Okay .

So my story started when I was sixyears old and I am now sixteen . I just got stopped being bullied .

I moved primary school( Ireland ) when I was six and the whole entire class bullied me except for a few girls and boys who just stayed quiet the whole time .

I won't brag but I'm a very good singer and I used to do professional gymnastics ... Mum says the bullies were jealous of me ? But do ppl actually get bullied through jealousy ? I don't know but one thing I know for sure is that I done absolutely nothing wrong to these kids and teenagers because I hate the idea of someone feeling hurt .

So all throughout primary school I got called ugly , horseface .. But the one thing that stands out in my mind is that they always called me 'disease girl ' and I don't know why . so I was very upset all the time and if I hurt myself in school I would get laughed at , my head got wacked off a classroom door once too .

So lets move onto secondary school . this is when my life turned completely upside down .

I would never wish it on anybody

I went to a boarding school and I stayed in a dorm room with five girls . it was so stupid how the bullying started , basically a girl wanted to swap beds with me but I didn't want to so since that day she bullied the shit out of me .

She can be bully 1.

Bully 1 put me in a headlock once , she threatened to kill me ALL THE TIME , always called me a bastard , told me to go suck donkey Wang , she made me scared to speak at all. so I was emotionally battered in the boarding house .

Then in school there was always boys in my class calling me names and mean things so between that and the boarding house i was having a pretty difficult time . a couple months before the end of the year I met my best friend . she was like a sister to me because she helped me through the bullies and we got on so well . summer came and ended and school started again , she wasn't there on the first day back so I was asking some girls I'd they know were he was

She had nearly died over the summer from an eating disorder

. she got bullied in primary school and got called fat everyday :(she's now stick thin but a lot healthier.

So when I found this out I started crying because she was my bestfriend . a girl started laughing at me ! Wtf !?

SO. ... She was gone for a few months and I was missing her like crazy , I went her cards and letters , gifts to the hospital to keep her company .

I still got bullied by the girls in the boarding house up until third year . in third year I found out that another girl in the dorm had been telling bully1 lies about me to make bully 1 angry .. I forgave bully 1 even after everything she put me through but I had a grudge on the other girl who is now bully 2 . alot of older people in the boarding house were very mean to me too .

Bully 1 nd I then became good friends so she is now friend 1.

In third year a group of people started bullying me VERY badly , they'd surround me and try to fight me for absolutely no reason and threaten me all the time , I admit I was very scared . the name calling came back but much worse. Skank , slut ( I've only kissed boys so this term was stupid ) , horserace ,asshole , dickhead etc.. I was in a bad place .

So really I'm shortening down everything that happened because I went through trauma every day .

I've was bullied for nine years straight ...before I done my junior certificate I fell out with my best friend because she started to be very mean to me on social media , I became friends with the girls in the boarding house after a while . I then found out my brother had told the girls that I was a test tube baby and that I was from a different man... I have grown up without a father a finding this out really upset me because I felt I would never meet my father , but I was more angry at the fact that my family had lied to me . I found out what my brother said and it was a lie .I'm still very upset .

In my fifth year of school which was this year I became badly depressed the bullying became worse when fake rumours were spread around the school about me . someone made up that I gave some guy a blowjob ( have only kissed boys ) and then somebody told my friend that I was spreading around that I was his girlfriend .... Then a girl who I thought was my friend made up a rumour that I dry shagged a boy in school .

What the fuck did I do to deserve any of this , oh I won't forget that I was sexually harassed by an eighteen year old when I was in second year , he was in leaving cert !! He also spread rumours that I sucked his dick .. :( :( I was getting badly judged and soon the whole school found out and I was getting stressed and bullied even more

It came to the stage were I started self harming because I couldn't wake up in the morning without thinking ' what is going to happen to me in school today ? '. ' am I going to get decked ? ' I jut wanted away from everything and I wanted to die so badly but I couldn't bring myself to doing it because I knew that I would be out of school someday and I couldn't hurt my mum . I have cut myself many time because I jut thought ' there must be something wrong with me. It's all my fault . I just took it out on myself . when it got really bad I just lay on my bedroom floor when I for home and just thought of how I could kill myself . I must have been laying there for a few hours because everything just seemed extremely quiet and I didn't know if I was live or not , I didnt want to be but I had to make sure and the first thing I thought of was getting a knife .

Basically a nice student councillor in my school called me into her office and asked me was I okay . I was shaking

I denied everything first of all and said I was fine but I just thought

' if I tell her everything. Everything might change '

So she asked me ' are you sure there isn't anything else going on that you want to talk about ?' And with that I jut burst out crying and ended up telling her everything and she was so lovely to me . I found out later on that the girls in the boarding house had seen my cuts when I was wearing a T-shirt one time and I was dying my hair red

My mum had to be told and when I say I was scared I was fricken freaking out

I was never so scared of anything EVER and I just couldn't get out of my head how ashamed she would be of me and how angry she would be .

She was told and she was disappointed in me . she said she knew about the rumour but there was a better way I could have dealt with them

She doesn't realise that I've been bullied for nine years straight and it ll just got too much for me to handle .

I have one year left of school but I have decided to not return . I never want to set foot in the school again , I get weird feeling even thinking about it . I just can't go back .

Then bullies completely ruined my life because I used to so cheery and bubbly , happy

Now I'm completwly the opposite .

That's what upsets me the most above everything

Bullies have changed me and I will never be able to think of my childhood and smile remembering all the fun I hd .. Because the only things I can remember I being bullied .

Thankgod I don't have to go back to that place , to them people

I feel ruined

And that's only one side effect of being a Billy victim .. I have many more