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Sona had cried the whole day. But she didn't know if they were tears of sadness or joy, or of relief or pain. She didn't know. All she knew was Abhay was beside her, holding her. She didn't know her heart had ached so much, not until she let it out loud. He hadn't questioned her or asked her to talk, he just stayed quiet. If it wasn't for his arms she would've thought he wasn't there with her.

Now she was sitting in front of Aksith and Tarni, her eyes still swollen.

"Uhuh-uhuh," Aksith fake coughed to get her attention. "Why do you look like a panda?"

"I don't," she groaned as she pressed her hand on her head. Her hair was all messed up too, she definitely looked she had woken up, which she had. 

"Did the date with bhai go bad?" Tarni cringed, she wasn't wearing that ring anymore. Also she seemed very cool with her and her brother, which was something Sona didn't expect. But she didn't question it either, since years she had drifted apart from Abhay, she wasn't as protective as she was before.

"Not. . . i-it's," she stuttered as she hide her face in her hands. "I-It's complicated."

"Yeah?" Tarni raised an eyebrow in question.

"I-I don't want to get married," Sona said. 

"Now or forever?" she widened her eyes. "Sona? Do you want to say something to us?"

"Huh?" she made a confused noise.

"You went on a date with Abhay?" Aksith asked, his tone filled with disapproval. "It was your mom, wasn't it?"

"Yes!" she cried out, feeling relived that at least he understood her. He smiled at her, patting her head like she was a dog.

"It's okay, you're okay."

"I am not!" she didn't care that he was treating her like a pet right now, her eyes moved towards Tarni and back and Aksith but the former acted oblivious. Sona rolled her eyes and turned towards him, taking his hand in hers out of habit.

"I have a question," she spoke solemnly.

"Uhuh," he raised his eyebrows with a small smile.

"You know about the Churel Tarni fiasco?" she said which earned a very offended look from the said woman. Tarni opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it, when Aksith gave her an amused look she looked away.

"Yes, very much so," his voice was laced with humour. "I have heard everything about your to-be-sex-god-doctor-husband."

"Sona!" her mouth was agape with her voice filled with accusation. Sona smiled guilty but looked back at Aksith.

"You also know how I talked her out of it?"

"Yes, my dear Sona," he nodded, still smiling with amusement, his amber eyes sparkled with the same emotion.

"So . . . . " she drawled giving Tarni a look who was looking at her acrylic nails instead. "So . . . she still hasn't told me why she did something like that."

To this he frowned slightly. "Is it not clear? She clearly needs therapy from all the heartbreaks she has had."

"Aksith you piece of Aquarius!" she gritted her teeth as she threw a fry at him, it hit him on his forehead and tumbled into his lap. Not caring of her anger he picked it up and popped the fry in his mouth with a grin.

Sona stiffened her laugh with her palm, but one the serious note she did wonder if all her heartbreaks still hurt Tarni. She looked in between her two friends again, maybe that was why she didn't say yes to Aksith. Because she knew they wouldn't last. Because she didn't want to ruin their friendship. Just like Sona didn't want to.

But as she looked at them bickering she smiled sadly, they did look good together did they not?

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Sona was in a very confused state of mind for the whole week. She didn't understand at 25 why was her love life like that of a teen's. Scared of ruining friendships? They were 25, after all weren't they? Why should they be scared of that? They were adults and mature. Why was something like friendship scaring them for venturing their feelings deeper?

But the fact that Aksith still liked Tarni stung her, just a little and she felt like a bad friend for feeling that way. If he really did like her, why wasn't he doing anything? Why was he sitting and just watching her go on dates? Was it because he knew that in the end, it was him she would come too?

Tarni and Aksith had a very funny banter, they would tease each other, but Sona and him were the same, too. In fact all of them would tease each other to no end, hardly did they have deep conversations about life and death.

Sona wondered how hard it was for Aksith, how could he still love her after she rejected him? That too, to his face. Sona couldn't even bear the rejection she had supposedly gotten from Abhay indirectly.

