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Sona was buried in her blanket like a burrito, it was raining and as the droplets slapped along her window all she could hear were her own thoughts. Feeling like she was falling into an empty abyss, darkness engulfed her soul. The day hadn't even started and she felt like she was drowning six feet under.

She already knew that it was going to be a bad day.

It was 6 am, she wondered if her parents were even awake and as she gazed out the window she wondered if Abhay was. Her phone vibrated, she picked it up with her heavy hand. At least Aksith was awake.

She cleared the notification bar and went back to contemplating her feelings. How much of Abhay was good for her? How much of Aksith did she need in her life? Suddenly after going through the hardships of getting a job and earning her own money, she felt that love was much more complicated.

If she could've gotten a boyfriend long ago, she wouldn't have to worry about her marriage now.

She rolled over again and then a small knock was heard. She untangled her limps as her dad pushed the door open.

"Awake so early on a Saturday?" he asked as he closed the door behind him.

"Papa," she softly said.

Her dad already decoded her mood from the way she called him out. Frowning, he sat on her bed and slowly she crawled over, resting her head in his lap. With her face down she could hardly even breath but as her father massaged her scalp she felt a lot better.

"Is it about Abhay?" he questioned in a knowing tone.

"Kind of," she turned around so her voice wasn't muffled. "Papa, I don't want to get married."

He chuckled. "So you want to stay with me forever?"

"Yes," she spoke like a child.

"Is it hard for you to trust Abhay after everything?"

"It wasn't even his fault," she said. "He didn't even reject me but Papa, I am over that. I have this 'I don't really care' attitude about it now, you know? Of course its embarrassing and all but I don't feel like my heart is not beating for myself anymore."

Her heart beat for herself now, not Abhay.

"Did you like anyone else after him?" he asked.

Sona closed her eyes as she bit on her lower lip. "Not like I loved him."

"Aksith?" Even if he was questioning her his tone was filled with understanding. "You never liked him?"

"What is with you trying to set me up with him, anyways, Papa?" she forced out a small laugh as she dodged the question.

"So you remember you have another suitor," he spoke. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to accept Abhay wholeheartedly."

"I wouldn't do that," she said.

"You would," his fingers weaved through her hair. "When you feel you don't have options, Sona you accept that fast enough instead of trying to find options. And when it came to Abhay, I didn't want you to feel like that. Not after all the heartbreak you faced."

"What if Abhay hurts me unknowingly?" her throat closed up. "What will I do?"

"Are you only worried about him hurting you?" he said. "Anyone might hurt you unknowingly, Sona."

"Not when it comes to love," she sniffed. "If I decide I will give him a chance and then I get hurt just like before, when its not even his fault and he's not even there with me, how will I live through that again?"

"You should talk to him," he said.

"It's not easy," she said. "I act like all the heartbreak doesn't bother, to an extend it doesn't but it scarred me, Papa."

He smiled at her sadly. "I know, paari."

"And mummy thinks everything is so simple," her voice cracked. "She wants me to marry Abhay. But how can I? All these years I thought I wasn't good enough, Papa. That I lacked so many things and that is why I was rejected. And to be with him again, somewhere I still feel that. With Abhay, I always feel like I need to be a little more. Even if he actually didn't reject me, the circumstance made me feel all this. And that scared me. And then you tell me he actually never rejected me, how can my feelings take a 180 at once?"

"Do you feel you need to be a little more with Aksith?"

"Not really," she bit on her lower lip. "Aksith was there to erase my self doubt about myself. He never made me feel like I was not good enough for anything. He never made me think bad about myself. Whenever I did, he would scold me nonstop. He was always my support."

"Now tell me," he said. "What is the problem, Sona? What is the thing that is bringing you down?"

"I-I. . . ." her throat was in a knot, she tried to swallow her cry. "Papa, I feel scared to love him again. Should I not feel that? Abhay is trying his best, but-t—"

"As I said before," he sighed. "You should talk it out."

"I'll try," she bit her lower lip. "But I am so confused about Aksith too. Papa, I can easily imagine my life with him, I can imagine myself getting married to him and everything. I don't mind loving him a lot, but I never allowed myself to do that because he never gave me the right signal."

"I believe Aksith would never hurt you," he said. "That is because I've seen him around you for years, he's always been with you at your lowest and you've always been with him at his."

"I-I know," she stuttered. "He would never hurt me intentionally either, and I've liked him for quiet sometime too but now Abhay says he likes me too when I fighting all these feeling. I just want a break, Papa."

"You don't have to choose someone now, Sona," he said. "Loving someone is harder than being loved and even if people are showering you with love, you need to learn and find who is that you are willing to get hurt over to love them."

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"Shreyash is quiet serious about us," Tarni said for the nth time.

