Hi. Well I'm very awkward at starting off here so I'm just going to go straight to the point. So when I moved to a new town, new home, and started a fresh start in a new school, I was bullied.

It all started when it was the first day of school for me starting as a second grader. The school was cool. Ha, that rhymed (excuse my randomness) It had all the things I'd pictured in my mind: a fun playground with a rock climb and some killer cool swings and monkey bars, a wide rich green field of grass that had to be half a mile long, some of the nicest and funniest teachers I've ever met, and a very stern and strong but patient principle. It was perfect from the outside. But when it was actually time for school, oh boy.

I was far different from all my peers. Especially the girls. I was wearing jeans, some Spiderman sneakers, a batman shirt, and had a teenage mutant ninja turtle backpack. My hair was long and curly, and messy. I also had pigtails. I was clearly a tomboy.

"Ohhhh," my new teacher cooed. "You must be the new student. Well hello dear!" She was a nice old lady wearing some mom pants and a shirt that had snoopy on it. I was intrigued.

"Oh come on now. Don't be shy! Come in here."

All twenty pair of eyeballs were following my every move, checking me for any flaws. By the looks of the girly girls, they saw me as a fly in their milk.

I stood in front of the classroom, nervous and very vulnerable. I was scared shitless. Because I knew I had introduce myself, and I will automatically become a social pariah.

"Tell us your name now sweetie. Don't be shy."

This was it. This was the time. This was about to happen. They would all know my biggest deffect. And I couldn't get out of this unless I pretend I faint like last time.

I gulped and swallowed my pride.

"H-hi. M-my n-name is-"

"Teacher, she can't talk!"

Yup. I stuttered back in my years. I hated it. I am bilingual and because of that, when I was three years old, Spanish was my first language. My brain didn't let me make out the words in English because I was extremely fluent in Spainsh. It sounds weird but I guess my brain just rejected that. I mean, I knew the words. I said them in my conscious and it was okay. But I just couldn't seem to do it.

"She's weird! Why do you dress like that?"

"Why do you talk funny?"

"Haha, you're a freak. A weirdo. And you're ugly!"

"Okay! That's enough children. Now now, show your new classmate some respect." The teacher scolded and then laughed it off like they weren't just calling me names.

"Take a seat there darling. Between the girl and the boy." I nodded and ignored the rude stares from others.

I was able to make friends and they really didn't care about my whole stuttering and fashion sense, but I felt like they pitted me and took my under their wing.

I learned the ways of the school and mastered everything. I exceeded in Language Arts and Mathematics. I was bullied because of that also and I had the highest reading lexel because I was a third grader reading books for fifth or even sixth graders. Bullied by that because whoever was high in reading always earned candy. It sucked for a while and I stayed close to my friends.

I stayed silent in class and because of that, my peers thought I was blind and deaf.

"Oh my god," One of the girls from second grade whispered to her friend, also a girl from my second grade class.

"She is so stinky and weird. Who wears flip flop when it's cold?" They laughed and pulled my hair. I ignored them and continued to pay attention.

Always dealt with this kind of stuff and tried to ignore it. But it got the best of me sometimes. Because of that I started loosing the desire to try and learn, and started to listen what my bullies called me. Stupid. Fat. Ugly. Freak. Weirdo. Quite girl. Teachers pet. Etc. It hurt. A lot. And every day I felt that pain and ache in my heart.

With my deffect, the school always sent my to a speech therapist during recess and random times of the day for therapy. She was really awesome. She always was very patient with me throughout the lessons, always calmed me down when I was close to tears if I couldn't pronounce some words, and most of all patient. Very patient. I started getting better and continued to level up.

I was doing good so far and became a bit more stronger. But by the time we were the fifth graders, we separated. Everyone did. It was weird. Suddenly, we were all labeled as something. Popular boys on that side, popular girls on the other. The nerds on that side, and the idiots on the other. The wannabes on that side, and the cool ones on the other. And where was I? No where. My friends became my new tormentors because they had gained some, not even all popularity, just SOME popularity and had the upper hand when it came to me, because I had told them all my secrets. My dreams, my goals, my ambition, everything.

