The friendly, mild chill of autumn had now progressed into an icy, unforgiving winter. The once-blooming apple trees had lost their buds, now only a ghost of what they once were; gnarled, twisted shapes in rows along the skyline. The towering evergreens were adorned with light blankets of snow, and there wasn't a single birdsong to be heard. This was shaping up to be one of the harshest winters in Avonlea for a very long time.

School had let out for the holiday break, so you hadn't seen Gilbert for quite a while; you two never spoke about what happened in the hayloft. Sometimes it felt like everything was the way it used to be, but you could both feel a rift between you. You felt like he didn't trust you anymore. And, in all honesty, he had every right not to.

You were lying in front of the fireplace, sprawled out on your stomach on the bearskin rug when you heard a knock at the door. Marilla was already answering when you looked up from your book and heard a familiar voice; it was Diana Barry from school. It wasn't long before Marilla was calling you.

"Oliver, your friend Diana is here to see you," she smiled, looking at the dark-haired girl curiously. You smiled as you entered the kitchen, a bit surprised to see her. You hadn't spoken since that morning at school when Ruby Gillis was asking after Gilbert.

"Thank you, Ms. Cuthbert." Diana dipped her head courteously as she entered the foyer.

"So, what brings you by, dear?" Marilla inquired.

"Well," Diana turned to look at you as she spoke. "Some of the kids from our class are going down the river today since it's finally frozen over. I was wondering if Oliver might like to come." She beamed hopefully.

There was an awkward silence before you realized you were supposed to answer. "Um, oh! Yes, I'd love to. If I may, Marilla."

"I don't see why not. Just be careful. And bundle up, please, I don't need you catching a cold." Marilla affectionately patted your cheek. She was always looking out for you like that.

After you put on your coat and scarf, you and Diana began the long, freezing trek down to the river. Today felt especially bitterly cold, what with that relentless windchill. You were happy to be invited to something; this was your first time hanging out with kids from your class besides Gilbert. Oh, god, Gilbert. What if he was there? You weren't sure if you could face him. What if he'd told people about your secret? Not that he would do that...or would he?

"I'm glad you came today." Diana's soft voice derailed your train of thought. "I was a bit worried you'd decline."

"What makes you say that?" You mused, looking over at her.

"Well, you don't really talk to anyone. Besides Gilbert."

You stayed quiet, and she must have picked up that something was amiss because she didn't press you any further. After what seemed like ages of silently walking through the forest, the path came to a clearing through which the river ran. It was frozen over, but the ice didn't quite look thick enough for skating yet. To your right were Billy and some of the other boys from school, pelting each other with fistfuls of snow. To your left, Ruby Gillis and Josie Pye, who came happily bounding toward you and Diana. But no Gilbert. Part of you was relieved, but another part was bitterly disappointed.

Not really wanting to risk getting trampled or bruised by a snowball, you opted to stay with the girls. It was kind of nice- you guessed they didn't really take you seriously as a proper boy since they seemed to talk really comfortably and casually about whatever. The four of you shared some hot tea from a thermos.

"So did you hear that Prissy Andrews is going to the formal with Charlie Sloane?" Josie gushed, leaning towards Diana.

Diana almost choked on her tea. "Really!"

Josie giggled and nodded.

"Well, that's a pair I would have never expected." Diana chuckled. "Poor Ruby," she whispered, leaning into the group so as to not draw attention. "She's still waiting for Gilbert to ask her."

"I don't know, she looks pretty comfortable with Billy over there." Josie sniggered, and the three of you turned your heads to see Ruby and Billy standing over on the ice, laughing and messing around. At some point, she'd slipped away from the gossip circle for a bit of friendly horseplay with the boys.

"Huh," Diana marveled. "Who would have thought."

"So, what's a formal?" You wondered aloud, taking a sip of the warm tea.

