He walks into my line of vision. A bit more hunched over than I remember, making him seem small and feeble in appearance. A sure long way from the man I'd always seen as indestructible and strong in any and all situations.

His snowy white hair, glistens in the little bit of sunlight that leaks its rays through the clouds of this dreary day. I haven't seen him in the last few years that I've been at university, yet I suddenly feel at home when his arms wrap around me.

"Richie, it's so good to see you," I can hear the strain in his voice as he speaks.

When we pull away, I take him in. His hair is much more sparse now that the years have taken its toll on him. The wrinkles around his eyes show how many happy times he's had in his life; the contrasting forehead wrinkles show the times of distraught and worry. He used to seem so big, so tall. He was always a huge part of my life, my god father, John Deacon.

"Good to see you too, Nino..," Biting the side of my lip in nervous anticipation, I take a deep breath before continuing. "Thanks for meeting me today, I- uh, I've really wanted to talk with you..,"

He nods his head slowly, peering at me suspiciously from the side of his eye as we walk on. I know that look— that's the look he gives when he's nervous about something himself. Maybe he knows why I'm here.

We have a seat on a bench in his garden, this is the yard I've the most memories in. The times of rumbling around with the my cousins and siblings don't seem too far back in the past. But, we've all grown up and grown apart more than I would have liked— but that's life, isn't it? That's just how it goes.

"So? What's on your mind, son? Lay it on me..," he chuckles as he rubs my back with one gentle giant hand, swinging his arm around my shoulders as we sit side by side.

Maybe I should scoot away a bit, hmm?

"Uh-hmm," I start to stutter- a clear nervous tick of mine as my hands fiddle with the loose button of my leather jacket. "You know, I'll be graduating soon and-,"

"Yes, I know. We're all so proud of you! Really we are," He gives that big grin I like. The one that always made me feel loved. His eyes disappear behind his raised cheeks and his small tooth gap clearly visible.

I nod my head, smiling politely back, but trying to remain focused.

"Thank you," I acknowledge his words. "Well, I ...what I really came here to say is..,"

Let's just say, his reaction is not what I expected.

At all.

"On Christmas? Really, even after—,"

"I want to make this holiday back into one filled with love and happiness.," I tap his shoulder as I watch his eyes glaze over right in front of me, I know I've triggered the memories of that horrible day. "Look, I really, well we both really want to do this," I finished saying, but as soon as his head shakes a little from side to side and his smirking smile shines on his face, he agrees.

"Eeee—yes.," he nods rubbing my arm. "Christmas will be wonderful...."

———————————-

Picking my phone out of my pocket, I glance at the caller I.D. before pressing the ignore button again. That's twice she's called now and I really don't have anything to say to her after the last time she ditched me. Some twin.

But, of course, after five minutes of bickering with myself, I call her back anyway.

"Why hello there, darling! To what do I owe the pleasure?," She croons into the phone. I roll my eyes at her damned sarcastic tone. It could cut the tie that binds us with that sliced tongue.

"Well, I just talked to Uncle John and-,"

"YOU DIDNT!?," she boisterously cackles on the line, she's almost breathless from her fit of laughter as she goes on. "I CANT BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DID IT!! Way to finally grow some cahones, Richie dear! I'm so very proud of you!,"

I should really stop telling her things! She always catches me when I'm vulnerable. Or at most, she's always readily available when there's drama involved. I love my sister, but some times I wonder what-

"Mercury to Ricardo...are you still there??," thankfully, she stops my thoughts from going down that road as I instantly step out of my burdened mind.

"Yeah, sorry— So, anyway do you want to go visit Mum and Pa tomorrow? We haven't seen them properly, I mean all together really, since their anniversary...,"

My other line beeps in my ear as I wait for her answer. She's doing it again, humming to herself as if visiting our parents is such a demanding thing to do. Checking my phone screen, I try to rush her so I don't miss the call.

"Just text me and let me know. I have to go,"

"Alright, alright. I'll meet you tomorrow, do you mind if I bring-,"

"No. Don't bring anyone with you. Come on, Char it's just a family thing-,"

"Oh, but you'll be alone, hmm?! That's not really fair of you," she begins to get upset. One thing I don't like to do is cause Charlie any upset. She really spirals. The last time we fought...well, let's just say I'm glad that's under control now.

"I won't bring anyone, then. Simple. Just meet me and we can pick up Lily together,"

After saying our goodbyes, my other line was no longer holding my other call. I dial the number, starting up my car. She answers on the second ring. Whenever I call, she's always there.

