TW!Implied Self-Harm

You thought you getting better

You tried you really did

You lasted a year

But then it got bad again

You went back to the year you wished to forget

The year of long sleeves and silences

The year of “I'm okay”s and “yes, I'm fine”s

God, you just wanted it to stop

For them to stop

For the pain to stop

So you went back to your old methods

A pencil shaper sits innocently in your room

The blade is half unscrewed

The lock on your bathroom door became more useful

Shower became painful

And your hips became bloody

You hate it

You really do

You don’t want to feel like this

You don’t want to hurt

But for just a second

One singular second

When that blade brushes skin

You don’t hurt for that one second

You don’t feel pain for that one second

You are better for that one second