Sona who was stuffing her face with unhealthy amount of chips paused her munching and then started eating again. Her best friend seemed to have changed, have this glow on her face. Sona wasn't sure if it was after-sex-glow or in-love-glow, she only prayed it wasn't i-am-pregnant-glow.

"He talks about marriage and everything now. . . . ." she trailed off, her tone sounding a little anxious. "I don't think I am ready for that."

"But you said you were happy that he was serious about you," Sona mumbled, her eyes glued on the TV. Kissing Booth 3 was just released today and she was half-immersed in it and half-lost in herself.

"That's different Sona. . . ." Tarni spoke seriously. "Being serious about a relationship and being serious about marriage."

Sona stopped eating, she picked up the remote and paused the movie, turning towards Tarni. "How is that different? Even if you are serious about a relationship, the end goal is marriage, is it not?"

"Fuck marriage!" she cursed, "Dating and marrying someone is so different, Sona. It might sound so simple, that you will just live together, that you will just be called husband and wife now. No! It's so complicated than that! That is exactly why Shakira still hasn't gotten married! Sona, when it comes to labelling someone in any relationship you start expecting more and when they don't reach your expectations you start thinking that maybe you shouldn't have gotten so close."

She pursed her lips, letting her words drain her. Labelling relationships? Is that why Aksith never took anything further? Because he didn't want to go through the roller coaster of expectations. Is that why even though she saw him as a potential suitor she still called him her best friend?

"Our parents just keep marriage in mind," she said instead.

"Yeah, yeah," Tarni nodded. "But Sona, it doesn't have to be that, na? If you see Abhay as your future husband and then as your boyfriend, tell me how much everything changes?"

Her eyes widened, she had never thought of that. "I have just seen him as someone who broke my heart."

Tarni's lips parted. "Do you not love him anymore?"

"No," she shook her head, frustrated with herself. "Tarni, when it used to come to Abhay he was the most special person to me. And then after everything, he didn't even reject me but I never got to know that. But that doesn't change everything I felt did it?"

"You never talked to me about him," she said. "And I knew it was because he was my brother. But Sona, just look at me as your best friend now and tell me everything. He likes you, doesn't he?"

"Yeah."

"And you don't?"

"I don't know," she said. "Tarni, I loved him too much before, when he didn't love me. Only after I wrote him a love letter did he realise that he loved me too. But I never got it and he sent it to me now. Reading that did make me heart flutter, it made me feel happy but-t, now my heart still just sees him as someone who had hurt me."

Tarni stayed silent, holding her hand and squeezing it in comfort. "You should see Abhay as the same person who played with you when you were young, who cried when you were in the hospital. I think you are seeing the bad things only, think of all the times when he took care of you too, huh? Then you listen to what your heart wants."

Sona felt her head was paining. Abhay. Abhay. Abhay. Was loving you a mistake? Why don't you comfort me? Can't you comfort me anymore, just like I can't?

"You should also talk to Aksith," she said. "You are also running away from him, aren't you?"

Tarni closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes, I know. I fucking know," she sighed.

"I asked him," she admitted, feeling a little guilty. "I asked him if he still loved you. He said he didn't."

"He doesn't?" she blinked. "T-That's good then!"

"You should talk to him, Tarni," Sona shook her head. "Aksith is my best friend just as you are. I don't want both of you to be hurt. If you never talk to him about it he wouldn't have any closure."

"Aksith has always been more of your best friend than mine," she said. "More of yours than mine."

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Sona was in an unfamiliar place but as she looked around she didn't find any familiar face. Abhay had just texted her that the publishing process was almost over when she was on her way to Aksith's house.

She texted him back, trying to sound like how she normally would. She also added a smiley emoji, just to add to her civil behaviour.

"Sona!"

From the other end of the corridor she saw Aksith wave his hand out of the door, she waved back with a smile as she walked towards him.

"Hey, Aksith," she peaked inside, her eyes momentarily widening as she saw he was just wearing a singlet and a pair of jogger. Compared to him she looked like she was going on a date in her knee length flowy dress.

"You are late," he closed the door behind her.

Sona snorted, bending down to unclasp the strap of her sandal as he leaned on the door with his arms crossed. "So much traffic, okay?"

"I clearly saw you also getting confused with the house number," he clicked his tongue. "Did you forget that you helped me choose this apartment?"

Sona blushed in embarrassment, all the stress was sure making her forgetful. "I brought ice cream, okay?"

"Mint choco chip?"

"Yes, yes!"

Soon both of them were sitting on the couch, after Sona had a tour of his house and repented him for having uncleaned dishes she started washing it for him but he pulled her away by asking her to help him with his work.

"So it's an online platform?" she looked through the business idea.

"Yes, my dear Sona," he smiled with an eye roll. "That is the main feature of the business."