"Hi, baby! How'd it go? Is it safe to go home?," Her bubbly laugh, brightens my whole mood.

She is the one true friend I've always had throughout the years. She's the love of my life and I can't wait to marry Laura Deacon.

I just need to talk to my father about some things.

Father to son.

—————————————————

As we silently make the drive to pick up Lily from private school, the radio is the only sound in the car. While Charlie is completely submerged in her phone, my thoughts start to nag me.

I don't want to keep thinking this way, but sometimes I can't help myself. The memories... I only remember the happiness...

__Richie's memory___

She marches down the aisle, the very definition of sophisticated elegance. Her white evening gown blows at her heels as she glides across the piles of violet flowers, each petal crumpling at her feet.

I have to wonder if these flowers, cut dead ahead of their time, were to bloom endlessly along the path of their future, would she keep following them? It seems the black had been painted on so thick, top to bottom in the story of their lives together.

Or, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to the story, oh yes.

So, anyway—

A little bit of love and joy came alive that chilly night on that roof top. I remember feeling jittery and excited. I was responsible for getting Mum down the aisle. As redundant as a vow renewal might be, it didn't really mean any less to all of us present there that night.

I was told to wait by the door to the stairs to keep my suit nice and crisp— no wrinkles for the pictures of my parents' special night.

Charlie gets to play with everyone else, she didnt even practice a lot! She says she doesn't needs to practice. I wish I could sing, too. I'm too scared to sing in front of people like Charlie, but that's okay because I get to help Mum walk down the flower path. We all helped decorate the roof in pretty flowers! Purple flowers! Mummy's favorite.

A little quick exchange about my worries with Santa Clauses path being detoured, always seems to stick in my memory......

I really hope we don't get in Santy Clauses way tonight. He supposed to land his sled on the roof! But Papi said Santy Clause doesn't mind and he will still bring us gifts.

"Are they coming yet, Rich?," Auntie Rose asks me. She scared me a little, I was too busy thinking about the reindeers!

"No. I don't think so...," I says back. "But, we forgot to leave the carrots! Reindeers can't eat cookies, Auntie! They'll get sick!,"

The door finally opens up, but it's only Papi by himself. I thought he was going to get her. "Papi, I has to go downstairs! I forgot to give the reindeer foods!,"

He's got a real big smile on his face and he laughs so jolly, he sounds like Santa when he does that. "Don't worry son, I put a giant pile of carrots in front of the fireplace. They'll eat plenty," he rubs my head, making my curlies shake with his big heavy hand.

He bends down to me, whispering "Are you ready to go?," He tickles my sides when he talks to me, Making me laugh so funny.....

Mum creaked the door open slightly, almost as soon as he walked away.

"Richie," She whispered rather loudly. I turn around with a huge gaping smile on my face to see her features highlighted by a halo from the white flower crown that graced her head. My Mum has always been a beautiful angel— her heart knows nothing less than unconditional.

She reached her arm out for me. As soon as I slipped my fingers onto her palm, she pulled me into the doorway, closing it behind us. She knelt down to give me a hug, smiling so pretty.

"You think they're ready for us, baby?," She asks after quickly pecking my cheek and standing up again.

I nod my head at her as she starts to open the door now. Walking onto the rooftop terrace I took in the warm feeling of having all of our closest family and friends together with us.

I felt so proud and truly happy to be holding mums hand as I walked her down the aisle. My smile was beaming up at her while she said her vows. My favorite part was watching the vow exchange, the way the spoke to each other...the way their love spilled into everything.

"I live my life for you,

Think all my thoughts of you for only you...

Everything else is in the lap of the gods...,"

He always knew how to speak in a manner that made ordinary words sound like they were dripping with suave. His smile made his eyes shine brightly, his smile growing increasingly wider as he looked at her. And the way he looked at her— like she was the one vision he could never tire of.

I'd like to think I've found that now.

I remember them kissing and everyone cheering.

I remember taking loads of fucki- I mean, loads of pictures. Having to stay still and pose, things like that.

I remember when She smeared the cake slice across His face. I could barely handle my laughter as the four of us became decorated with frosting in a mini cake fight.

"Smile brightly for the camera!," that's all the photographer would say over and over again.

But that's it.

That's all I can remember from that night.

In each and every soul lies a man who very soon will deceive and discover many things in this lifetime, but what my father has taught me makes all the difference. The way he lives his life, guilty sinner but nonetheless, even til the end of his life he still brings a little bit of love and joy...

😅😅

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