Josie and Diana looked at each other and then back at you in bewilderment, as if you were a creature from outer space. "It's like a cotillion," Diana spoke up. "Every year, on the day after Christmas, everyone from school gathers at the town hall for a dance. The adults chaperone, of course. It's pretty fun. You should go," She smiled brightly at you, and Josie scoffed at her and rolled her eyes. Diana elbowed Josie and laughed.

"Yeah, I'll definitely think about it." You nodded with a chuckle. You'd never been to a dance before, but you'd read about things like that and always envisioned how you'd look; lilac floor-length gown with a bustle and corset, your formerly long (H/C) tresses braided and tied up with ribbons. You would dance the night away with a dashing gentleman and leave at the stroke of midnight. Not that you could ever make that dream a reality given your situation, but still, it would be divine.

Just then, there was a deafening CRACK from behind you, snapping you from your thoughts into the present moment.

"RUBY!" Diana and Josie screamed in unison. The newly frozen river had given way and shattered into dozens of fragments, the swiftly-moving current carrying large chunks of ice and branches downriver. Billy was clinging to a low-hanging branch, trying to pull himself from the freezing water, and his two friends were trying to help retrieve him. You couldn't see Ruby. Leaping to your feet, you quickly threw off your coat and hat and dashed to the riverbank, looking for any sign of the tiny Gillis girl. Diana and Josie were doing the same, calling her name over and over hysterically. Suddenly, you caught a glint of honey-colored hair beneath the icy surface and without hesitation, you dove in. It was nearly impossible to see anything in the murky depths, but you could just barely make out the outline of Ruby. The water was intensely, bitingly frigid, but you were more preoccupied with the fast-moving debris and the current that was pulling you quickly downriver. Fighting against the undertow, you managed to snake your arms around Ruby's waist and pull her up to the surface. She began gasping, coughing and spitting up water. Billy and the boys were reaching out from the bank and took her from your arms only before attempting to grab you as well. You strained against the icy current, and just as your hand was a mere inch from Billy's, a sharp piece of debris collided with your body. The last thing you saw was the frozen slosh around you turning dark red. And then blackness.

--

There was a light rapping at the door of the Blythe house, which was unusual for a Saturday. Gilbert answered, only to see his classmate Diana Barry. She looked disheveled, her face streaked with tears.

"Diana, what's wrong? Are you alright?" he asked, alarmed, stepping outside onto the porch with her.

"Gilbert," she stammered, choking back panicked tears. "It's Oliver. Something's happened."

"What? Diana, what happened?"

"We were all down at the river, and Ruby and Billy were messing around on the ice, and it cracked." she wiped her cheek with the back of her gloved hand, sniffling. "Oliver went in after Ruby, Gil, he's hurt."

"Oh my god," Gilbert's expression came down with shock and horror as he realized the gravity of the situation. "This is bad. Diana, where is he now?"

"The boys took him to Doc Spencer's," she replied.

"We have to go. Right now, come on." With great urgency, Gilbert grabbed her hand and dashed out back to the stable. He deftly tacked his horse, and climbed into the saddle, extending his arm to help Diana up.

"Gilbert, I don't understand-"

"Just hold on," he reassured her, snapping the reins and setting off towards the doctor's house at a full gallop.

--

Your eyes opened slowly to soft natural light, and the dark brown rafters of an oak ceiling. You sat up, immediately wincing in pain and laying back down. You could feel thick bandaging around your midsection and another piece of gauze wrapped around your forehead. Looking down, you quickly began to panic as you realized you were no longer in your clothes, but instead wearing a white cotton nightdress.

No. No. For the love of all things holy, no. The doctor had presumably discovered your secret while dressing your injuries. It wouldn't be long before the whole town did, too. You could feel hot tears stinging in your eyes as your mind began to race and your heart pounded. Would the Cuthberts kick you out? Send you back to Nova Scotia? Would your friends disown you? This would surely be the biggest scandal in all of sleepy little Avonlea.