The next hour was spent in reviewing his business idea, he said he was going to present it at some workshop. Sona helped him as much as she could, though in the end she did suggest him to ask Abhay's opinion too.

"He already started his business," she said. "He has hand on experience."

"Hmm," Aksith filed the papers together.

"I'll get the ice cream!" Sona jumped up from the couch and trotted to the kitchen.

"Don't you dare wash the dishes!" he yelled after her.

When she came back with two bowl of mint choco, Aksith had already put Kissing Booth 3 on the TV.

"You like this stuff?" she giggled as she took a spoon full of ice cream.

"No," he said. "You like stuff like that."

"I already watched it with Tarni," she snorted. "Let's just see something you like."

"I don't know," he tossed her the remote and it almost hit her brutally. "Sorry!"

"Let's not watch anything," she concluded and switched the TV off.

For the next minute the only sound that was produced was of the spoons clinking against the bowl. Aksith finished his ice cream fast while Sona decide to take her own sweet time.

"You should burn scented candles," she spoke with a mouthful. "Or incense. It will make the atmosphere better."

"As you say," he flashed her a smile as he leaned back, his muscles flexing and open on display. She blushed slightly and went back to her bowl.

"You really don't want to watch a movie?" he asked.

"No," she mumbled, crossing her legs as she turned towards him. "Let's talk."

"Talk?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, about my problems," she pointed at herself seriously. "Abhay likes me."

"He likes you," he repeated with a nod. "Is that a problem?"

"Kind of!" she said, a little irked. "Aksith, after the heartbreak I feel scared to love him again."

His features changed, he looked sadly at her as he took her hand. "I am sorry."

She clicked her tongue. "No! I-I need to talk to him so give me a pep talk."

"Don't get all worried, huh?" he squeezed her hand. "Sona, you need to take a break from all this. You need to not worry for sometime. Now, he isn't the only guy in the world, is he? There are many fish in the sea."

Sona bit her lip as she looked at his face. "Uhuh."

"Why do you think now is the time you need to sort out your feelings as soon as possible?" he asked. "I know, that is what you will do like every time. You feel the need to solve the problem before you know what the problem is."

"Hey!" she looked offended at being called out. "And you always hide your real emotions!"

He blinked at her. "No lies there."

"What about your love life?" her dress was riding up and she tugged it down her thigh. "No girlfriend, seriously?"

"So what?" he snorted. "I've had my fair share of relationships, even if they weren't serious."

"What?!" she said shocked.

"I never introduced anyone of them to you," he muttered guiltily. "Because they weren't serious, okay? Friends with benefits stuff. Don't look down on me now, okay?"

"I won't!" she said, still bewildered that Aksith was in relationships before, she felt more convinced that he didn't like Tarni now. "So you had your first kiss before?"

He laughed, her words amusing him. "Is that what you are worried about? Why? Kissing Tarni was not nice?"

"Yes! Yes!" there was fire in her eyes. "I want a better first kiss, okay?"

He bit his lips, his amber eyes on her lips for a fleeting second as they moved back to her brown eyes. "Uhuh."

She bit her lip ."Aksith?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think dating and marriage is different?"

"Yes," he nodded, throwing his bare arm over her shoulder. She moved closer to him and snuggled by his side.

"I-If you get a girlfriend now," she asked, "Will it just be for marriage or dating?"

"That depends on the girl," he said.

She glared at him, "How does that depend on the girl? It clearly depends on your feelings for the girl!"

"Ahh!" he chuckled. "Yeah, if you put it that way. . . . "

"You know my dad is always playing cupid with us?" If she would've laughed it would sound like she was being chill about it but her voice was very solemn.

"Yeah," he drew circles over her knee.

"Does that bother you?" she sucked in a breathe.

"No," he sounded truthful. "No, it doesn't."

She looked at him and raised her eyebrows, he looked at her too with the same expression. When she continued giving him the stare he sighed.

"Why that look Sona?" he laughed. "I will think you want me to marry you."

"So what if I do?" she scoffed, feeling angry. "You've been my best friend, na? Is there something wrong in that?"

His laughter seized, he looked at her seriously now.

"Think about it," she felt shy now as she detached herself from him. "Just think about it, okay?"

For her heart was ready to give itself to Aksith more than to Abhay. Because Aksith hadn't hurt her like Abhay had.

you guys might hate me but trust me it gets better.

i hope the story is getting interesting :))

i also hope i don't have to explain you sona's actions, if you are confused so is she. but i feel she was very confident to tell aksith her feelings (indirectly), at least she wouldn't regret it in the future. also with abhay, she is still scared of getting her heartbroken.

do follow me for and also my sis is handling that acc coz i want to be off insta but i thought as a business student that the climax of the story is the best time to make an insta so i can gain followers hahahha