════ ⋆★⋆ ════

His back was shadowed as he stared out of the window, brooding with a frown on his face. She on the other hand was tucked in bed, a thick blanket wrapped around her as she watched him. She was suppose to be sleeping, but how could she when he was in the same room as her?

"Go to sleep, Sona," Abhay gravelled. Sona's eyes widened as she clenched her fingers around the blanket.

"Abhay. . . . " she called out softly, almost scared that he would shout at her again.

He didn't move an inch but bent his head low as he stared out of the window, watching the snowfall. It had started snowing when they were going back to the hotel, feather like white snow had caught up in their hair and clothes. And when they had reached the room had he set her down, dusting the snow off and demanding for the room key.

Sona made a move to get up and that is when he turned around, his dark eyes narrowed into a clear signal that she shouldn't be getting up.

". . . . Don't be angry," she mumbled, in the quiet room he could hear her.

"Then should I be happy, Sona?" his voice was hoarse, he still wasn't looking at her. "Tell me Sona, what should I feel then?"

"I am sorry," her eyes prickled as her bit her lower lip to swallow her cry. He sounded scared and sad, she had never seen him like this. Maybe it would be better if he yelled at her instead, then maybe it wouldn't hurt her as much as his placate behaviour was hurting her now.

She heard shuffling but she didn't lift her head up, his finger hooked her chin as he lifted her face. She couldn't decipher his eyes, they were filled with unsaid emotion. His lips curled up slowly, into a bitter smile. "Why do you want my nightmares to come to life, Sona?"

"Abhay. . . ." she was confused, she didn't understand.

"You'll always be the naughty girl who will follow me around, wouldn't you?" he smiled almost sadly.

She gulped, her brown eyes wide as they stared into his dark ones. He was speaking gibberish, what was he saying? She didn't understand him.

"Do you know?" his voice cracked, his eyes were reddening again. "What would happen if you died today, Sona?"

She blinked the wetness away from her eyes, her heart was thundering so loudly that it made her feel uncomfortable, like it wanted to burst out of her chest and go to it's rightful owner. To him.

"What would happen to your parents? To your friends? To Tarni? To me?" he asked. "All because of some harmless fun."

His fingers increased the pressure on her chin, he was sitting next to her on the bed and that close proximity was eating her up. Talking to him like this was eating her up.

"I will never trust you with anyone else, Sona," he said it so softly that she couldn't hear him. "I would never trust anyone to take care of you properly. But I don't trust myself either."

"I don't want anyone to take care of me. . . . . " she sniffed, rubbing her eyes, her voice was cracking. "I-I always feel like I am a burden. People look at me with pity, just like you do. I can't run around anyone like before, because the asthma got severe. I can't dance or have fun like any normal teenager. I can't even stay in this cold but I still push myself to prove everyone wrong. It doesn't work! It doesn't work! How much ever I try nothing works! How long should I lean onto someone, huh?"

In her end her voice had gone up notches, filled with futile anger. Silent tears streamed down her face but she didn't look at him.

"Sona," he cupped her face, his dark gaze mesmerising her. "Sona, Sona," he rested his forehead against. "I don't pity you."

"You do," her throat clogged up as her eyes moved away from his face.

"I would never," he wiped her tears as he gazed at her tenderly. "Pity is for people who are unhappy. Sona, you'd never been unhappy for long even if asthma got the best of you, you still find your own happiness. Why would I pity you?"

She didn't speak but pursed her lips, his dark hair was pressed against her forehead, it was tickling her heart that still wanted to burst open.

"Sona."

Why did he say her name like that? So sweetly.

"I thought I was going to lose you, Sona, just like that day 5 years ago."

🦋🦋🦋

The wind was harsh as the snow fell in the land of cold and white, Sona didn't find a symbol of warmth as she walked around the garden of the hotel. Everyone was probably inside while some of the people were having snowball fights. Sona looked at her collegemates, they all looked happy expect herself.

Abhay had left after he said those words to her. He told her to sleep and take care of herself and also told her that if she wanted to go around she would call him, too. He was acting like a bodyguard, not a guy who was in love with her.

Sona stomped down on the snow, crunching it. But she was in love with him.

She remembered that day, it was clear in her mind. It was the first time she had had a severe asthma attack. She shook her head, she didn't want to think of that day. She had just touched death and come back. Her feet moved in the snow, making a asymmetric heart.

Then she stomped on it.

What was love good for?

It was hurting her, more than she wanted to admit it herself. When they sat so close to each other, almost in each other's arms, their thoughts were completely different. He wasn't thinking of kissing her like she did, he wasn't thinking of saying those 3 words like she did, he wasn't thinking of her heart, like she was thinking of his.

He didn't look at her the way she did.

Sona bit on her tongue, she didn't want to cry again, her eyes were already swollen enough. She didn't want to cry for Abhay anymore, he was hurting her by taking care of her like that. Like he was a brother to her.

