ELIAS

I watch Elaine practically hug everything out of Lu. Her face is so lit up it makes me want to puke my guts out.

Why Elaine? She always seemed good-natured, and leaned back, now she is all crazy or something. It also doesn't help that Lu didn't seem in the slightest that I am going out to lunch with Elaine. She even said she wouldn't be jealous.

That is not something I need to know.

Luckily, Lu looks as if she regretted her words, so that makes me feel better.

The morning goes by painfully slow, and soon I am telling Lu that I want to go out for my lunch break as I lean over her counter, close to her.

Her eyes look past me. I frown, turning, following her gaze. Elaine is standing right behind me, a huge grin on her face. She is holding her purse as well as her jacket.

I look back to Lu, then realization dawns on me.

I have to go out to lunch with Elaine.

Elaine taps me on the shoulder, and I look over it. "Are you ready to go?" She asks, still grinning.

I hold back a groan and nod. I look back at Lu and see she is trying to hold back a smile, but failing epically.

"Don't look so pleased," I murmur, giving her a glare.

She smiles. "Who me?" She asks, giving me a toothy grin.

I shake my head at her.

Her eyes twinkle as she leans in. "At least try to have a good time." Her voice is low and quiet so Elaine won't hear.

I sigh. "I make no promises," I say as I begin to turn away and face Elaine.

Lu reaches over the counter and grabs my wrist, making me turn to her. "Elias, please, let her down easy. She really likes you," she whispers.

I swallow, staring down at her. I glance at her petite fingers wrapped around my wrist, and I suddenly don't want her to let go of me. Thankfully she doesn't.

That is, until I answer her, "Okay."

She smiles, releasing me.

I face Elaine, holding back my groan when she stands about a centimeter away from me, her eyes widen and her toothy grin blinding me.

"Ready?" She asks.

I step back and hit the counter with my back. I cringe, and nod at Elaine.

She walks in front of me, not even waiting. Apparently, she couldn't wait for this lunch date to happen. I follow her to the elevator, glancing behind me to see Lu watching me, a small smile on her face. As if she wanted this to happen, as if she would be off the leash.

I shake my head at her, smiling a little as the elevator doors close.

She can't get rid of me that easily.

That thought sits with me the entire ride in the elevator.

Elaine leads me out of the building as if I don't know where I am going, and I walk directly toward my car, and that's when she follows me, which makes me happy for some reason.

I unlock the car, letting her inside. She takes a seat in the passenger seat, waiting patiently as I turn the car engine on and shut my door. I feel her stare as I buckle myself up and reverse out of my parking spot.

I meet her eyes and that's where I make my first mistake.

"So, where's the burger joint?" She asks, leaning toward me.

I clear my throat. How long has she been into me? How much time has passed for her to develop this crush? I have always known her as the sensible type, and this definitely didn't seem like her, but here we are. Never thought I'd be going out for lunch with Elaine of all people.

"It's about ten minutes away," I answer her, very vague.

She seems satisfied with my answer.

Her mouth doesn't seem to stop moving after I answered her questions. She just kept going on and on so much I wanted to put a sock in her mouth. It was already too bad I went into this with a grumpy mood, but this just made it so much worse.

At least when Lu talks, she actually has something to say.

I smile, content with that memory of her, the first time we went out to lunch.

I chuckle. I even told her it was strictly a boss and employee get to know each other time, but I honestly just wanted to look at her, get to know her. I immediately liked her and her spunk. She looked so terrified her first day here I almost laughed.

Now I am glad I didn't, not realizing how important she would become to me.

She's one of the most important things in my life right now.

I hope she always will be.

If it took Lu this long to get over Travis, I hope I double that. It almost kills me to have to think of life without her.

It's how I knew I loved her.

All I had to do was think of what her dad could do to her.

It brought me back to the dark, cold fact that her life could be taken from her through one of these attacks, and nothing scared me more. I didn't even half realize it until I was kissing her and then it just came out.

Everything I felt for her just came out like a gushing waterfall, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

But I'll never forget the fear that entered her eyes that exact moment.

It's when I knew she would say what she would say.

I knew she was going to reject me.

Yet, somehow, it didn't affect me as much as I thought it would. I'm still okay, I'm still happy, I'm not dying of despair because she said no.

Maybe that's how I know how deeply I love her.

The thought makes me smile.

"What are you thinking about?" Elaine asks in a sweet voice.

I smile, shrugging. "You don't want to know," I answer, glancing at her.

