When I was little I was a happy child. I had a best friend and everything was great. Everything was good until I turned eleven and came fifth grade. My best friend left me for new friends and all of my classmates turned on me. Before my best friend would protect me, now I was alone. My classmates even waited for me to come to school and followed me all the way home.

I don't even want to remember the names the called me. Probably every possible name to make me vulnerable and weak, a couple times I even was bullied physically. I had no friends and I never told my parents because I was scared. The teachers knew about it and never cared. But then one day they found a new way to bully me. And so cyberbullying started. They made up a list what I think about them. Printed it and put it up everywhere around the school. After that it was the first time I wanted to kill myself. Six years on I still think it's awful that a twelve year old wants to die. I managed to convince myself to wait and try and live. I started to stop sleeping, not caring about school work even though I was pretty smart, eating less. I guess I looked awful. But I still didn't tell my parents. I wanted to transfer but all of the other schools were far away so I decided to wait. Only later I found about panic attacks and numerous disorders.

I survived middle school.In year nine I went to high school. And steps by steps I managed to find some friends. My new best friends did not go to my school. Everything seemed fine until year 10. My best friend backstabbed me. She left me with our best friends. I broke down completely. Starting thinking suicidal again and I almost did it. My parents started to get worried about me and I ended up in a hospital just after year ten. They told me I have two anxiety disorders, depression and panic attacks. Also I found out I am likely to be bipolar. But I didn't stop. I carried on living hoping for something. And then I made new friends. Of course I wasn't feeling perfect and I decided to flush my medicine down the toilet but I was alive.

Here I am now a eighteen year old, in my last year of high school. Yes I am not the happiest, still want to end my life some days. But I never gave up in a way. I'm alive. I have friends and I have grown stronger from my past.