But he didn't reject her, he said. He wrote back but the letter didn't reach her.

Was the universe trying to tell her that their destiny was not together?

She picked on the sleeve of her sweater as she drowned in her own thoughts, it was raining again and as drops slapped on the car window, rolling like tears on the glass, Sona wondered too many things she should probably not have. Because everything was giving her a headache.

If Aksith liked her or Tarni he would have done something, wouldn't he? She didn't know why but the tiny percent of her heart wanted him to not like her best friend. And maybe, just maybe like her. Just a little bit. But who was she kidding? She would get greedy and greedy.

"Which land are you lost in today?" Aksith asked from the driver's seat as he changed gears.

She pursed her lips and looked away. "Aksith?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you think of me getting married to Abhay?"

He laughed. "You said you weren't going to marry him, why are you asking me this?"

"You believe in me so much?"

That made him snap his head towards her, a questioning look on his face. "Of course, I believe you. You told me you didn't love him anymore, after he rejected you."

She took a deep breathe. "He didn't reject me."

"Oh," he looked a little dumbfounded.

"Oh?" she pronounced with an edgy tone. "That's all you got to say?"

"Is that changing your feelings for him now?" he asked straightforwardly as he looked back at the road.

"He said he wrote me back but I never got the letter, Aksith!" she said, a little hysterically. "He wrote back, that means he liked me too!"

"Liked you," he pointed out.

"No! No!" she shook her head. "He told he he still liked me, loved me."

His fingers which were previously drumming against the steering wheel stopped, he took a deep breath but didn't say anything. It made Sona a little mad. He didn't really care did he?

"I don't. . . . ." she mumbled. "I want to get married to someone I know," her words were clear homonyms in disguise.

"Yeah," was all he said.

Sona glared at him, were all guys dumb or just the ones in her life had earned a Harvard degree in it?

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Sona was very much fuelled up after Aksith dropped her off to Abhay's company. She banged the car door rather loudly and Aksith had just joked that she should be careful that Abhay didn't take the rights of her book just because they were written for him. She almost punched him in the face but his smile melted her into a puddle.

How could she even be mad at him? He helped her when she needed it the most, especially when Tarni couldn't. When it came to her unrequited love with Abhay, he was always there to give her his shoulder. She wondered if she had used him too much, he never openly spoke of his feelings about Tarni. Now that she thought about it, how much ever they were close, they also weren't.

"You're here."

"Yeah," Sona tucked her hair behind her ear as she slipped inside his office, closing the door behind.

Abhay stopped playing with the paperweight and pulled out a file. Instead of passing it to her he stood up and walked towards her, pressing the intercom in the process.

"Please bring in two cups of tea."

Sona placed her purse in her lap as she sat down and surprising to her Abhay sat beside her, instead of sitting in front. He rotated his laptop and set it right in front of her.

"I was just going through your draft," he said as he scrolled through the screen. "Take a look."

"Y-Yeah," she mumbled, not really focusing on anything. 

He hummed, leaning back in his seat, staring at her the whole time. She felt goose bumps rising on her skin.

She tried concentration and even after she scrolled through the whole draft the only thing she noticed was that one poem was missing. 

"You removed a poem?" she meekly asked.

"Yeah," he frowned. 

"B-But," she looked into his dark eyes, "Why?"

"It's too close to my heart," he pursed his lips as he held her stare. "But I will have it back in the next draft, I realised I misused my power."

"Please do," she nodded. He didn't look thrilled but he didn't try to make her change her mind. After all even if she had written the poem for him, it was hers first. 

Just then his secretary knocked on the door and came in, serving the two cups of tea. Sona took hers and immediately warmed her hands, taking a tiny sip as the rain danced in the background.

"Sorry, Sona," he sighed as he rubbed his aching temple. "I will add it right away."

"Yeah."

"I let my personal feelings come in business."

"Uhuh," she nodded, unblinking. She thought of his words again as her face turned red. What personal feelings? What was he saying? 

