LUCY

"Lu? You ready?"

"Coming!"

I swing open my bedroom door to see Elias standing right there, looking impatient. I slide on a grin and walk out, saddling up next to him. He could stay mad at me, I don't care, but if we don't leave right now we are going to be late.

"We're gonna be late," I quip, knowing that that is the exact reason he called me out here.

He opens his mouth. "Lu! I know. That's why I called you."

I give him a wide toothy grin and he just shakes his head, walking past me. I follow him outside. He grabs his keys and I walk with him to his car. I get in the passenger side, and close the door.

Elias asked me this morning if I wanted to ride with him.

The only reason I said yes was because my car needs gas in it and I don't really feel like filling it up. I'm holding off as long as I possibly can. I'm cheap like that.

I don't have the heart to tell that to Elias when I told him yes because his eyes lit up like Christmas. I feel as if I am leading him on, but he knows how I feel and where I stand. It's just easier to go with him because we are going to the exact same place anyway and I'm saving myself some gas.

He doesn't need to know why.

Something tells me he's just happy I'm riding with him.

He's humming.

I stare at him as we drive down the road and he pretends me doesn't see me staring at him. I mean, if he's content to just hum the day along, by all means, but just do it when I'm not in the car.

"I'm not annoying you, am I?" He asks suddenly.

I decide to keep my mouth shut.

He sighs. "I am. Your face gives you away."

"I'm sorry!" I say, turning to him, putting my hands on his arm. "I don't necessarily think it's annoying, I think just about everything right now is annoying me. I don't know why. I get like that sometimes."

He narrows his eyes. "You're not protecting my feelings are you?"

I shake my head, "No. I don't do that, remember?"

He rolls his eyes. "Oh yeah. But you would let me know, right, if I was doing something annoying? It's not because of how I feel, it's just I know I'm difficult sometimes to be around. My brother knows that the best and he always told me how annoying I was." He laughs.

Judging by his sad expression, he doesn't quite mind what his brother would say about him. It's as if he would do almost anything to have his brother tell him how annoying he is.

I can tell he misses him a lot.

"I would tell you. And if I haven't before, I will now," I promise.

He holds up his pinky finger. "Promise?"

I let out a breath, and clasp his pinky finger with mine, tugging on it as if we are shaking hands. "Promise."

He let's go. "Good. So I can go back to humming now?" He asks as he pulls in the parking lot. He wouldn't be humming for very long.

I shrug. "I guess."

Smiling, he continues his hum.

We park and walk inside, finding our way to the elevator, like we do every day. I press the button and the doors open and we step inside in sync as the doors close.

It's a short ride up to our floor.

Elias hasn't stopped humming. But when the doors open to our floor, he immediately stops, and walks out first. He greets a few people but goes directly to his office, while I walk to my counter. I don't make eye contact with Elaine, although I know she is watching me.

When I finally sit down, that is when I look at Elaine. I can't help myself.

Almost immediately she stands and walks over to me. It was as if by looking at her she got an invitation or permission to come over and talk to me.

She's not very subtle.

"Did you guys ride together?" She asks, leaning over the counter.

I frown. "Why?"

"You guys came up at the exact same time."

"We have before."

She narrows her eyes. "Okay," she says and slowly walks away, and takes her seat, but I can tell that she is not convinced. She obviously knows that we rode together, so there is no point in hiding, but there's something about admitting it, as if we did something wrong.

Even though we didn't.

Dang, now I'm regretting riding with him.

I thought I might.

I peek into Elias' office as Elaine walks into there, handing him some papers. I watch the whole exchange with narrowed eyes. They seem to be talking, Elias smiling at something she said.

Realizing what I am doing, I yank my head back, scolding myself. It's bad enough I regret riding with Elias, but it's another thing to be watching how those two act when they're together. It's like I am a jealous girlfriend or something, which I am not.

No, I do not care what Elaine thinks of me.

Even though that is the exact thing I tried to convince myself of whenever Elaine found out that Elias likes me.

Never had I been so concerned in my life if something hated me or not.

With Franny I knew. But Elaine... I didn't know what to think.

But right now I know she's jealous.

So she probably does hate me.

Elaine emerges from Elias' office and it takes everything in me to not look over at her. I take a peek at her when I believe she's not looking, and I see her staring at her computer screen, a content smile on her face.

I sit back in my chair, still watching her.

Maybe I should take it easy on her. I'm sure it must be hard for her, to find out that the person you really like, likes someone else.

That was me when I found out that Travis proposed to Jeanie for the first time.

Jeanie tried to not tell me about it, but it slipped, and I don't think I ever experienced such horrible jealousy than when I did in that moment. At least when they got married I already knew that Travis loved Jeanie, but the first time it happened, it was a huge shock.

