I groan and turn uncomfortably. I open my eyes and let them adjust to the bright light coming through the windows. It takes me a minute to figure out where I am.

Vanessa's house.

And this would be the room where Evelyn usually stays in when she's here. That explains why I chose this room to crash. I look at my watch - it's six thirty three in the morning. Fairly early and I'm​ pretty sure Lee and Vanessa are still in bed.

You know what they say about make up sex.

I think about getting up but decide against it. Being here feels​ like being close to Lyn. It's like I can feel her. It isn't weird at all, I used to have this feeling all the time around her. Then I realise why I have​ that feeling when I see her dragging two suitcases into the room then hopping onto the bed.

Wait. What?

"Evelyn?" I whisper. She jumps at the sound of my voice. "Evelyn," I say, louder this time. Surer.

"Marcel. Uh...what....how... What are you doing here?" She stumbles over the words.

"I've been here since last night. Lee wanted to talk to Nessa about....some things and I thought I'd come along. Get out of the house," I explain.

"They needed to talk and you thought you should come along?"

The real reason I came along was because I'm a big part of what they needed to talk about. I should say that. Tell her why I want to meet with her. Tell her that I'm having a baby with another woman.

But I don't.

I can't.

Lee was so wrong. This isn't difficult in person.

It is freakin' impossible.

"Uh...yea. Lee needed me," I lie.

"Oh." She nods. She stands next to her bed with her arms wrapped around herself and I know immediately that I'm making her uncomfortable. How am I suppose to talk to her when she can't even stand being around me?

"Lyn-"

"Is Vanessa awake? I tried her cell all morning but...maybe I should go-" she interrupts.

"Lyn-"

"Doesn't Lee have work anyway? We should wake them and-"

"Lyn, please." I close the distance between us with two big steps. Standing this close to her- breathing her air- makes​ me pause for a minute. I hate seeing her like this- hugging herself like she's​ trying to hold herself together.

Like she's broken.

I slowly take one of her hands, expecting her to pull away but she doesn't. I take​ the other one and hold them in both my hands. "Lyn, look at me. Please?"

She hesitates but then her bright blue-grey eyes meet mine. It literally knocks the breath out of me. "Marcel, don't," she says as she pulls away. Hugging herself again.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't-" Her soft lips crash against mine suddenly, preventing me from finishing what I was about to say. Preventing me from thinking clearly.

I don't want to think clearly. I pull her by her waist, closer to me- as close as is possible. Her hands move to my neck, up to my hair. Our lips move in a familiar rhythm. A rhythm that is ours. One that I missed so badly that it can't be put into​ words. If I hadn't been so consumed by our kiss I would stop to pinch myself to check if this is real.

She clutches a lock of my hair in her hand and I let out a throaty moan. I can't help myself anymore. I slowly back her up against the bed and she let herself fall while pulling me down on top of her. This is unbelievable. But I can't think about anything else but her.

She's​ halfway through pulling my shirt off when the door opens.

"Marcel, you have to go-" Vanessa pauses as she takes in the scene before her. I'm on top of Lyn who has her legs wrapped around my waist. Normally, Nessa would be happy to see this but from the disappointed look on her face I know Lee told her everything. I suddenly feel even more ashamed of myself. Vanessa begins​ to speak again when I unwrap myself from Lyn. "Lyn. I didn't hear you come in," she starts.

"I know. I figured you were dead asleep since I called your cell phone with no luck. So I let myself In," Lyn says, getting up from the bed to hug her best friend. "You didn't tell me Marcel was gonna be here."

"I- He was suppose to leave. I'm sorry." There is so much hatred in her voice towards me. I can feel it.

"No. That's fine. He wanted to talk anyways," Lyn says turning to me. I freeze in place. The spotlight is on me and I'm​ ready for the show.

"Marcel? Are you alright?" Lyn asks worriedly, closing the space between us again. But Vanessa interrupts.

