So.. i really don't know where to start but it all started when I was in third grade. I was 8 years old that time. I was so skinny so I am really prawn to sickness. I have typhoid and a dengue that time. I ate a lot and started to get fat. This kid in my school, in the same grade, started to tease me as 'chubby' but I didn't mind it. Then in fourth grade (I was 9) they started to call me pig, deadhungry, I can't live without food. Stuff like that. Me, being me, still ignored it. in fifth grade, I exercised everyday. I don't know it's like a magic, I got skinny again. I was so confident to go to school at that time but people said I got a plastic surgery. They call me fake and plastic. That time, I got hurt. I don't know what's in my mind but I started to cut. In sixth grade the bullying still continues. But not only by words. A seventh grader started to punch me, kick me, call me awful names, and hurt me even mentally. It was like, involved to my daily routine because before and after school, he would always hurt me. Now, I'm in seventh grade, it still continue. I don't know why does he hates me. He even told everyone that I slept with all of the seventh graders so people are calling me slut, whore, skunk, and bitch. On first it was only on school but it became online. I don't tell my parents this or either my siblings or whatsoever. I have no friends since forever. and Oh! to add... there's a girl in ninth grade who would always hit on me. Like everytime she sees me she would always say out loud "Oh my god, have you seen a slutty skunk that is a freak and a weirdo?" Stuff like that. Everytime I go home I just lock myself in the bedroom and cut. I always cry before I sleep. I was never close to my family, even the relatives. My brother hates me, my younger sister always ignores me, my mom doesn't care about me and sometimes said that I should be the one who died not my twin, my father sometimes calls me names. On my birthdays, they don't even care so I celebrated it by myself. I tried to kill myself thrice last year but it always don't work. I don't know what happiness is. I never felt it. I just wish that tonight if I sleep, I will never woke up forever. I was thinking that people would be happy if I were not here. No more nerd, no more geek, no more slut, no more whore, no more skank, no more emo, no more selfish, no more useless person, no more fat, no more ugly, no more pig, and no more suicidal girl who always lock herself on her room. I just wanna fucking die right now. Nobody would even care. Why am I still alive?