[Author's Note]- Dedication above because she made me this lovely cover.

Chapter Sixty Two- Dealing, Settling, Accepting

The summer breeze danced through my hair. I had welcomed the heat after the bitter cold winter, nearly smiling at the feel of wind rushing, through the car window, against the side of my face.

I turned smoothly on the gravel road and through the familiar lane that had a forest encasing its beauty. Slowly swiveling around the far tree on the right; I found the old light blue splattered house. With numbly putting the car in park, I climbed out.

Hearing the cracking ground, as my feet swiftly brushed against it, walking up the porch. I sighed, dreading what was going to happen; what had happened, as I opened the screen door receiving a defining erk from its hinges.

Tom had come home to the four of us tangled in a very intense game of twister. He nearly scared Dan shitless as he poked him in his side causing Dan to squeal and make us all tumble to the ground.

I was glad to have Tom home, not exactly noticing how much that I had actually missed him until I felt his skin against mine.

Nothing over the next week had been exciting though. I never did find out where Tom had gone, or why he had gone there, but soon let the subject drop since he seemed to be happy to be by my side, therefore it didn't matter anymore. Emma and Rupert parted from the house and hadn't returned since. Now that a normal routine was starting to occur, I began cleaning, reading, watching the news, grocery shopping, really anything that kept my mind off of things. That is why I had gone out for a run.

It felt incredible running around the local park after not being in my jogging shoes for months. This seemed to give me exactly what I needed, freedom. I felt free to breathe without having to wonder if the phone would ring and I would receive the call I had been waiting for. Anxiousness evaporated from my body as sweat poured down the side of my face, this causing my feet to pump faster against the earth than they would have usually, my self conscious mind loving the relaxed tension.

The numbness returned as I realized I had run for over an hour and a half. Walking slowly back to the house I felt gross, only wanting to take a shower, eat something, and sleep.

I opened the unlocked front door and closed it behind me, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.

Relishing in the refreshing water, I didn't hear when both Tom and Dan walked into the room. I turned around smiling, still joyful after my hour and a half to myself. Though I could still see their sorrow filled expressions through the dark kitchen that was only lit by the setting sun through the windows.

"What happened?" I asked after a moment, already having a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I didn't need to ask this question to prove that my thoughts were correct.

Tom looked down, shifting from side to side rubbing the back of his neck before he finally met my gaze. "Clayton Called"...

"I'll go with you" Tom said as I began to pack a bag for home.

I smiled at him. He was so lost on what to do right now. You could see it in the way he was around me, he tensed up and kept a look of sympathy in his eyes as if trying to comfort me yet not knowing how to do so.

I shook my head "I really appreciate that, but I want to do this without you..." I sighed walking back into our closet. "It's going to be a small ceremony anyway"

He stared out the window for a moment, debating whether or not to say something. I frowned at his unusual action but continued rummaging through one of the wooden desk drawers in search for my phone charger.

"Do you know when you'll be back?" He asked.

I shrugged "Carson and C-" I took a deep breath "Carson, Clayton and I have papers and wills to search through and discuss, then there is the funeral, and such...I don't know maybe a few days, a week?"

He nodded knowingly.I stuffed a black dress inside the bag and slowly zipped up the top.

"Are you okay...with all of this?" He asked reaching out for my hands and capturing them in his.

I nodded hesitantly "I'm dealing, settling, accepting"

He sat up on his knees, kissing my cheek and engulfing me in a hug. I sighed finding comfort in the crook of his neck.

I pursed my lips as I opened the door to be surrounded by the smell of pine wood and freshly mown grass. After placing my keys on the bed side table I walked in the kitchen to find Carson standing at the sink, staring out the window.

I stared at his un blinking mournful face for a moment before I turned to see what he was looking at.

Through the striped kitchen window, far in the grass between the house and the barn was Clay fighting with some tall man in a black suit. Without hearing the words spoken just by analyzing the way Clayton's mouth moved venomously did I understand that this was not a very business-like conversation, although what did I know about business conversations?

"He has been arguing with him for the past hour" Carson sighed.

I frowned and looked away from the display and hugged Carson from the side, resting my head on his shoulder. He didn't return the favor. That was the first sign that Carson wasn't taking this very well. It had been horrible when we told him about Mum.

"Why is Cassie in the hospital?" Carson asked. I was sitting in the emergency room with Clayton, while Dad was dealing with- specifics.

My arm had been broken, and we had just taken x-rays. I tried not to cry looking into my little brother's panicked eyes "Where is Mum?" he asked slowly.

Clay sighed looking down before kneeling in front of the nine year old. "Mum and Cassie got into a car accident...Mum..." He had tears running down his face by now "Mum died"

Carson always took death hard. He wouldn't talk for a few months after that night, always keeping to himself which isn't like Carson at all. When our grandmother died he wept for days, even though he had only met her twice.

I swallowed loudly "Carson...everything's okay" Those words were not true, but I hoped that they helped.

He nodded slowly after a moment.

