I don't know if I can hate him.

I want to

I really want to

I want to hate him because he made me hate myself

I want to hate him because he hated me

I want to hate him because he acts like my childhood didn't happen

He acts like the things he did

That were questionable

Didn't happen

He wants to forget

But I can't fucking forget

He didn't have a childhood ruined

He didn't have to deal with the shit he did and said to me

He acts like half of my childhood wasn't ruined by him

I spent most of my time with him

He was the only one to influence me

He fucking ruined me

He had to of

Because if he didn't

Then who did

Who ruined me and my childhood

Who hurt me to the point that I can't look at myself and be happy

To the point where I'm not normal

To the point where I hate me

Who did that

I want to know

I want to fucking know

Because I can't stand this

I can't stand any of this

My family

Myself

Living in general

Everything is so hard

Life is hard

I hate this feeling

And I desperately want to hate him.