"I'm sure he's fine. Marcel, can I talk to you for a sec? Lyn, could you get the breakfast started? I restocked the kitchen." With a confused face Lyn agrees and goes downstairs. Now it's just me and Vanessa. She looks out the door to make sure Evelyn is out of earshot.

"Nessa, I know you're upset but just-" I begin.

"Just what? Hear you out? You got some other woman pregnant and now you're in my house trying to have sex with my best friend!" She half whispers, half shouts. I'm about to say something but she cuts​ me off immediately. "What is wrong with you? Marcel, you need to leave right now!"

"What? No, I have to tell her. I can't just leave." This is going all wrong. Lyn wasn't supposed to be here while I face the wrath of Vanessa. And why is she telling me to leave when she knows​ I need to talk to Lyn?

"You're not telling her anything. Not now."

"Okay. I'll talk to her later then." She rolls her eyes, exasperated. "You don't get it. You're not telling her at all."

I look at her as if she grew another head. Is she crazy?

"I can't keep this from her. She deserves to hear it and from me because I'm sure she'll hear it somehow. I thought you of all people would be forcing me to go down there right now to tell her."

"Tell who what?" Lyn asks from the door.

"He wants me to admit to you that you make better pancakes than I do." Vanessa lies. That distracts Lyn easily.

"Give it a rest, Nessa," she laughs. It isn't her usual laugh. This one sounds unfamiliar. Forced. It kills me to know I'm going to hurt her even more.

"Fine." Vanessa pretends to be hurt.

"Anyways, I came to ask you guys if you felt in the mood for cookies."

"Oooh girl, I missed you so much," Nessa laughs.

"Because you haven't had cookies since I left? Some friend you are," Lyn says sarcastically.

"Hey, that's not the only reason. I'm sorta tired of burnt pancakes too." The two women laugh and I can't help but feel as if I'm intruding.

I want to go find Lee and wake his ass up so I can leave but Evelyn is having none of it. She practically drags Nessa and I downstairs to the kitchen then goes back upstairs to wake Lee.

So here we are like it's a normal day and everything is fine, eating at the breakfast table. Vanessa and Lyn are the only ones talking and I think she notices since she asks if everything is okay. The response she gets would make anyone suspicious.

Vanessa and Lee answer a little too quickly, Vanessa laughs a shaky laugh while saying 'everything's great', Lee mumbles something about 'great cookies' and I don't answer at all. If she notices they're hiding something she didn't show it. But I know Lyn, and my silence is the only answer she needs.

She knows that something is wrong now but she still forces a smile and continues the conversation she was having with Nessa.

Lee keeps looking at me like he wants​ to leave this table right now and so do I. So I excuse the both of us and go out the back with him.

The day is sunny and cool, a fine contrast to the rainy weather yesterday. Lee and I sit on one of the benches in the back yard. None of us speak for a while but it isn't an uncomfortable silence. It's​ actually exactly what I need.

I need to think about what the hell just happened in that house. From Evelyn showing up and coming on to me to Vanessa telling me to leave without telling Evelyn what I'm suppose to tell her.

The way Evelyn kissed me...

It was so unexpected. One minute she was pulling away from me then the next minute she was latching on to me.

I know I shouldn't have led her on knowing that when she finds​ out the truth she's going to hate me so much. But I couldn't stop. I want her as much as she wants​ me and I love it. I know it was selfish of me and I don't have any other excuse than the fact that I miss this woman so much.

"Nessa told me she loved me last night," Lee says, interrupting my thoughts.

"What? What did you say?" I shouldn't have been this surprised but I am. I know Nessa would eventually fall for him but I also thought that the minute she said the words Lee would be out the door.

"Nothing. I distracted her. It won't last for long though and I don't know what to do," he says looking down at his feet.

"Do you love her?" I already know the answer but I want him to see where I'm going with this.

"You really just asked me that? Cel, you know I don't do the love thing."

"Then break up with her."

"What?" He asks, eyes widening.

