The first time I was bullied was in third grade I had gained a friend and thought she was really nice but at one point she asked me if I wanted to pull a prank on the least popular girl in school. She wanted to invite her to a sleepover and fill her sleeping bag with slime. I denied it I knew no one liked her but I was shocked at the violence of my friend. The next day at recess I was called by a teacher to come to her when I did I saw my " friend" sitting next to her. The teacher had a piece of paper in her hand. She told me what my friend had said: she found a piece of paper on the floor about the sleepover thing with my name on it and much more awful things. I denied it was mine cause it wasn't but I was sent to the principle that day with my parents. We went over the story and my parents believed it. I was sad. I thought how could they trust her and not their daughter I was suspended from school for two days. After getting home my parents grounded me. Then they started talking outside my window. I opened it to here them talk about mental illness and boarding school. That was it. I cried until I couldn't breathe, slept, woke up crying, then cried more. I did this for months on end. At this point my parents have signed me up for three talking doctors and put my on multiple medications. This combined with sleep loss I started failing in all my classes and even fell asleep many times in them. No one talked to me they thought I was weird or I was stupid for failing. At recess once my " friend" pulled a knife on me. She threatened me and kicked me. One kid once said " retard can't even pick up a rock, here's how you do it" he then picked up a rock and chucked it at me. I ducked but it me on my temple. I had a gash on it and my ear was ringing. I lost hearing in that ear for a week. Slipping into depression, nothing got better. That summer I cried every day and never went outside and stopped eating. By the time I got back to school I was the same weight if not less. My grades got better I had B's and A's and didn't fall asleep in class. I had finally gained three friends every thing was great until the last quarter. One of my friends was over weight but I didn't care. One day it was somebody's birthday and they brought cake and everyone had some. Recently my friend had gotten sick so I said " are you sure you should be eating that much" referring to her possibly getting sick. She took it a different way. She ignored me completely including my other friends. I had no idea why. After asking many times they told me. I felt awful. I apologized many times getting shunned. I tried apology notes. She threw them away without looking at them. I gave up after a month. The rumor had spread. No one talked to me. At least normally. I was constantly bullied. I was punched, screamed at, and smacked. One time when we lined up after lunch the teacher left to pick up some files or something and three boys circled me after the usual taunts one shoved me onto the floor and they all started kicking me breaking a few of my ribs. Everyone stared but did nothing. The worst part is.... I go to a private Christian school and if public school is worse than this, I never want to go there. That summer I did the same thing but this time I started cutting. The next grade (Fifth grade)it was better I got a new friend and no one bullied me. Everything strangely got better- school wise- but not with me. I have bipolar depression. I self harm. Nobody knows about my depression except my three closest friends. I'm anxious and tense always thinking something is going to happen and I'm going to be hurt again. So far I'm fine and four months clean. I'm starting to let my guard down and I think my cutting is stopped for good.