It sucked balls and once again, I had to start fresh.

But more trouble was heading my way. I um, how do you say - I was going through many changes like I thought I would. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My parents went through financial problems, my sister was diagnosed with depression, I cried myself to sleep more than usually, and I was loosing hope and faith in god.

Again, sucks to be me.

I also made the ultimate mistake when it came to how things were going and only my water will eventually spill from the glass.

I started to like a boy. And turns out he liked me too. But he was ashamed of me, as I was ashamed of him. He was considered popular. I didn't like anything associated with that. And I was just...me.

We kept it a secret and sort of dated? He helped me achieve my goal of not stuttering and I helped him when things were rough at his home. We lived in the same neighborhood and our parents were friends so that's how we met. I liked him, alot. He liked me, alot. We stole our first kiss, held hands, and shared moments. But we were friends. Best friends. Except we kissed sometimes. I wouldn't call ourselves a couple but we were there only for eachother.

But at school, we were nothing. He was my "bully" and I was just me. It sucked to be me. Though the only one who stucked with me through everything, was my best friend. That's when I knew, she was the only thing that was good at school.

My ex friends were always following and granting wishes the popular girls would do, and I won't lie, it was amusing; but anybody but them could see thst they were nothing but some helper girls that thought they were so cool just because they were with the popular girls.

One day, oh lord, one day, I decided to dress like a normal girl. I wore a dress, some cute shoes, and let my hair down, and smelled like roses and vanilla instead of my usual mango and papaya scent.

The minute they saw me, was shocking. I didn't even look like myself anymore. And in that moment, I became popular. I was such a hypocrite, I know.

I gained more confidence and self-esteem, to speak. They were baffled to know that I could finally talk like a normal person. I wasn't. I already learned how to and mastered it before I started fifth grade, I just didn't feel like talking. So now I was in a clique and was popular. It felt good, and it felt like I was powerful. But I made so many bad and stupid decisions.

I became a bully myself and started picking on the ones who were "inferior" to me. I left my best friend for the girls and she hated me. I left and broke up with my childhood sweet heart. And I became the person I exactly hated.

What was I thinking? I don't know. I don't think I was thinking at all. I used all that hate and anger, that resentful feeling that always lingered with me, on others. I went to the dark side and believe me, there are no cookies there. Just bad mojo and heart of darkness that will forever be there, until you decided to wake up. I hurt so many people, hurt so many things, and I hated myself more than I hated the ones who did the damaged to me.

I came to my senses when I was about to lash out at the new girl who was shy. I realized how stupid and childish I was, that I just gained the courage to humiliate myself in front of everybody and loose my status to prove a point. How? Awesome field trip to the woods where we would stay for two days, and do lots if activities. Don't ask me how. Lets just say it involved a worm, a dare, two truths and a lie, and a fight. Weird I know. But that's another story. But anyways, I just changed back into old habits and apologized to everyone I hurt. I started with the ones I bullied and the ones I cared about. I reconnected with my bestie and my childhood boy. But he was just a friend now and I was okay with it. I changed. And I liked it. In the end, I was respected because and I quote, "I would've rather kissed a toilet seat and eat dog poop than embarrassed myself like that." The popular people said that, and I became a friend. I changed them and they changed me.

I was never bullied again but I alwayd stood up for anybody that was and became sassy with the bully. I just changed.

My point is, embrace change. Embrace the people that are there for you in your darkest times. Strive for bravery and be you. Be the girl or boy who is not afraid to speak their mind. Be the girl or boy who is not afraid to be who they are and embrace your true self. Be the girl or boy who helps the ones who can't stand for themselves and can't speak their minds. Be the girl or boy that you are, and prove a point. Because you will never know who will love that person. Trust me, it gets better. It always does. Life will suck sometimes, but remember it's only temporary.

Everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright?

Well babe, it's not yet the end.