"Sona," he said her name again and her hold around the cup tightened. "Sona?"

"Y-Yeah?" she wanted to yell at him to not say her name ever again.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes," she touched her eyes, did she still look like a panda?!

"You are moving your leg a lot," he pointed out and then did she realise she had been moving her leg restlessly up and down.

"Sona."

Oh my god, she thought, I really want to kill him, can he stop saying my name so much?

"I love you, Sona."

She jerked her neck towards him, her hands shaking as a layer of bewilderment coated her face. He gave her a very small smile and she almost fell of the chair.

 "W-What?"

He didn't repeat himself, his face resting in his palm as he leaned towards her. "I wanted to tell you about my past relationships."

She didn't even know what to say anymore. What was he doing? Why was he acting like he was something to her?

"Actually," his fingers drummed over the file as he sat a little straight. "When you sent me the letter. . . . I was dating someone."

"What? Who?" she asked rapidly, not believing his words. She would have known! She would have! She looked at him too much to not know which girls he talked too. She felt embarrassed suddenly, he liked someone else that time? Did he break up with her just because of her then? A sudden uneasiness set inside her chest. Did she confess to a person who was already in a relationship?

"You don't have to worry," he obviously was familiar with her changing mood. "I— We never made it public and. . . ummm, it was very complicated and. . . . "

Sona saw him hesitate for the first time and she spoke unconsciously. "Y-You don't have to tell me."

He looked here and there but not into her eyes as he clasped her hand in both of his, holding it tightly. "I-I want to tell it to someone."

She heard the urgency and sadness in his tone and it made her gut churn. He almost seemed to be asking for help. She wondered if his relationship was so bad that it affected him to such an extend.

"Okay," she didn't let go of his hand as she frowned at it.

"Sona, I am bi."

Her eyes widened yet again and she was left speechless. She looked into his dark eyes, his perfectly shaped lips and how truth tumbled out of them. Her heartbeat increased as she unconsciously squeezed his hand.

"Dev and I dated," he pursed his lips.

Sona did almost fell of the chair but his hand holding hers didn't let her butt experience a fall. Her legs were weak and he instantly stood up and pulled her towards him, making her tumble into his arms.

"I never told it to anyone else."

His face was so close and her mind was getting blurred, and soon all she could see was his lips moving. She gulped, her arms awkwardly pressed against his chest.

"W-When I answered your letter," he said, moving away from her. "I was in US, it took me a lot of courage to write back to you, Sona."

"Dev and I had already broken up."

"He was your best friend!" she spluttered out.

"Yes," he gave a sad smile. "I guess our relationship ruined our friendship, we aren't friends anymore."

"What happened?" her eyebrows furrowed at his expression.

"He didn't like the girls behind me, I didn't like him trying to always keep our relationship a secret." He laughed, as if it was something amusing. "Now that I think about it, we both were wrong. I couldn't force him to come out and neither could he always be jealous."

"You are bisexual," she stated with a solemn look.

"Does that bother you?" he bit his lip.

Honestly she didn't know. "I-I — Why would it bother me? It's not like we are getting married!" she changed her words quickly and spoke in a righteous tone.

He smiled at her again and this time she didn't understand what he was trying to convey. As they look at each other he broke into laughter.

"If you want you can reject me directly, Sona," he titled his head to the side as he increased the distance between them. "I don't mind getting hurt by that."

Her mouth opened and closed. "What?"

"I don't mind, Sona," he moved towards the desk. "You can hurt me, I don't mind getting hurt by you."

Their eyes locked and she felt her heart was going to burst open. He slid a letter against the desk, a smile still playing on his lips.

"Write me back even if your answer is negative, okay?"

lets have a discussion about what is better? broccoli or spicy hot panner? btw, who is broccoli and who is the panner? you decide⇒

Also if you had another wtf moment, pls comment here and i shall console you⇒

also you guys never told me if you liked the new cover(s)🥺🥺🥺