Some people don't mind yelling. I hate yelling, but at the same time I'm immune to it. When I was younger, about 6 maybe, my parents and brother fought every night. This continued until about 2 years ago. Yelling at each other, my brother and father would sometimes even hit each other. That's why I hate getting yelled at/ yelling. My parents and brother still fight, but not as bad.

I also hate crying. One, it's just awkward. Two, when people cry, I always remember my sister laying in the bed beside me, supposed to be asleep, crying because my parents and brother would be fighting.

To me, that was sorta like bullying a young child. It really messed with my trust believe it or not. I never know who I can trust, and I never tell anyone ANYTHING. I actually don't trust anyone, thinking about it.

I'm older now. As said before, my parents and brothers fighting isn't that bad anymore. They don't yell as loud and don't hit each other. They still fight though. My parents fight, too. I know, everyones parents fight. But I still hate it.

I'm now bullied by 'friends' and family. The family is mostly cousins saying I'm annoying and they don't wanna hang out with me. It hurts cause it feels like everyone says that. I usually just get a really depressed feeling and don't talk to anyone. Then when parents ask why I'm so quiet, ( I'm usually very loud and outgoing when not in this mood ) I'll just say I'm tired. As for the friends thing... Oh boy. If you don't agree with everything that they say, you practically just signed your death wish. In my class, there's basically one big group of girls. But, they are usually split up into two or more groups bc someone decides that they don't like someone else, and then chaos begins. Everyone is fighting. And I have to choose a side. And when and if I do, the other side talks shit about me. Example: she's and annoying little brat. That has been said about me so many times I can't count. And that hurts because my "friend" just stayed that. That's also a reason I have trust issues. I had one friend that I could talk to, but she left last year. I sometimes didn't trust her though.

Even my mom calls me shit. She says I'm a brat or self centered, etc.

I have thought about cutting, sadly. And I have done it. But I always do it in a different spot so it won't leave a scar. I have also thought about death. Maybe people will be happy if they don't have to see me again... I'm a wimp though. So I don't cut too many lines or very deep.

Maybe it will get better though. Maybe I'll meet a guy and we'll become best friends and I can tell him everything and he'll tell me it'll be okay and we'll fall in love and live happily ever after. But then again maybe not. Maybe death will find me already dead with blood pouring out of my arms and no one will ever know my full story. But until then, I'll just stay here and hope for the best.