I have been bullied in numerous ways. Cyber bullying , name calling , teasing , and so much more. This is probably the first time I have actual came out with everything. It all started back since elementary school I would be teased for being myself. I had friends but they all turned on me throughout my life. High school was the worst of ALL. I was bullied because I didn't wear the most fashionable clothes , my friends talked about me behind my back , people would say rude comments over the Internet such as "Your Ugly with all that make up on" or rude things of the nature. I have my insecurities or flaws as everyone say. I wasn't just an ordinary victim. I stood up for myself and those who was bullied. In middle school I fought all the bullies who bullied others. Fighting was my only option cause I didn't like people talking about me. One day in the cafe someone said I stunk like fish and then the whole cafeteria including my friends was making fun of me. I ran to the bathroom and cried. My "Friends" tried to come and comfort me but later on down the line I knew they talked about me also. I have auicidal thoughts everyday. I smoke marijuana to ease the pain but every night I get in the shower and cry with the lights off. I expressed the thought about killing myself to my boyfriend and my mom but they didn't do much. My boyfriend comfort me but my mom didn't say much. Sometimes I wish killing myself was more easier than thinking. I don't have the courage because I'm afraid of pain but my whole life I felt like I was living with pain. All I knew was pain and suffering. I'm actually doing better since I started my new job and I kind of love it. I have NO friends cause they all traded on me. I fuss and fight with my mom everyday , the things she say make me just want to kill myself. I've been called Fat , ugly , dumb , stupid , freak , bitch , dirty , and even been told I wish I would've aborted your ass. But now since I'm older I pray and I use those negative comments to better myself. Bullying is No joke and some may have tough skin while others don't so be careful what you say and how you say it cause you never know what that person is going through. If you see someone getting bullied stand up for them cause the show could be on the other foot.

-A.S