"You should rest, dear." a female voice caught your attention. You averted your gaze upward from the crisp white bedsheets to see an older woman wearing a white cap and dress, who was presumably a nurse. There was pity in her eyes. "You've been through quite a lot."

"Ruby," you swallowed, your voice raspy. "Is she okay?"

"She's a bit shaken up, but she'll be fine." The woman placed a glass of water on the bedside table and maternally touched your forehead. "Now rest."

As she left the room, you heard thundering footsteps approaching. In burst Diana, who looked utterly distraught, followed by Gilbert who was equally freaked out. He was the last person you'd expected to see.

"(Y/N)!" he exclaimed, rushing over to you and immediately enveloping you in a tight hug. It was the kind of desperate hug you give someone after fearing you'd lost them. You winced in pain a little.

"I'm sorry," he pulled away, cupping your face in his hand. "Are you okay?"

You were crying now, tears slowly rolling down your cheek. "They know, Gilbert."

He was silent for a moment and nodded in grave understanding. "Look, it's going to be fine, okay? We'll figure this out, together. Nothing bad is going to happen." He pulled your head under his chin and stroked your short hair softly. You clung to his shirt collar and just let the tears go. You were terrified and in pain and it felt like all the frustration and worry you'd felt since coming to Avonlea was just boiling over into this moment. He pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, facing you and taking your hand in his.

At some point, Diana had backed out of the room, likely to find Ruby. You didn't care anymore- soon everyone would know about you anyway. "(Y/N)." Gilbert bellowed, redirecting your attention. "I'm sorry for the way we left things. I was embarrassed."

"No, Gilbert, I'm the one who should be sorry. I was shutting you out because I felt like you didn't trust me anymore. That was wrong of me, I should have talked to you," you sniffled.

"Hey," he squeezed your hand. "It's not your fault. And I do trust you."

You smiled gingerly, but your gaze averted away when you were startled by voices outside the door. Looking up, you saw Marilla and Matthew talking to Dr. Spencer. You watched through the doorframe as their expressions changed in shock as the doctor delivered the news. Gilbert, taking the hint, slowly got up and bowed out of the room. You stared back at your adoptive family, blankly, knowing what was coming.

Marilla and Matthew crossed the threshold of the room, slowly, looking at you almost in awe. It seemed that no one knew what to say.

"I'm sorry." you croaked, your voice cracking and hardly making a sound.

"You're sorry?" Marilla chided, her tone almost a hiss.

More hot, silent tears. More horribly tense silence.

"You lied to us. Blatantly, with no remorse. Never, in all my years, have I ever been disrespected or manipulated on such a grand scale. This is absolutely inconceivable," she paused in an attempt to control her temper and soften her increasingly furious tone. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she looked to you as if she'd hoped that you had the words she didn't know how to say.

"If you want to send me back I understand." You looked down at your shaking hands, your voice wavering.

There was another long silence whilst Marilla and Matthew exchanged a glance, then both looked back at you. "Now, I never said that. " she paused. "Though you may not be all what we thought, that doesn't necessarily change who you are as a person. Nor all you've done in your time with us. Just because you made a bad decision doesn't mean it's unforgivable. Boy or Girl, you're still our family."

You were in complete shock. You had entirely been expecting her response to be your exile from Green Gables. "I- are you sure?" you stammered, wiping your eyes with your sleeve.

"We're sure," Matthew reassured you, patting your shoulder.

"Oh, thank you!" you lurched forward, throwing your arms around Marilla and hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." you apologized repeatedly, and Marilla hugged you back, stroking the back of your head. Matthew joined the hug, too.

"I love you both so much," You pulled back, sniffling. "I promise, from here on out, no more secrets. Not ever." You used your index and middle finger to trace an "x" over your heart.

Marilla chuckled softly, a bit misty-eyed herself. "Well, good. I think that's for the best."

They hugged you again.