OK so my name is Madelyn and I have been through bullying since I was a newborn. My sister has always been mean to me and up until I was about 7 I wouldn't fight back. Now I will often fight back but It is hard when your parents always side with their favorite. (My sister is their favorite). My parents are always fighting and yelling at each other. My dad is a drunk and smokes cigares and my mom is a severe smoker. Anyway onto when school started, so when school started (in like kinder)I made one friend and we we're best friends. We we're very close and we would always push each other on the swings. Anyway, whenever we would be on the playground the "popular" girls would always throw pebbles at me and I would often run and hide behind some big poles. But of course, they would find me and throw rocks at me. I never fought back or told anyone because I saw no point in doing that. Anyway, we moved, and yes I never was able to see my best friend again. We moved because my dad cheated on my mom and she didn't want to be with him anymore ( but still ended up getting back with him). So at my new school ( about 1st grade), we would have assigned jobs for the students and often people would want to be the bathroom monitor, which stands in front of the restroom and makes people stand in line and wait to go inside. So there would be about 5 people in the bathroom and when one left one more entered. So it was always the same number of people in there. OK so I was always fatter and taller than the other kids but I never really thought of stuff like that. Anyway one time a "popular" girl was picked and when it was my turn to go, she would put her hand in front of me to stop me, and let the girl being me go. So I was last to go in. After moving away from there ( for bug infestation reasons), i moved to a nicer neighborhood ( about the 2nd grade) and made about maybe like 7 friends right off the bat. We all stayed friends until the end of the school year. So then fast foward a few years and a few bullies, about 3 of them moved away. So i make a few new friends in middle school. But they always make fun of me and they dont realize what they are doing to me. They dont realise my self esteem is already one million feet underground and they aren't helping. Anyway I still deal with my family and friends ( sadly another one of my closest friends is moving away) bullying me . I have cut myself before. I have cut my wrists, thighs, shoulders, and stomach. I have starved myself and still no one notices that I want to die. Mainly music helps me get through tough times. I like stuff like Pierce the veil and twenty one pilots. But I am slowly recovering. I still want to die but at least I am 2 months clean. I know my story isn't the most interesting story, but......I honestly don't know what to put. Anyway I think the saddest part of this all though, is that I only just turned 13 in June. And it's only July. But anyway thank you for spending your precious time reading my failure of a life.