TRAVIS

I glance at my watch. Two hours in.

It surprisingly is only going to take ten hours to get to Jeanie. I had thought that coming out here was the farthest I have ever been from her, but it didn't seem to be. I realize I could have made this drive multiple times and it would have been fine.

To, you know, visit her, see how she is doing.

Except with this trip, I am hoping to find out how she will react to her seeing me.

I had a slight plan that would only work if Jeanie was not home. And it wasn't like I was going to call any of them, because who knows what would happen, so when I get there, I hope to find her house empty.

Then I could call Jared.

Or, maybe call him when I get into town.

That could work.

Then when she gets home, hopefully under good circumstances, and I could tell her how I felt. Or, still feel about her.

My gut clenches. I have this sickening feeling that it could all go wrong and I would be making an even more sickening trip back here because I don't know if I could stay there after that.

I mean, Franny and Jared are there, but it would be horrible to see Jeanie so often and not be able to be with her.

I glance in my rear view mirror to see all my stuff in the trunk.

I packed everything up. I took all my belongings from the cabin and... moved back to Jeanie. Except for the fact that if she says no, I don't have a house or a place to stay until I get a house, so...

It's all resting on her not saying no.

Which is a risk.

I try to think happy thoughts. I could picture her accepting and getting married again. Maybe have a few kids. Raise a family. Grow old.

But still... it rested on a yes from Jeanie.

I accidentally honk my horn from pounding my fist into the steering wheel.

Whoops.

I straighten.

Oh, please Jeanie, you have to say yes.

JEANIE

"Yes! Yes, I'm going. I'm going. All I need is Franny, who said she was going on a potty break, which is fine, but we might be late and then I'll miss my flight." I smile as I adjust the phone.

Mom, who was on the other line laughs. "You better not be late, Lara Jean. Travis is waiting for you and you need to ask for his forgiveness."

I clear my throat. Yeah, thanks Mom.

"Ok, ok, here she comes," I say as I spot Franny coming from the house. "Bye, mom, I love you!"

"Bye-"

I turn off the phone and grab Franny's purse. "Should you really be driving?" I ask as she gets into the driver's side while I plop myself down on the passenger seat.

She gives me a look that used to scare me. "I'm nine weeks pregnant Jeanie. I'm not giving birth." Her voice is full of annoyance so I decide to drop the subject and let the dang woman drive.

Jared suggested he could drive me, but he had work. And since Franny wasn't feeling the best because of the pregnancy, she has taken off work. She was the best option, other than my mother, but I tried not to let my mother drive me anymore.

But that is only because she is crazy when she drives. I have never seen her get more mad at people than when she is driving, and it is terrifying.

No, I am fine with Franny. We can talk for an hour before we get to the airport, and then it will be me and my music for three hours. Which I am totally fine with.

Franny merges onto the highway, and I notice her knuckles are white from grasping the handle so hard.

I glance at her features when she turns her head back to the road, and mouth is set in a firm straight line, and her eyebrows are furrowed.

She looks mad.

She is mad.

"Franny?"

"What?"

Even her voice is mad.

Oh no,

"Are you okay?" I ask her, wanting to place my hand on her leg for comfort, but realize she's touchy feely when she drives and we are going seventy. Might not be the wisest choice I make, ever.

'Cause I could die.

"I'm fine."

She tries to make her voice sound light, but I heard the heaviness. Was she still thinking about how angry she is at Travis for not coming to her wedding? I hadn't thought about that when I thought about her driving me.

It isn't like she is going to make me choose. It's just that I couldn't have them at war. It isn't fair to either of them if they never make up and live in disagreement for the rest of their lives.

Franny deserves some closure for what happened.

"You haven't forgiven Travis, have you," I say, and it's not posed as a question. I already know the truth so might as well not hide it.

Her jaw clenches.

"I don't want to talk about this, Jeanie." She goes into the left lane.

I let out a breath. "We have to. We can't pretend to ignore the elephant in the room for long especially since you look like you wanna kill someone. Also, the fact that we have an hour drive, but it would feel so much longer. Might as well get it all out into the open."

She shakes her head. "No."

I lean against my chair. "Then I'll talk. Fran, what happened at your wedding was awful, and I know that because I was there. It was horrible. But... to be fair, it wasn't his fault. He was with Lucy, and I'm not trying to pin all the blame on her, but she made him not go. You know that."

She swallows hard.

But she still refuses to speak.

"Franny, is there something else? Something else you are angry at, besides the wedding?"

Her eyes are misty.

I stare at her. What could it be? Franny isn't an angry person, but rather when something upsets her, that stays with her until she can forgive herself or whoever it was that hurt her. She's always been that way. And sometimes, she gets so frustrated, she gets angry and acts out.

Jared has especially helped with that, I know she helped him deal with his outright anger, but this is something I don't know. I don't know what is going on inside her head, what turmoil she is in, but it has to be about multiple things.

"You can tell me," I whisper.

She shakes her head. "You'll hate me." Her voice comes out in a whisper.

I frown.

Now I am really confused.

"I could never hate you, Franny."

She looks at me, tears in her eyes.

I nod, urging her to speak.

"Jeanie... I'm not super angry at Travis. Well, I am, but I think I'm angry at you."

I take in a breath. Okay, I am not expecting that.

But this is good.

