ELIAS

It is as if I am almost asking for trouble.

I felt painfully amazing with kissing Lu. I had dreamed for so long of that exact moment, where I would take her face in my hands and kiss her with everything I had in me, and now that I did, all I felt was turmoil inside of me.

I want to regret the kiss. But I don't.

I will never regret it.

But I can't help but think of that moment when I looked into Lu's eyes, and I knew she was in love with Travis. I wasn't as observant as she was, but I soon learned to realize she wears her emotions on her sleeve.

Even though she tried to hide this emotion from me, I saw right through her.

That was my only regret in kissing her.

I kissed her, making myself long for more, which will never happen. Lu's heart is in the hands of another man, and it doesn't seem as if she will be getting it back anytime soon.

All I did was put myself through more pain.

I smile as she pulls away.

But it was so worth it.

"That was a good answer," I whisper against her cheek.

She chuckles. "Thanks."

I pull away from her, resting my own hand on her face, while the other lay on her lap. Her hands are still clutching my shirt, making me tense.

Her eyes look at my hand sitting on her lap. She removes her hands from my chest, and picks it up. I feel anticipation as to what is going to happen next.

She scans my hand almost, picking at the bandages.

"You can take these off," she says, already peeling some of them. I cringe from the pain, but don't make a sound as she takes the bandaids off.

She moves onto my next hand, peeling off the bandaids, carefully, gently.

I just watch her face, her lips, her eyes. I took her all in as she sticks out her tongue, as she narrows her eyes, as she sits there in whole perfection.

She must notice I'm watching her, but she doesn't meet my gaze.

"There," she finishes, dropping my hand. I glance down at my hands, then hold them up in front of me. The cuts are barely there anymore. My fingers are a little puffy, from the lack of oxygen they got this past week, but I am glad they aren't on there anymore.

"Thank you," I say, kissing her hair.

She smiles.

We are quiet now. I am not sure what to say or do now, but I am just content to be here with her, in silence, taking her in.

I wonder if this meant anything to her. I know she, in her heart, belongs to Travis, but I can't help but hope I moved her, I've given her something else to think about. Maybe about me, about us.

These were a lot of maybe's.

I'm not sure what to feel myself. I still don't know what happened in her relationship with Travis with why he dumped her and such, but I asked a lot of her tonight.

She would tell me when she's ready. If she really cared about me, she would tell me.

Maybe.

I hate maybes.

"I should go." Lu pushes against me, dropping to the floor. I grasp her hand, entwining our fingers as we walk to the back door, side by side. Once we get there, she opens the door, and I expect her to just run off to her car.

But she turns around, almost inviting me to kiss her again.

So I do. Ever gently, I hold her chin up with one hand, placing my lips on hers for a split second before letting go. Her eyes are closed when I look at her and I smile.

"Goodnight."

I nod. "Drive safe," I say as she turns away from me and heads to her car. I watch as she gets inside, and leaves the driveway.

I shut the door.

LUCY

I clutch my hands together as I walk into the office. No one looks up at me, and I go straight to my desk and set my stuff down. I hang my jacket on the back of my chair.

Elias, I am guessing, is in his office.

I am not quite sure how things were going to go today, but when I went home last night after some mac n' cheese, I... I didn't sleep. I was feeling as if I was going to puke and sing at the same time.

I feel over my lips, touching them, fingering them. I couldn't stop crying last night but I had managed to stop this morning when I had cried enough tears to last a lifetime.

It's stupid. I didn't want to feel so torn or broken over just a stupid kiss, but the thing is, it wasn't stupid. It was beautiful, and somehow exactly what I needed, and I expected myself to open my eyes and see... Travis.

That was why I cried. Elias kissed me, and all I wanted was it to be Travis.

It isn't fair. I want so badly to like Elias, to return what feelings I believe he has for me, but I can't seem to do it. I still can't get over Travis even though I know in my heart that he and I will never happen. Ever.

So I have to tell him today. I have to let him know where I stand.

I have to tell him the truth.

That I am in love with someone else.

I head to the kitchen and start on Elias' coffee. I wait around for it to brew, trying to come up with the correct way to tell him, how to word it. I come up with the perfect opening sentence, and I just hope everything else just flows.

I hope.

I pour the coffee into Elias' mug and take the handle, carefully, trying not to burn myself. I don't need to make even more of a mess that I need to clean up.

Elias is sitting at his desk when I go to the kitchen.

But when I walk back to his office, his blinds are closed. I frown, opening the door to find that he is nowhere to be seen. I set his coffee on his desk, letting out a frustrated breath. Great. Now my plan is ruined. I have to wait in anticipation until I can do it some other time.

So basically I'll just be anxious until I do.

Great.

I turn back around, and practically run into him.

"Elias," I say, feeling him steady my arms, not letting me fall. I settle on my feet, and don't dare look up at him.