It's still me now, when I think of how Travis will choose Jeanie over me every time.

I almost feel guilty. If only Elias hadn't met me... maybe Elaine would have been the one with him, and I'm sure he would be a lot happier than he is right now, waiting for me. He doesn't even know if I will ever get over Travis.

How can he stand this?

Could I?

Maybe he just needs a little push. Maybe I need to convince him that I am not worth it, and Elaine is literally sitting here with open arms.

They could be great together. Elaine is very much in love it seems, and Elias just needs to move on past me and look ahead. He doesn't realize what a huge mistake he is making.

Not to mention that I am most definitely not worth this.

He doesn't even know about Travis, and about what I did. If that doesn't send him over the edge he isn't human. He must know when something or someone is unlovable, and that is exactly how he will feel if I ever tell him that very important detail.

I could use it as an argument, but I don't think I'll be able to admit it or say it to his face. There may be a slight part of me that doesn't want to lose him completely, as a friend.

Because that would surely push him as a friend away from me.

With a rising confidence that this talk with Elias is the best thing for me to do, I stand, and walk over to his office. I knock on his door which produces a, "come in" from Elias. I open the door and step inside.

He looks up, which generates a smile.

I clear my throat, walking closer to him.

"Can we talk?"

He sits up. "Sure. Over lunch?"

I glare at him.

"While I talk to you on the phone, while I'm at lunch, and you're here," he fumbles, cringing at the end. I can't help but smile at his attempt to save himself. I shake my head, letting him know he very much failed.

"No."

He snaps his fingers. "Darn."

Wow, he's making this more difficult than I'd like.

My confidence is slowly dwindling.

How am I going to even start this conversation?

"What do you need, Lu?" He asks, leaning on his desk with clasped hands. He looks very relaxed.

I sigh. "I think... you should get to know Elaine better."

Well, his smile disappeared. That's not a good sign.

He works his mouth.

That's never a good sign.

"Why?"

"Because here you are, saying you'll wait for me, when Elaine is sitting out there with open arms, ready for you, while I'm over here not feeling anything. That's not fair to you. You don't deserve that. So I think you should get over me and move on with Elaine."

His eyes hold mine with such contempt I'm pretty sure he's just killed me ten times over in his mind. But he has to realize there is some truth in my words. Who wants to wait for someone to love them? No one. He must know that this is the best option.

"Why don't I deserve that?" He asks.

I bite my cheek. Why does he have to ask more questions?

"Because, you're a human, and you are a great person. No person deserves to wait for love when the person they love doesn't love them back."

He narrows his eyes.

I fold my arms over my chest, waiting for him to respond.

But he takes his jolly old time.

Finally, he speaks, "Lu, do you feel like you're worth this? Is this why you suddenly feel guilty I love you?"

I swallow. "Maybe."

Elias nods. "You don't think you're worthy of my love?"

I shake my head. "That doesn't matter. What matters is you. You don't need to go through this for me, because you are waiting for me. That's not fair."

"Don't you think I know what's fair?" He stands, placing his fists on the desk, leaning forward. "Lu, you are worth every single bit of love anyone feels for you. Don't start feeling guilty because you think there might be someone better for me, or someone who already loves me. I know Elaine, and I know that I could never love her as I love you. And don't ever tell me what I deserve or don't deserve. Because I know for a fact that I do not deserve you!"

My knees start to shake.

He resumes his seat.

I let out a breath, feeling my bottom lip quiver..

I don't want to meet his eyes.

But I do.

His eyes are set, determined, focused on me, while I know I may or may not be crying, I do not know. All I know is that even though his speech moved my heart, my own determination is stronger.

"Whatever you may say," I begin in a small voice, "won't convince me otherwise. Elias, you don't deserve to wait. You don't deserve whatever you think I can give you. Even if it isn't with Elaine, I strongly urge you take a look at what you're really waiting for, and examine it. Dig deep and I hope you'll find that you shouldn't wait for something that may never happen."

He works his mouth again, but harder.

"I have to go back to work," I say, turning around to exit the room.

As I walk out, Elias speaks softly, "I've already done that. Dug deep. Multiple times. And I've always come back to you."

I shut the door.

ELIAS

I flex my fist, trying to get the ache out of my hands from clenching my fist for too long. Basically as soon as Lu started talking, my fist appear by my side and wouldn't leave.

If she thinks that I can just let her go so easily...

She thinks she is saving me from a lifetime of regret. She couldn't be more wrong. I've never felt so strongly about anyone in my entire life; or been so determined to stick with someone. None of the other girls I dated I fell in love with. They came nowhere close to how I feel for Lu.

