that they loved me but i was bounced around between my parents and grandparents house so i never really felt like i was wanted i mean how could i when no one seemed to want me and when i did live with someone it always felt like i was doing something wrong that i could never do anything right. i feel lost, i feel confused, i feel unloved, and most of all i just feel UNWORTHY. i have gone trough a lot in my life and don't get me wrong it wasn't all bad because it wasn't even now it isn't all bad i absolutely have my good days and also my bad ones. i'm 23 years old i have been physically, mentally and emotionally abused since i was 10 years old. i have been bullied,abandoned, lied to, and put down by the people who are supposed to love me the most but it just feels like... it just feels like god i don't even know how to even remotely finish that sentence. i have never had a boyfriend to this day maybe its because i never felt that my family loved me so how in the world can anyone else love me even though i have prayed and wished for it for a long time. i hope one day that i will feel loved again and have my sense of self worth back.