All throughout primary school I had an awesome group of friends who all supported me and loved me. Coming from a small school, that’s pretty normal. Then I went to high school. There was a big size difference. My primary school was tiny. When I say tiny, I mean like 180 kids in the whole school. My high school had 1,200 kids.

I was pretty nervous when I started year 7. I only had a couple of people going from my primary school, and they were both guys. Surprisingly, I got into a group of girls who (at the time) were all nice to me. I hung out with them at lunch and recess, and although I didn’t quite agree with them on everything they said, it was company.

Until they started ignoring me.

Lunch breaks began to stretch for hours, with me listening to the girls talking about stuff I honestly didn’t know much about. They would ask me whether I knew what some certain thing was, and of course I had no idea. Then they would laugh, and say to the rest of the group, or some passer bye, “She doesn’t know what it means!” and all giggle into their fists.

I got sick of it all, and left the group. The first things they said to me were, “Where were you at lunch?” and “You didn’t sit with us!” as if it was some big deal. I gritted my teeth, and said that I was just hanging out with some other friends. They dropped it, and it was all good.

Except now I had no friends in my class, because the girls I’d started to hang out with were in a different class to mine. One girl started asking me, “Am I your friend?” and “Why aren’t I your friend?” in this stupid, whiny voice that only girls can manage. I sat on the end of the row of tables, and no one ever wanted to sit next to me. One day in science, the teacher asked us to get into groups of 2 or 3. My group had 7 people in it. They all paired off. I walked around the groups, asking if I could be part of their group. They all answered, “You were with us last time” or “Ask them.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I sat down on a chair, and let a tear roll down my cheek. The girls noticed, because all of a sudden they were kind and caring. I got in with a group, but it was then that I realised that my efforts of trying to be friends with them had failed.

I hated who I’d become. I was not who I had been at the start of the year. I cocooned myself inside a thick wall, and didn’t let myself shine through.

During all of this, I met my best friend. She helped me out, and is one of the reasons I didn’t leave the school. Although she was in a different class, she was experiencing some of the same stuff. She really saved me. To this day, she is my best friend.

As well as her, the bus became my sanctuary. I was friends with a few people in older year levels to me, and they were the only people I felt I could show the real me to, and laugh and enjoy myself.

Even though things got better, the classes day-to-day sucked. I had made the mistake of telling the group about the guy I had a crush on. They continuously teased me about it, but not in that funny, “haha you like him!” way, but they actually went up to him, and said, “Look, you’re breaking her heart! She loves you!” I could do nothing about it. Not a single thing. When it got to the end of that year, I was so thankful. My year 8 was brilliant. I had one of the best years of my life.

What I want you to take away from this, is that you are not alone. There are so many people getting bullied all around the world. Mine is a pretty minor story compared to some others I’ve heard, although that doesn’t make it any better. Don’t give up. Find someone to confide in. I read something that went along the lines of “To celebrate with a friend is to double the happiness, and to cry with a friend is to divide the sadness.” There’s always one person, in every single person’s life, who loves you. You are loved.

Don’t forget that.