My bullying started in kindergarten, I was usually isolated and I had little to no friends. People thought I was weird because I have 2 different colored eyes so they avoided me at all costs. From kindergarten to around 4th grade, the bullying was manageable. I wasn't super depressed and I had like 1 friend that entire time. In fifth grade, the bullying was horrible. I was beaten up on the playground and told that I was fat and ugly. I remember one day, there were 3 sixth grade boys that followed me home just to beat me up. Sixth grade was no better. That grade was the first time I was told to kill myself. Now the first time, I didn't really pay attention and I just blew it off but the second time, it really hit me hard. The second time, I was surrounded by 5 boys in the boys bathroom and was called fat, ugly, a waste of space, a cunt, a bitch, and was told to kill myself while simultaneously being beaten up. I told my only friend that day that I was going to kill myself and she talked me out of it but it never left my mind. While in sixth grade I was also dating a boy that was in eighth grade and he physically, mentally, verbally, and sexually abused me. He raped me and when I reported it, no action was taken as there was insufficient evidence that a rape even occurred. In seventh grade I was locked inside my locker by three eighth grade boys on the first day of school. Throughout the year I was tormented, thrown down the stairs multiple times a day, and told to kill myself many times. I did eventually attempt to commit suicide but was found two days later by my parents, passed out on the floor. I then started self harming as the bullying got worse and I was raped again by 6 eighth grade boys on my walk home from school. This time I did not report it for fear of it turning out like the last time I reported it. In eighth grade I was sexually assaulted many times and I began to be cyber bullied by my classmates and random strangers in the Internet. I eventually lost the courage to self harm but did attempt suicide 7 times that year. I had no friends by that point and became anorexic from being called fat so many times. I'm now headed into ninth grade after a long summer of hiding out in my house, away from everything. I live in constant fear that I will be raped and beaten again. I blame myself for so much of the things that happened and continue to happen to me.