"Hi," he says, and I can feel his smile. So I look up.

And almost immediately, he is kissing me.

Okay, okay, so maybe I let him kiss me for a few seconds before pushing against him, demanding he stop. Or maybe I just needed this one last time before I broke the news to him, not that I love someone else. Or maybe I need this to get Travis out of my head for good.

I need to get lost in another person.

My conscience hits me hard about that last one. So I push against Elias' chest softly, breaking the kiss that leaves me a bit dazed.

"Sorry." Elias places his hand over his face, dragging it down. He is smiling as he looks at me. "You look nice."

I almost kick him in the shins.

"Sir, I have to tell you something."

He takes a step back away from me, dropping his hands to his side. I miss the hold he had on my hands, but shake it off.

I need to shake it off.

"I-I can't do that anymore."

He frowns, confused.

I swallow. "You can't kiss me, Elias. Ever. Please."

His eyes meet mine, and I don't see surprise like I thought I would. Instead I see that he knew this was coming. He knew I would be saying this.

Which isn't possible, because he can't possibly know...

Wait...

"Elias, I am in love with someone else."

He smirks. "I know. Travis."

I clutch my hands together. "How?"

He stares down at the floor as he answers. "Your mom. As soon as she said you were over him and I looked at you... I knew that was a lie. A big one. But she doesn't know it, I guess."

I pretend to kick something with my foot. "She knows. She was just trying to push me toward you, to get over him."

"It's hard."

I meet his eyes. "What?"

"It's hard getting over someone. Someone you loved."

"Love," I correct and he hangs his head, looking almost defeated.

"Yeah."

I chuckle. "I had... a speech planned on how to explain my reasoning, but I guess I don't need to do that anymore. Which is fine," I walk forward, going past him.

He catches my arm, stopping me.

"It was a great kiss."

I can't help my laugh. "It won't happen again."

He lets go of my arm. "That's right."

I walk out.

I open the front door.

"We're in here honey!" I hear Mom yell, and I frown, walking further into the house before I spot mom sitting on the couch, a stiff smile on her face.

I enter the living room fully, and I see why her smile is stiff.

Dad.

Swallowing, I meet his eyes. I start to sweat.

"Hey, Lu," he greets, standing. The guard behind him shifts, meeting my eyes. He looks annoyed he's here, but he has no idea exactly how I am feeling at this exact second.

I take a step back as Dad comes to embrace me.

He is never going to touch me. Ever.

"Stop." I hold out my hand when he doesn't get the hint.

The hurt in his eyes is obvious, but I refuse to feel torn or guilty. He deserves this treatment. Actually, he deserves worse, but if I treated him like trash, then I would be just like him, and I was already trying to stop doing that.

He retakes his seat.

"Your mom and I were just talking about you," he comments.

I look at Mom.

She pats the seat next to her.

I take the chair in between them. I don't want to sit with either of them, feeling angry at my Mother for not even giving me a warning, so I could have just not shown up, and I can't even describe the feelings I have towards the man who I call Father.

"How was work, sweetie?" Mom asks me, shifting her attention on me.

I don't want to speak.

"Fine," I say, recalling in my head the kiss and the conversation I had with Elias this morning about how he wasn't allowed to kiss me anymore.

And then I come home to this.

Dad leans forward. "I missed you last time, Lu. I'm glad you're here."

I stare at him coldly, wanting him to get the hint to stay away from me. But he actually places his hand on my leg, squeezing it.

I jump out of my chair, scaring both of them.

Why is he so dumb? Doesn't he realize I went to the hospital because of him?

And all he has to do is touch me and I have an anxiety attack.

My breath comes in spurts now as I watch both of their concerned expressions. Dad looks as if he did nothing wrong and mom has tears in her eyes, as if she was the one touched and not me.

I notice the guard has a hand placed on Dad's shoulder.

I look him in the eye and nod. He nods back.

At least I have one protector.

"What's wrong?" Dad asks.

I scoff. "What's wrong? Dad, you don't get to touch me. Ever. Do you understand?" I almost yell, trying to hold back my tears.

His nod is barely noticeable.

"I have to go," I mumble, leaving so fast they couldn't object.

I shut the front door and lean against it. I place my hand over my chest, trying to control my breathing, but I can't seem to. I pull my hand away and see it trembling like crazy. I clutch it with my other hand, feeling a few tears slip down my face.

I put my face in my hands, trying to control myself.

Is this going to happen for the rest of my life now? Am I always going to be scared of my Father so bad that I tremble and can't breathe?

This can't be permanent. I had to get some sort of therapy for this. I had to take some sort of medicine for it. I can't live like this and it's only been three days!

I walk to my car and get inside. I have no idea where I can go, and I can't seem to decide what to do.

Almost as soon as I start my car, my phone buzzes.