All of a sudden the back door flew open revealing an anger consumed Clayton. His shoulders were hunched over and moved up and down with his ragged breathing. His eyes laid upon us and he softened into gush.

"Hey Cas" He spoke solemnly.

I half smiled "Hey Clay"

The next day we sat at the kitchen table with a man who had all this paper work and such. Clay had answered most of the questions without hesitation.

"What is happening to the house?" I asked at a moment of silence, as the two of them pondered over a piece of paper (Carson was taking a nap, since he was sick of hearing this).

"Your brother is keeping it" The man, whose name escapes me, said.

"What?" I asked Clay "You don't have to take over now" I told him the obvious.

"I know Cassie" He said not wanting to talk about the subject at hand.

"Then why are you keeping it? We could sell it, you could have a life! God knows when the last time you saw any of your friends or went out or-"

He looked at me incredulously "What else am I going to do Cas? This is what I was born into."

"Find something new to be good at" I suggested. I wanted my brother to have a life, find love and get married one day.

"Cassie" He said in a way to tell me to shut up.

"No" I said shaking my head.

He rubbed his forehead "This house is under my name now so you don't have a say in it!"

I huffed and pushed away from the table heading for my now darkened room.

"But I don't want him to be stuck here for the rest of his life" I sighed, lying on my stomach staring out at the dark sky through the curtains.

"I understand, but it's his choice Cas not yours. He doesn't know anything different" Tom coughed.

"Are you getting sick?" I asked

"No I'm fine, just a little cough"

I frowned a little "how is everything going over there?"

He chuckled "You've been gone three days it's not like we sprouted another head, nothing has changed"

"You say that now, but watch I'll walk in the door to find that Dan wants to suck my blood"

He laughed "Vampires don't exist"

"You know there is no proof that they don't"

"There is no proof that they do"

I shrugged "Okay, okay"

I could tell he was rolling his eyes.

"I feel like going swimming" I said after a moment.

"Then go swimming" he said sounding pre occupied.

I rolled my eyes "I don't have a bathing suit and the lake is far away, besides I have to leave in a minute"

"You could go skinny dipping" He replied seductively.

"Yeah you would love that"

"Mhmmm we should try it when you get back"

"Sure" I said picking at the quilt underneath me.

"Really?!"

I smiled and shook my head "Oh you bet baby" I rolled my eyes.

He stayed quit for a second "You know that's just mean to toy with someone's emotions"

I just laughed.

"Cassie!" I heard Clay holler from the front room.

"Coming!" I yelled back sitting up and patting down my black dress. "I have to go"

"Okay I love you" He said

I smiled "Love you too, I'll be home late tomorrow"

"Can't wait"

I blushed a little and hung up the phone.

I slipped on my high heels, looking into the mirrior while putting on my silver earrings and walked down the hallway, avoiding the picture frames on the walls.

"Ready" I said as I looked at Clay fixing Carson's tie.

He nodded "Let's go"

It was a small ceremony. Very small. A few business clients that I have known since I was little came and so did Will and his father.

"I'm so sorry" Will's father said coming to shake Clay's hand, Will behind him.

"Thank you" Clay said monotone. His expression was hard throughout the day.

Will nodded to me, and I pulled a half smile, he seemed to be nicer lately...not that it really changed anything.

The casket slowly lowered down into the ground, right next to Mum's, as the preacher finished his prayer "We know now that you are resting in heaven's light, as God welcomes you in. Our dearest Clare is leading you away from this world into the next. May you rest in an eternity of peace."

I swallowed hard closing my eyes, not able to see the end of another life.

That night I faced something that I should have faced years ago. No one had entered my Mother's closet since she past. All of her things were still in place never moved and never touched.Now all of her things were mine.I ran a hand through my hair as I nudged the door open, and turned on the light.

Undeniable tears started falling instantly. Her memory flooded all of my senses, drowning me, as if she was still here. I shook my head clearing it and searched through her clothes and jewelry and books, all of her worldly possessions, until I found a small box in the back under some spare hangers.

I opened it to find me. My baby clothes, baby shoes, birth certificate, a deflated balloon from the day I was born, and things from my childhood I had forgotten. My eye caught something unfamiliar though, a note.

My dearest Cassandra,

I hope that you never have to read this note, for this means that I have died. As you know my mother died when I was sixteen, and I wished that she had left me a note, so just in case the worst comes to be I have written you this.

Life is hard, especially when you are young and have yet to decide your path. Things come in our way that are hard to overcome. So is love, believe it or not, but I absolutely detested your father when we met, but it worked out perfectly and now I love him more than my own life. I don't want you to make my mistakes though, I do not want you to marry young and end up hating yourself for it. Do not misunderstand me I do not hate myself for marrying your father, when I was only twenty, but it was hard and I wish that we had waited. I always wanted to travel the world and see all of the amazing landscapes it had to offer. I want you to live your life to the fullest my daughter, for you never know when it will be gone.

I love you from here to the moon

I fell asleep with the note crinkled in my hand reading it over and over again.