7th grade was the most miserable year of my life.

I had just recovered from a complete mental and physical shutdown that my mom swears was caused by all the stress of finally leaving my abusive father and running to a new state. I spent a month in bed thinking I was going to die and even after my fever was gone and I could move again I was still prone to coughing fits and fainting spells. I was terrified to start at a new school. Rightly so. On the first day I got onto the bus and freaked. There were men everywhere. I realize they were the same age as me but they were all so much bigger and tougher and scarier and I thought I would faint. There was no reason to confront it at home surrounded only by my sister and mother, but here it was clear just how much all my experiences with my dad had left me fearing the male population.

School itself wasn't as bad as I expected. I just stayed quiet and kept to myself... but everyday when I got on that bus it felt like I might die. One boy in particular was an instant inspiration of sick feelings. Every day he would sit next to me even when there were empty seats and his friends would all fill in the surrounding seats. He didn't do this because he wanted to be my friend. It was because he seemed to get insane amounts of enjoyment watching me wince every time he would shove me against the bus wall. He would smile with every taunt he sent my way. Laugh with all his friends as I held back hot angry tears.

I didn't like being small. I hated being weak. So what did I do? I acted tough. I started firing insults back. That just made them laugh harder. I started to wear longer sleeves when I ran out of excuses to tell my mom for the bruises on my arm from all the times I was slammed into the wall.

One day he got on the bus with a fake mustache and started his usual tormenting but progressed to even worse additions including hitler and nazi jabs. I had already stopped wearing my star of David to school in order to avoid the extra jabs that being Jewish in a small country school run by Christians seemed to bring. This was just the straw that broke the camels back. I lunged for the hitler stache. He grabbed me and held me down. I started crying as he yelled things like "No (my name) I will not take my pants off!" and other more crude things that I don't feel like talking about.

As much as I struggled and cried out for the bus driver to help me this boy wouldn't let me go until a friend of mine heard me and crawled up the isle. She kicked him until I was released. A few moments later we were at school and I scrambled over him and a few seats to get out of the bus.

This was the last time I would stay quiet. I went to the office to report it. They told me I was not to speak of it and to go back to class. I didn't hear anything else until I was forced to get back on the bus that afternoon. I was physically feeling terrible and it turns out I was having a relapse of whatever it was that had made me sick for all that time after we left my dad. It hurt so badly that all I could do was curl up in a seat and cry. I didn't even have the strength to look up when that boy came in with all of his friends and started talking about how the school had told him he had to behave better on the bus and then let him off with no threat of punishment at all. This strikes me as odd now since he already had two protective orders against him that were filed by two other girls he had tormented before me.

When we reached my stop I dragged myself off and got into the car where my mom waited to pick me up. When I saw how horrified she looked at my appearance and the tears I was crying I had to tell her everything. For months I hid everything because I thought she had enough to deal with when it came to the divorce and work without me adding my troubles to that load. So I smiled and tried to be brave.

She freaked out of course. When we got into our house there was a big rush to call the school. They told her the situation had been handled and she disagreed. When the secretary hung up on her my mom called the police. They showed up and had me repeat my story and show my bruises. When I was done they told my mom that there could be criminal charges filed for sexual harassment assault and a few others I can't remember.

The next day my mom drove me to school and we sat in the office until a police officer showed up. The school shuffled us into a back room with the vice principle who finally let me see him now that there was a police involvement. He said that he couldn't actually do anything without evidence (It turns out that the bus driver got scared thinking he was going to be blamed for negligence and got rid of the bus camera recordings). My mom was infuriated by this. The police officer gave the list of possible charged that could be filed. They all discussed possible actions.

In the end even if he did make me miserable I didn't think sending him to jail was a good idea. So the school gave me a protective order and banned him from the bus. The police officer said that if he tried to contact me or show up at my house that we should call them and they would handle it. My mom seemed satisfied. That lasted until he started finding me in the hallways and we found out that the school's "protective order" just basically meant that a teacher would separate us if they saw us. Which they never did.

When I started receiving threats from his friends who were in my classes and my stuff went missing from my locker my mom was through.

I was transferred to a private school in a nearby city within two weeks.

Teasing name calling and some physical altercations

I was 12

A older boy on the school bus

Miserable scared sick and angry

Scared and weak

yes

because i needed help

4 months

no because I transferred schools