Lu thinks she is doing me a favor.

I try not to think of where that conversation could have gone. It could have ended with me kissing her and her kissing me back and telling me she loved me, or, it could have ended with more arguing and then eventually fighting.

I like the first one.

She wasn't going to win. It isn't like I can just unlove her like that. It's not like my love for her is an outfit that I can just put on and take off again.

No, it's staying.

Whether she likes it or not.

I look at Elaine who is sitting at her desk, probably having no idea that Lu is rooting for her and I to get together.

And she will never know.

It's difficult to continue working while I still have the stupid conversation in my head, but I can't help but go over every detail, every word, until I want to shoot my brain.

I kept glancing at the clock every half an hour to discover it had only been five minutes since I last looked. The morning seems to go slower than usual, which is weird. But maybe my whole morning consisted of our conversation, which is still replaying in my mind.

In fact, Elaine sneaks over to my desk to ask me a question, and I jumped out of my skin because I wasn't paying attention. She has seven inch heels she is wearing and couldn't sneak up on a deaf person, so I must have really been psychoanalyzing the conversation for her to do so.

My phone dings.

I glance down at the text.

It is from Fran.

Lately, ever since like two days ago, she's been texting me. I was wondering why, but I didn't ask. I just politely texted her back, not wanting to wreck anything. Maybe she's finally forgiving me and wanting to be friends.

I could hope.

The text sounds promising.

Hey, do you want to come over to my house for lunch? You can ask for a little longer of time, right? Just so you don't have to leave so soon. Let me know.

Lunch? At Fran's house?

Yeah that may not end well.

I am ever the optimist.

I text her back, When do you want me there? I can ask my boss.

The text is sent.

She replies instantly.

In half an hour.

I glance at my clock. It's ten-forty-five.

Sure. But I might be a little late. It's a long story, but my boss drove me to work. I'll have to go get my car.

I cringe at the text. That sounds so bad.

Just bring him ;)

I groan aloud. Fran wants me to bring the man who I basically argued with because I want him to stop loving me and move on with his other coworker.

Well, she doesn't know that. And it's not like it'll come up in conversation.

I text Fran back, Will it just be us?

Setting the phone down, I answer the office phone.

My phone dings, but I ignore it, still talking on the phone. Once I transfer the phone to someone else, I look at the text message.

Jeanie's coming.

Well, that'll be better.

I'll ask my boss if he wants to come. I'll text you back if he can come and if I can get more time off.

I set my phone down and stand. Time to go and speak to Elias again.

Hopefully it's better than last time.

I straighten my skirt and walk slowly into Elias' office. I stand farther away this time, hoping he wouldn't notice. He looks up from his work and frowns.

Well that's a first.

"Yes?" he asks, not amused.

I swallow. "My friend just invited me over for lunch at her house. I told her I have to go get my car, but then she also invited you to come, if you want. I said I'd ask."

Elias nods. "Who is this friend?"

"You saw her at the hospital. She's the redhead. The other friend in the hospital is also going to be there. As well as the redhead's husband."

He nods. "I'll come. We can take all the time we need."

I pause. "Really?"

He smiles. "Why not? I'll get to meet your friends," he says, and he genuinely looks excited, which is way better than him still being upset at me. Even though I started that argument, I'm glad he's okay.

I don't necessarily like conflict.

"When do we leave?" He asks.

"Half an hour."

I leave the room and go back and text Fran that Elias is coming. She sends a celebration emoji, and I smile. I set my phone down, and get on with my work.

Like clockwork, exactly a half an hour after our conversation, Elias appears by my side with his jacket. "You ready?" He asks.

I swear Elaine's ears just perked up.

I don't look over to confirm.

"Yes," I say, grabbing my purse. "Elaine, you got phones," I say to her and she nods, pretending like she wasn't just looking at us before.

"Where are you guys going?" She asks.

I share a look with Elias.

He turns to her. "To lunch." He gives her a smile then looks back at me.

We walk to the elevator.

The doors open and we both get in. It feels like deja vu from this morning, but it feels way too soon to be doing this.

It takes all of one minute before we are out of the building and into the car. I tell Elias the address and he plugs it into his GPS. We sit in silence for a second while he puts in the address, which is strangely awkward.

Then we are off.

It turns out they aren't too far away from work.

About fifteen minutes later, we pulled into the driveway of Fran and Jared's house.

"Just so you know, Franny may or may not hate me." I give him fair warning as we unbuckle our seat belts.

"You don't know for sure?" He asks.

I shake my head.

We walk up to the door, and I smell the food inside. Elias looks excited.

Looks like he's getting his lunch with me after all.