Well....my name is Heaven and I'm an eight grader....Ive been bullied ever since the six grade and believe me its not fun....I would go to school and ppl would wait for me at the door....just so I would get jumped..... And ppl would record it and send it to their friends like its a championship fight and I lost.....

I feel like I dont matter and that I never will matter....even tho I have friends that I talk to and two best friends that I love....I can't tell them what's going on with me...because I'm scared....best friend 1 is getting ready to start school and bestfriend 2 is doing something important everyday....so whenever I feel hurt or damaged .. ..I don't tell them anything because ik that if I do they'll focus on me and not on what matters to them the most....

And I'm already an embarrassment .....

I'm a dirty person.....

I'm ugly

I don't matter

And once tired to take my own life.....I almost did...and when I tried my best friend convinced me to not do it and I didn't . ..

But little does she knows that I do it any other day when she least expects it.....

Then I'm so dirty I got raped in the seventh grade and I enjoyed it.....it was another way to relieve myself....but I was so scared that since I lost m virginty I didn't tell my mom because ik that it will kill her so I keep that a secret....but i decided to tell you because I can't take the pain of lying to my friends or my family anymore and the guilty was killing me softly.... So tonight just might be the night that I take my own life from myself.....so don't try to get me out of it.....its what I deserve...but this isy story so far ......farewell...