-Physical Altercations

-12 years old

-A few "friends"

-Awful, at first. I felt terrible. I was so scared and I hated their words and what they did to me. But then, after awhile, I started to feel good about it. It felt refreshing. I'd prepare myself to be hurt in the morning. Because at this time, I started hurting myself, and when they hurt me, it was like I was hurting myself but I let someone else do it for me. It was terrible to like it, but I was all over the place and didn't know what to do with myself.

-When I went home after a day of being thrown around and hurt, I felt good. I felt refreshed. They didn't do it everyday, but it was pretty often. On the days they did, I didn't feel the need to hurt myself. I was already in pain and I started to fall in love with this destruction of myself.

-I told my friend at the time, but eventually she joined in with the bullying. After that happened, I was scared to tell anyone else. She told me to grow up and stop whining. So I didn't want anyone else to think I was weak. I couldn't tell anyone.

-I was bullied for years. Probably 4-5, but I'm not sure exactly. It's all pretty much a blur.

-Not by anyone besides myself. The few people who bullied me eventually stopped and some changed schools. So It stopped, but the words never stopped hurting me and the bruises never went away. I still hear their voices and can feel the pain in my side. I beat myself up over it because I wasn't okay and I let their words get to me.