She smiles.

At least she isn't pushy.

I pull into the parking lot for the burger joint and park the car. I hop out of the car, and stuff my keys and wallet into my pocket. I turn around, expecting to see Elaine coming around the side of the car, but she isn't. I peer into the car and see she is still in her seat.

Maybe she's searching for her purse.

I decide to wait. No need to be pushy.

She still doesn't get out.

I walk over to the side of the car, frustrated. I yank open the door and she practically drops out, landing on her feet, a bright smile on her face.

"Thanks! Let's go," she chirps, walking past me and around the car.

I stand in confusion. I shake it off, and slam the door shut. I walk briskly into the building, walking in behind her. The hostess leads us to a table and we both take a seat.

Elaine just stares at me.

Then she mutters, "I still can't believe you agreed to go out with me."

I narrow my eyes. "You can thank Lu for that," I say as the waitress comes over to our table, asking for our drinks. I ask for water and Elaine asks for the same.

She leaves.

"Yeah, Lu is pretty awesome," Elaine says, still smiling.

I raise a brow.

Her eyes widen. "Uh, I mean, Lucy is pretty awesome," she corrects herself and that's when I let myself smile.

I clear my throat. "What are you getting?" I ask.

She looks ecstatic. "A burger. I like just the bacon and cheese on it."

I nod, looking away from her to the other tables. I told Lu that I would let her down easy, but it wasn't going to go so easy. If Elaine is this excited to go out with me, maybe her feelings run deeper than I thought. She's only been working here for what... three years?

I think.

She has to know it's never going to work out.

Maybe I don't have to tell her anything. I can just act super duper weird or edgy, or even mean and maybe she won't like me after that.

But it seems cruel, especially since she seems so innocent.

She doesn't seem the type to shy away easily, and that may be a problem.

The waitress comes back after a little while and we both place our orders. I am glad she ordered first or else she might have copied off of mine. Who knows.

We are by ourselves again.

I look out the window, almost ignoring her.

The smell of the burgers, the sound of the grilling not too far away from us, brings me back to Rich. I could imagine him now, in his cell, or in the courtyard. I could see him barely struggling to walk, to speak, to do anything. He left in such poor condition, I almost couldn't believe they put him back.

It makes my heart clench. He doesn't deserve to be so hurt when he did nothing wrong. I never confronted him, never spoke to him about the accident, because it all seemed to come out of court, but I almost wished I did. So I knew.

Rich wasn't an angry person. He never was. He was always the peaceful one out of the two of us, considering I was there. I used to be the angry one, a long time ago.

But it didn't matter. The fact shown that it was an attempted murder as well as a first degree murder charge. They convicted him so fast it didn't even feel like it was a trial.

I should have asked. Cleared my conscience for real, because I don't want to believe he tried to kill us. We were the only family he knew. Why would he want to kill us? The police said the evidence rested on the fact that he wanted Dad's company, but he knew I was perfectly willing to give it to him.

He knew that.

Why else would he try to kill us?

He was heartbroken when he found out dad died.

There was no way he faked that. He didn't suddenly become an actor or a murderer, and I refuse to believe it was on purpose.

But I still wish I would have asked.

"Are you okay?" Elaine asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I nod. "Yeah."

She looks down at the table. "Sir... or uh, Jude?"

I nod, allowing her to use my name.

Her eyes meet mine. "You don't want to be here, huh?" She asks, her voice small. She isn't stupid, she can obviously read body language, and I am pretty obvious that I do not want to be here.

I sigh. "Listen, Elaine, I said no, to Lu. I said I didn't want to go out to lunch with you. But she convinced me I should, but I do have to say that I don't think it's going to work out."

She narrows her eyes, looking anything but defeated. "But you haven't even given us a chance," she argues, giving me a pointed look. I swallow hard.

Maybe I will have to tell her.

"We're so different Elaine..." I give out my lame excuse, cringing myself when I hear what I said.

She scoffs. "You wouldn't know yet. You've barely spoken to me this whole time."

Her eyes hold tears.

I have to tell her.

"You won't even give us a chance," she struggles, her voice slightly breaking.

Okay. That's it.

"Elaine, do you know why we won't ever work out? How I know for a fact that I can't be with you?" I ask, giving her the chance to back out of what I may say to her.

She sniffles. "No. What?"

I inwardly groan, and dip my head. Here we go.

My eyes lift to her and I smile. "Elaine, I'm in love with Lu."

Elaine doesn't move.