I glance down at the text.

Elias: sorry, I accidentally called you. Totally on accident.

I clutch the phone in my hand.

"Lost in someone else."

I clear my throat. Maybe what I need to do is get my head lost in something else. Preferably something that helps put my dad away in jail for good so he can never see me or talk to me again.

I shakily call Elias.

He picks up immediately. "Hey, I did text you to tell you I accidentally called you," he starts, but I ignore it.

"Can I come over? Please? I need to talk about my Dad."

"Uh, sure. Right now?"

I clear my throat. "Right now."

"See you soon."

He hangs up.

I turn the engine on and head on over to his house.

He is waiting on the driveway, a blanket spread out. I almost roll my eyes, but realize he is just trying to be helpful. Besides, I don't need to go into his house. Last time I was in his kitchen...

Yeah, that didn't help me.

I hop out of the car and almost hug him.

"Hey," I greet, stuffing my hands into my pant pockets.

He smiles. "I brought a notebook," he greets.

"Good," I say, realizing he is taking this so seriously. He obviously remembered our conversation yesterday about him wanting to help me find a way to put my Dad back in prison, and nothing made me happier.

I take a seat on the blanket. I hold my legs close to my chest as he sits on the other side of the blanket, keeping his distance.

Thank goodness.

"He was there. At my house when I got home." I pick at my fingernails.

Elias frowns. "I'm sorry. I'm guessing this meeting has something about fulfilling my promise to help you, right?"

I nod, smiling. "Yes, sir."

He tries to laugh. It doesn't work.

I grab the notebook and pen. I click the end of the pen and open the notebook. It is completely empty and I almost smirk. Unless he's had this notebook for a very long time, he must have just bought this for this very purpose.

He doesn't seem like the type to buy notebooks.

I smile, content with this information.

"Don't get so excited," Elias quips. "It's just a notebook."

I roll my eyes, slapping him with it. "It's a pretty cool notebook, I have to say." I glance at the plain cover, gesturing it to him as if I was presenting something. "I mean, look at it." I smirk.

He smirks back. "I mean, yeah, it's pretty cool," he teases, rubbing his arm, exaggerating the rubbing as if he was actually hurt. He even throws in a pouty face.

"I know, I'm just so strong." My voice is dripping with sarcasm.

"It really hurt," he pleads.

I laugh.

He dips his head and I hear his laugh. I look up at the sky, not knowing what else to say. I don't want there to be awkwardness, especially since I might be spending a lot of my evening here.

Elias clears his throat and takes the notebook.

To start off, Elias asks me to give all the reasons why he scares me. It doesn't take me long to come up with at least twenty reasons.

Most were small things, but there were five main reasons.

"How many years did he... hurt you?" Elias is careful with his words, but I laugh.

"He beat me, Elias, it's okay. I won't get offended if you say it," I say, then concentrate on the question. "Uh... Maybe ever since I was twelve. So... around eleven years." I bite my lip, a little surprised at how big that number was.

Elias is quiet. So quiet, I have to look at him, wondering if he will respond.

He still hasn't written down the number yet.

His eyes meet mine and he swallows. "How... how many years?" He asks, his voice sounding raspy.

I sigh. "Eleven."

He sets the notebook down. "Lu, I am so sorry." His face is stricken.

I place my hand on his. "I've been four years free of him. Let's keep it going, shall we?" I don't want to go into detail with Elias, not knowing how my body would react to it. I don't need to relive another anxiety attack.

"Of course," he mutters softly.

I smile.

He is still quiet, and I can see the wheels turning.

Then, "How often can he see you now?"

"Once a day."

He shakes his head. "You don't need that, Lu. You have to stay away from him. I know you obviously want to, but if he can visit you..."

I nod. "I know. I almost want to get a hotel until this is over, or at least until I know that I won't get any more anxiety attacks."

His head snaps to mine. "Did you have another one?"

I swallow. "Almost." I look at his face, seeing his terrified expression. I clasp my hands together, not knowing how to respond to that. I mean, he looks really concerned, and I didn't want to think what that meant.

"When?"

"About a half an hour ago. I couldn't breathe."

He closes his eyes. "Lu, you can stay here."

I furrow my eyebrows "What, no."

He nods, determined. "Yes. You can sleep here, I have a lot of guest bedrooms, and you can go over to your Mom's for lunch or something, or in the morning for breakfast. Then after work, you can stay here. You won't have to see him."

The idea is appealing. The only problem is, I would be staying at Elias' house.

I am trying to stay away, and this would not help at all.

Well, I am here right now, and it was my choice to come over here. He didn't invite me this time. So I didn't help this way.

How awful would it really be?

"Lu, please, I can't stand not being there if you have another anxiety attack."

I look him in the eyes.

Then with determination, I nod. "Okay. I'll stay here."

His smile lit the whole world.