Then I realized we had that conversation with Lucy. Franny was yelling, and we all had our earplugs in. She could have been not only talking about Lucy and Travis, but also about me and no one would have known.

Has she been carrying this with her for long?

I need to know.

"Okay," I answer, "what about?"

"Travis."

Of course.

"Listen, Jeanie, I'm not sure what for, but all I know is that all I feel is anger. I got angry at Jared a few nights ago because he told me he had forgiven Travis already and I got mad. I don't really get mad at Jared. Ever. And it scared me, and even though I apologized, I did a lot of soul searching that night and I thought of everyone I had ever been angry at, and who I was still angry at, and your name came up."

"You know you're angry at me, but you don't know what for?" I ask, trying to piece together her rant.

She nods. "I guess." She lets out an exasperated breath. "It also doesn't help that I'm hormonal!" She gives out a dry laugh, and I see her one hand cup her tummy.

She isn't even showing yet and she keeps doing that.

I think it's cute.

"Well, let's think about this. We have to figure out why you're angry so that I can help fix this."

"Maybe I can't be fixed," she mumbles, her voice numbing.

Oh, Franny.

"Yes, you can. Anger can be fixed. And you, my friend, are not broken, and never was. You just have a problem with me and I want to know what, so we have to think."

We spent maybe fifteen minutes thinking in complete silence. A million thoughts were running through my head at that time, trying to think of something she would be angry at me about.

It wasn't until she got to the airport did Franny speak.

"I think I'm angry... at myself. Not you."

I have a hand on my open door, but I shut it. "What do you mean?"

"I think I've just been carrying around unforgiven anger, at everyone, but mostly at myself. For not being the person I wanted to be, or maybe because I was the problem with my parents, or maybe holding onto the wedding thing with Travis. It doesn't matter. I have a huge problem, and I don't know how to fix it."

Her eyes are full of tears.

I grab her hand. "Franny, I'm sorry I can't talk more, but trust me... when I get back we will talk about this more." She nods. "But I have to go. I'll miss you and love you." I kiss her cheek then climb out of the car. I grab my bag and walk into the airport.

The gate to my plane is there as soon as I walk in, and I make my way there. I give the workers my ticket and sit down while I wait for when we are being called.

Finally, our plane got called and I found my seat.

I make myself comfy at the window seat and look out the window, eyeing the wings on the plane. I liked flying. Being up in the clouds was my favorite part.

We begin to take off.

I hold onto the seat, clutching the arm rest tightly. This is my least favorite part.

Once we are in the air, I turn on my phone, plugging in my earbuds.

My music came streaming into my ears, and I lean against my chair.

Three hours.. and I'll see Travis.

I smile contentedly.

TRAVIS

Dang it. I forgot to call Jared.

I made it into the neighborhood where Jeanie and I used to live. I want to call Jared and let him know I am here, or just to ask how Jeanie would feel about seeing me, but I decide I am already here so there is no point.

There's the house.

I smile when I see it, realizing how much I missed this place.

How much I missed our place.

I park, and walk up to the front door. I knock.

There's no answer.

Maybe she's at work.

No, she wouldn't be working at this time. She could either be with her mom or she could be with Franny.

I try Jared's cell.

No answer.

I wait a few minutes before I call again.

He picks up. "Hello?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Jared?"

A pause. "Travis?"

I smile. "Yeah, it's me," I say, walking down to my car. Maybe Jeanie was at his house, maybe over for dinner.

"Man, how are you? I was not expecting you to call me! I thought you might have recycled this number when you disappeared. Did you just get back?"

I nod. "Yeah, a few minutes ago. Can I come over?"

"Yeah sure."

"Great, thanks."

I hang up, not letting him talk anymore. I was going to see him in a few minutes anyway, so there was no point.

There he is. Jared is standing with the door wide open, Franny behind him.

She does not look happy.

I swallow.

Oh boy.

But my hopes plummet when I don't see Jeanie standing with them. Maybe she is still inside, not sure how to process me coming back.

I hop out of my car and jog over to them. Jared embraces me tightly, almost cutting off my oxygen. I laugh and pull away. I punch him in the arm.

"How are you?" I ask, smiling.

He shrugs. "I'm great. How are you, you look as if you haven't slept." He laughs a little.

I dip my head, not wanting to tell him about my nightmares.

I move the conversation onto Franny, who is still behind Jared and has made no move to greet me. Her angry face is still there.

"Hi, Franny." I smile softly, moving around Jared to hug her.

She stiffens. "Don't."

I don't hug her.

"How are you?" I ask, shoving my hands in my pockets. Jared stands next to Franny, and places his arms around her shoulders, and I almost forget that they are married now.

Married.

I clear my throat after Franny ignores my question. "Is Jeanie here? She isn't at her house," I say, looking at the open doorway, hoping she would just appear there.

Jared's face falls.

"Wait... she isn't here with you?"

I shake my head. "Why would she be with me?"

Franny sighs. "Travis, Jeanie left this morning to go see you. I assumed she found you, but she never called."

I close my eyes.

I missed her.

Then they open. "Wait, why did she go to see me?"

Franny looks annoyed, while Jared looks ecstatic. "She wants you back, man."

I can't help my grin.

"Really?"

"Really."

I laugh, feeling a sudden joy I didn't even know I could feel.

She wants me back.