It started when I was about five. I was home without mommy. The mean man was at home with me. He sat me down at the table. I heard my favorite song and started wiggling around in my chair. He yelled at me and then grabbed my arm. The next day I had bruises all up and down my arm.

Mommy had a new shift for the summer I was now around the age of seven. The mean man told me he would vacuum while I went outside and played basketball. It was ninety degrees that day. I was locked outside and I wasn't allowed back in until I pounded on the door and told the mean man that I had to go to the bathroom. The mean man would then stand by the bathroom door which I had to leave open and he would listen as I went to the bathroom. If I took too long for him he would yell and tell me to get out.

One night mommy, mean man, and I were all eating dinner at the table. I was talking and I said the dreaded S word..."stupid". Mean man lunged across the table and grabbed my hair and my face slammed against the table. I cried out and my mom screamed. I ran into my room and crouched down next to my window and put my arms over my head. I awaited the footsteps I knew were coming. It was either going to be mean man coming to finish his punishment or mommy to come and scold me. Mommy walked in and she was crying. She was crying harder than I was. I searched her face scared that mean man had hurt my mommy. Mommy told me not to ever do that again, but I wasn't sure exactly what I had done.

On the last night mean man was at our house. Mommy and him had a fight. I could hear them screaming. I was laying in bed clinging to my pink elephant. I was so scared for Mommy. Mean man had hurtful hands and if he tried to touch my mommy I would come out of my room and attack him. I was eight.

I was sent to my Daddy's house that weekend even though it wasn't his turn to have me yet, but I loved my daddy.

Mommy picked me up from Daddy's house and told me that mean man was leaving. I was so happy. Then I saw mommy. She was crying. I told her that if she wanted him to stay it was okay. This made her cry harder so I just stopped talking to her.

While all this was happening at home school wasn't any better.

It started in the second grade. I had befriended the bullies. They made fun of everyone, even their friends. I was normally the peacemaker but I always chose sides. I chose mean girl's side every time. Mean girl almost broke my friend's hand one time by throwing a rock at her. Mean girl could have broken my nose by kicking me down a slide, twice. I chose mean girl's side because she liked me best. I knew that because I was the only one she kissed.

Mean girl started kissing me in the third grade. At first they were small little pecks. I didn't know that girls didn't do that. My family told me that kissing family is okay. Mean girl was basically my family. So, I let mean girl kiss me, as long as we were alone.

One day one of my friends called me ugly. Mean girl found me crying behind a tree and kissed me. It made me cry harder. My other friend then found us and apologized claiming that she had meant to say it to someone else. That was the day we swore never to cry at school again.

One day mean girl and one of our other friends were sitting on the slide with me. It was our normal hangout. It was fourth grade. We were making friendship bracelets. I wasn't good at making them so I just told jokes and was look out to make sure our other group of friends didn't try to get close to us. I was the strongest of all of us. I gave the worst Indian burns, I could hold my place and not let anyone get near the slide so I was a perfect guard. There was a moment of silence and Mean girl leaned over and kissed me. Not just a little peck either she had been getting braver and this time it was a full on kiss. With tongue and everything. I shook my head away from her and looked at our other friend. Her eyes looked like they would pop out of her head. I told an adult, but they didn't listen.

This might be a good time to add that when I was five a boy had tried to do it with me. He had pulled his pants down and made me pull mine down, but I was so distraught I screamed for my daddy. Daddy had beat the boy up. But, by fourth grade I knew basically everything there was to know about that kind of stuff.

I was changed to a different school and started in fifth grade. I made great new friends and we would laugh without laughing at someone. My mom got remarried that summer. She married a nice man.

In seventh grade I realized that my mom had a drinking problem. She wasn't that bad then. But, I knew that when she drank she got mean.

In eighth grade she got worse. She would drink a whole box of wine in two days. Not counting her rum and coke drinks. On super bowl we had people over and my mom drank a whole bottle of liquor. She stood up on a chair and fell on her back. She hit one of my friends because she had laughed. I was so embarrassed.

Some of my best friends are leaving my school because they are being bullied.

I should tell you that my mom has called me ugly, an idiot, ungrateful, a brat, a mistake, hurtful,and hateful.

My mom's current husband the nice man has told me that I have problems.

People have called me fat, ugly, stupid, a bitch, a whore, and several other hurtful names.

I had started cutting in eighth grade. My mom found out and made me stop. I go to therapy and "suffer" from depression, and slight anxiety. My therapist tells me that most of my problems are because of my mother. I have always wanted to defend my mother, but she has rarely defended me.

I told two of my closest friends about my cutting and suicidal "thoughts" I have three friends that have cut themselves. One of those three have tried to commit suicide three times. That friend, I'll call her Friend1. Friend1's mom is abusive and her dad died when she was four. Friend1 has been teased and made fun of all her life. A boy hurt her so bad that she took fifteen ibuprofen. Friend1's friend found her passed out on the couch and made her throw up.

So I guess that's my story up to now thanks for reading and please stop bullying.