"You heard me. She loves you but you don't even feel close to the way she feels about you. So what's the point? What's the point of staying when she's only gonna waste her time sitting around waiting for you to love her because you're too much of a coward to see how it feels to have someone truly care about you? Because that's it, you know? She cares about you more than anyone else you've ever been with. It's pretty obvious that you see it too because it's basically a month now and you haven't even considered breaking up with her."

He looks as if he's doing some hard thinking.

Good. That was my intention.

A month is the limit my best friend set for himself to be in a relationship. I know he can go longer than that, he's just being stubborn. I shake my head as I remember what made him like this.

That 'what' is actually a who. Her name is Sarah.

Lee wasn't always like this and neither was I. I changed for the better but he...well he turned into who I was back then. I didn't care about anything or anyone. In high school I used girls for what I wanted then turned my back on them like they never existed.

Lee was a nerd.

He never even thought about girls. He was all about books and class and homework or whatever.

But in the second year of college there was a blue eyed blonde named Sarah who caught his attention. Well actually, she didn't give him a choice. She practically forced herself onto him. She asked him to tutor her and he accepted. Then she started spending more and more time with him because she thought he needed company.

He did, though.

I partied and spent a lot of time at frat houses so I was barely there for him. Eventually he fell in love with her. Of course I told him it wasn't love.

She was the first girl he'd ever had a full conversation with about something outside of school work, the first girl who made him laugh by telling him a nerd joke and the first girl he'd ever spent so much time with.

Of course he would think it's love. I told him it wasn't.

Unfortunately, I was proven right at the end of the year when she up and left him with a shit excuse about how she only needed him to get her grades up so she could transfer to another college. And during all that time, she actually had a boyfriend.

It changed him. He's never been able to or even let himself trust another woman since that.

So being the dickhead I was I brought him to a few parties to cheer him up. At first he was awkward there 'cause it wasn't his scene. But after a while he started to like it. He started working out and and just like that he started pulling ladies in.

By the start of our third year he was just like me but he was sort of still a nerd. That's something he couldn't change. Third year was when I met Evelyn and I changed, leaving my best friend on the dark side. The side where there's no care and no love.

And I'll always have that on my conscience.

"Sarah is in the past. Vanessa's nothing like her and you know that. You gotta stop doing this," I press.

"I know that, man. It's not that easy. I've been doing this shit for so long now," he admits. I nod, letting him know that I understand.

"I see you haven't told Lyn," he starts and I frown. His psycho girlfriend that I'm out here defending is in there throwing me under the bus at the same time, I'm sure. "Nessa doesn't want you to tell her."

I figured that out.

"Why?"

"She thinks it'll break Lyn and she can't let that happen."

"She's not some fragile piece of glass," I mutter but he goes on like he doesn't hear me.

"She thinks maybe you should give her some time to move on with her life then later you can tell her. That way it'll hurt but not as much as it would now."

"What? Is she crazy? You do understand what she's saying right?" I start. I'm​ a little too loud at the moment but I don't care. Vanessa completely gave up hope on me and that pisses me off because I'm telling my best friend to try with her, to give her another chance and she's telling​ hers to move on with her life, that I'm not worth it?

This is so messed up.

"Yea. I know what she's saying. I didn't agree with her at first but-"

Is he saying...?

"At first? You're kidding me." I'm​ on my feet now. "You were the one at my house yesterday hounding me to freakin' tell her everything and hours later here you are giving me this shit!" I yell.

"What do you think is gonna happen? Do you think you'll tell her the truth and she'll run in your arms and everything will be okay? No, Marcel it won't. You'll hurt her more and you'll hurt yourself in the process. Give her some time. That's all I'm saying."

This isn't happening. My best friend is losing his mind. I can't stay away from her. She left for her parents for a couple days and I almost went crazy.

I made a mistake but we love each other. How much time do they think she'll be able to get over me and move on? Years is not even a start for me.

This just proves to me that I know her more than any of them think they do. Even her own best friend.

Before I know what I'm doing I'm back inside the house grabbing Lee's car keys and taking his car. He doesn't stop me. I don't even know where I'm​ going but I sure as hell won't stay here.

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