She was still walking around the garden, suddenly it felt so empty as everything green was painted white. Stark white and nothing else.

In the emptiness though she heard a melody and unknowingly her legs followed her there. It was inviting her.

"When I see the sky I search for the moon only to realise that it is another day. . . . ." someone sang.

Sona looked at the boy's head, it was Aksith, sitting on a log as he held a guitar. His fingers strummed through the chords softly as he sang.

"The sun is shinning, gleaming, sparkling, but the light doesn't touch me. I am dull as I was yesterday."

He didn't hear her footsteps as she stood close to him, almost in a trance like state as she heard the lyrics.

"But you aren't here with me, you can't be. But you aren't here with me, you can't be."

"And when I look at the moon I'll be looking at you."

"I'll be looking at you."

Sona smiled sadly, "And even if there's no star in the sky."

Her singing startled him, he stopped playing and turned around, his amber eyes alarmed.

"And even if there's no moon to shine."

He grinned, though his eyes said otherwise. He faced her, lifting his leg to the other side of the log as he set his guitar in place and continued playing it.

"I'll shine for you, I'll be your moon, in the darkest of time."

"I am sorry Sona," he said, titling his face downward as he didn't meet her eyes, "I didn't know your asthma was so severe. Y-You almost died and it's my fault—"

Sona's smile flattered. "It's not your fault. Don't worry about it."

She felt her chest heaving. Now even Aksith would treat her like Abhay, wouldn't he? Like she was some broken piece of glass that had to be dealt with carefully? Now, even he would stop joking around with her just like him, and soon he would stop talking with her too.

Her eyes reddened again. She hated it when people acted that way with her. She hated it. It made her feel they just wanted to be friends to keep her safe or something and not because they actually liked her as a person.

Was asthma the only label to her personality? She was much more than that. Why didn't people see?

"Next time. . . . " she was just about to walk away when he spoke again. "Next time no crowded places, we can go back to the ring again when there are few people if you want."

Sona's eyes widened as she stared at him.

"What?" Aksith grew flushed under her eyes.

"Y-You," she stuttered but stopped speaking. She hadn't expected such an answer, she thought he would say he will never take her there or anywhere that was closely dangerous to her. She thought he would keep repeating that it was his fault but he didn't.

She smiled at him and without a warning jumped into his arms. Aksith grew rigid as her body coiled into his, he set his guitar by the log and, wrapping his arms around her.

"Are you going to cry now?"

"Shut up!" she hit his head.

He smiled at her and unexpectedly kissed her head. Sona blinked and looked into his amber eyes.

"Don't scare me ever again, Sona."

🦋🦋🦋

"FUCK YOU SONA!"

Tarni hit her repeatedly when she went back to the hotel room. Her eyes were narrowed into a glare as she hit her wherever she could but slowly her anger melted into tears.

"Y-You scared me so much, Sona," her best friend bawled out as she clutched on her. "I-I was wearing skates I couldn't be do a-anything then I got so angry and threw them away but bhai saw us already."

"Sorry, Tarni," Sona hugged her, resting her chin on her shoulder as she looked at the window. Abhay was there a few hours ago.

"B-Bhai scolded you a lot, didn't he?" she shook her shoulders with teary eyes. "Did he say he will tell your parents?!"

She shook her head, "H-He didn't scold me."

"He didn't?"' she exclaimed, clearly shocked.

"I wish he did," Sona said sadly, "It made me feel more bad."

Tarni opened and closed her mouth, clearing not expecting that her brother was capable of something other than showing his anger.

"Did he scold you?" Sona winced.

"He did," Tarni rolled her eyes like it was no big deal. "Let him bark all he wants he won't bite for sure. Only papa can ground me or take my pocket money and you know me and papa go a long way."

Sona giggled but her mood turned sour again. "He did say anything to Aksith?"

"I wouldn't know," she shook her head.

Sona frowned, clasping her hands together. "Tarni it was my fault—"

"Sona, it wasn't your fault," Tarni consoled her, "It was that blasted fucker who pushed you and walked away. I should have gotten a better look at his face I would fucking kill him—"

"Okay, Tarni," Sona cut her off with a laugh. "Let's forget about it, huh?"

"Let's watch a movie," she pulled her to the bed and opened her laptop.

Sona smiled at her best friend, she was the only one who didn't make her feel like she always needed protection or saving. Or who treated her differently. Tarni always made her feel like a normal teenager. She didn't talk about her asthma incessantly, or constantly worry about her. Even if she did, she never showed it.

And maybe that was why she was her best friend.

She understood her when she didn't understand herself. Maybe Aksith was the same, too.

HAHAHHA TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT ABHAY LIKED SONA

i feel evil

But i get it, love can be misunderstood; platonic love for romantic love.

anyways, this chp was about her asthma only hence its kind of small too

but guys i have something to confess, too, I kind cried writing her interaction with Abhay. Do you have anything to confess?

Also guys don't be a silent reader, do vote and comment it motivates me to write more🥺🥺