《BULLIED》Story 25

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What type of bullying did you experience?

I experienced verbal, cyber and physical bullying. The physical bullying wasn't too bad, it was being stabbed with pens or pinched or beaten up, but nothing to harm me in a way that would get the bully's in trouble.

How old where you when the bullying started?

I have been bullied throughout my life by different people. I was bullied by my whole class for a year in primary school, in secondary I was bullied for being best friends with a boy and I was a girl, and now in highschool I get bullied constantly.

Who bullied you?

At highschool, everyone. My so called friends would send me hateful messages and ignore me, kids would call me hateful words, pretty much everyone in general despises me.

How did you feel while you were being bullied?

I feel worthless, suicidal, depressed, numb, sad and alone. I feel like such an outcast, like no one would miss me or care if I killed myself.

How did you feel after being bullied?

Well, the bullying hasn't really stopped. Kids will talk about me behind my back, beat me up, mess with my mind, all sorts. I don't really know how it feels not to be bullied anymore. I just wanna die and let the pain end, I guess.

Have you told anyone you know that you were bullied?

Not really. Once when my friend was texting mean stuff to me I told her to stop being a bitch and stop bullying me, so she made everyone think I was the bully cause I called her a bitch, even though she called me way worse.

Why/Why not?

I don't wanna tell anyone, because I know they can't help. Even if it did stop, they've messed with my mind way too much.

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How long were you bullied for?

Ever since I was five I was bullied on and off until the age of twelve. Ever since I started highschool I've been bullied constantly.

Are you still being bullied?

Yes. To this very day.

Hey. My name's Alexis. I've been bullied ever since I was little. It got worse when I started highschool, especially in the year 2015, while I'm in year 10. This is my highschool bullying story.

I have always been the odd one out. I've never been into One Direction or Justin Beiber or anything like that. I like songs with a deeper meaning. I think the only 'pop' artist I like is Sia. I listen to bands like Linkin Park, Green Day, AWOLNATION, Evanescence, We Outspoken, The Fray and a few other bands like that. I also like the old school bands like Red Hot Chilli Peppers and ACDC and Metallica.

People judge me and call me emo, punk, poser and many other things for listening to music like this. I don't get how this is being a poser, it's just me being who I am.

I listen to music constantly. I don't leave the house without my earphones in my pocket or in my ears. Again, I got judged for always listening to music. Music is the only thing I have to escape the reality I live in. I listen to songs that define me. My favourite song of all time would probably be 'Not Your Fault' by AWOLNATION. I listen to it a lot. When I get bullied and I'm breaking down I whisper the lyrics of that song to calm me down. I can't go to sleep without my earphones playing my music.

I get bullied constantly at school and at home. Once I was around at my friends place and there was me, my sister, my friend and my friends brother and we were all having a pillow fight in their lounge. I hit my sister with the pillow. It wouldn't have hurt, but she acted like it did to get attention from my friend. My friend said to her, "let's get her with the pillows ok?" And my sister nodded. Then my friend forced me to the ground and wrapped a thin sheet around me so I couldn't see and I couldn't get up. Then my friend, my friends brother and my sister started bashing me with the pillows. It would've been fun, except they all ganged up on me and hit me as hard as the could with the pillows. They had the pillows with the buttons on them, so when they hit you it really hurt. They knew this, yet they kept doing it. I was yelling at them to stop, with my eyes full of tears. It hurt that my friend would do this. I hated it. They kept beating me with the pillows until they got bored and went off to play playstation. I had little red marks all over me from the buttons. When my friend saw me crying she said, "Don't be such a cry baby, it's only a pillow." And then she left me. The next day I went to school with little red and purple bruises all over me, yet she made no comment. She never apologised. She's never apologised for anything she's said to me, unless she was saying it sarcastically.

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Once at school my class was cramped into a small foyer whilst waiting to go into the library. It's about 3mX6m foyer, so when about 30 students are squeezed into it it's really cramped. I was standing in the corner when this boy said, "Eww look, it's Alexis." so I said "Eww look, it's (insert his name)" Then he told me to shut up and called me an ugly bitch. Then he said out loud "Eww look at Alexis, what an ugly bitch she is. Look how ugly she is." Everyone laughed, and I just let my hair fall in front of my face while I ignored them. I zoned out. They said other things, but I can't remember. I'm glad I don't remember.

I self harm a lot. I have blades and I just sit there cutting my thigh until I feel content. I don't cut my wrists where they can see otherwise I'd be bullied even more.

Drawing is another escape for me. I'm a really good artist, but I draw sorta sad stuff, so when I show people instead of complementing me they say, "That's so depressing why would you draw that." Or "That is just weird." And stuff similar to that.

Worse stuff happens to me, but this story is long enough so I'll finish it off here. If you want to read my story, please check out my story. My user is @I_Wanna_Be_Gone and I hope you check it out. It would mean the world to me. My social media accounts are on my wattpad bio, so feel free to check those out too.

Thanks for listening to my story.

-Alexis AKA @I_Wanna_Be_Gone

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