Her mouth opens to speak, but she doesn't. She closes her mouth, then lets out a sigh. She shakes her head.

"How do I know that this isn't an excuse to get out of this because you hate me?" She asks, and I almost throw hands.

Why would I lie about that?

I turn on my glare. "How am I supposed to convince you?" I ask in bewilderment.

Is she honestly going to make me explain? Or somehow convince her?

She could just say she doesn't believe me.

"I don't know," she says. "Think of something."

I shake my head. "Elaine, if you don't believe me, then that's your problem. But I know in my heart that I love Lu, and you can't change that, I'm sorry."

Her bottom lip quivers. "Does she know?"

I frown.

She leans across the table. "Does she know?" She asks again, this time she enunciates each word with power.

I nod slowly.

She scoffs. "And she let me come on this date with you?"

I shrug. "You asked her to ask me, right?"

She nods, more tears gathering in her eyes.

I sigh. "She doesn't like me back."

Her eyes become hopeful.

"So maybe this was her way to maybe get me to think about you and not her, I don't know. All I know is I'm gonna be in love with her for a very long time. Hopefully forever," I say, my heart longing for that statement to be true so I can state it as a fact.

But I can't.

Lu doesn't love me.

Elaine sighs. "You told her?"

I nod, smiling. "Yeah. I was thinking about her in the car. That was why I was smiling in the car when you asked."

She takes a sip of her water, now silent.

I take her hand. "Elaine, I am sorry. I tried to let you down easy, but I'm afraid I failed at that. I apologize. You seem sweet and nice, and maybe we could have worked out in a different time, but I'm afraid my heart isn't free anymore."

She smiles, pulling her hand from mine. "I only wish I had the courage earlier."

I give her a sad smile.

We take our burgers to go, and I was glad I didn't have to go through lunch with her. We grab our to-go bags, and head toward the car. I start up the engine, and we are back on the road towards work.

The car ride is silent.

We walk into the building a few minutes later, still silent. It's a short ride up to the office, and when we walk in, I immediately look to Lu.

She sits at her counter, on the computer in front of her, biting her lip.

I smile as I watch her.

Elaine walks in front of me.

Lu looks up, frowning as she spots me.

I narrow my eyes as Elaine walks up to the counter. She stares down at Lu and as I walk closer I can hear her words.

"You don't know how good you have it. He's right in front of you. I'd count yourself lucky," she mutters to Lu then walks back over to her desk and sits down. She doesn't even look up at me as I walk over to the counter where Lu sits.

Lu peers up at me. "What did you say?" She asks.

I nod to my office and she stands. She follows me into my office and shuts the door behind her. I get the urge to kiss her, but I push that behind me. But it's hard, especially since she is standing so close to me.

"Well?" She asks, hands on her hips.

I smile. She looks cute today.

She clears her throat.

"So, well, I told her it wouldn't have worked out between us and she basically demanded a reason. So I gave her one. Multiple, in fact."

She narrows her eyes. "Which ones?"

I sigh. "That we're so different and we wouldn't get along, stuff like that."

Her eyes remain narrowed.

I cringe inwardly. "I also may have told her that I cared for you."

She closes her eyes, rubbing her temples with her fingers. "Elias..." she trails off, shaking her head. She opens her eyes. "Why?"

"She wouldn't get off my case, okay? She demanded a reason. I didn't have a solid reason, so I just told her the truth." Her eyes remain focused on me as I explain, but her expression was a little scary. "What, Lu? I wasn't going to lie to her. It's not as if I'm embarrassed or anything. You're important to me. I won't hide that," I say, and now would have been the perfect opportunity to take her hand and stroke it with my thumb if it weren't for my stupid promise to her.

She'd hit me right now if she could hear my thoughts.

"It's not that, Elias," Lu answers. "It's just that she knows now..."

I frown, taking a step closer to her. "And...? Why is that a bad thing?"

She meets my eyes. "I just didn't want her to know, is all."

I bite the inside of my mouth so hard I think I might be bleeding. She really doesn't care about me... about how I feel or about how I feel about her. Maybe I really am kidding myself with all the waiting. Or just the thought of waiting.

Is she worth it?

She smiles. "I don't mean to hurt you. I just... she probably hates me now."

I shake my head. "No, I don't think so."

Her eyes meet mine again, and I feel myself smile.

"I'm gonna go back to work. Thank you for taking her to lunch. I'm sorry it didn't go so well," she mutters and she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

I watch her go.

I smile again.

Yes.