ELIAS

I knew carrying all my stuff at once was a bad idea. But I didn't feel like going all the way back to my car to bring in all the papers I had to put away and coming all the way back up.

My manly pride relied on it.

I walk into my office and set all the papers on the desk into a messy pile. I would deal with it later. For right now, all I need is my coffee.

I walk out and find Elaine. "I need coffee," I say, and she opens her mouth to say something, but I have already walked away.

Sitting down, I place all the papers straight and organize the ones in the correct order. I put all of them away and glance toward Elaine. She is sitting at her desk, then I look at the clock. I asked her for coffee more than five minutes ago.

Confused, I stand and walk to my door when it opens.

There stands Lu.

Now I am even more confused.

She has a cup of coffee in her hands. "Sorry it took so long. The machine stalled and I had to run it through again. Here you go." She hands me the coffee and almost walks out of the office but I stop her.

"Lu, what are you doing here?" I question, setting the coffee on my desk. Suddenly, the coffee doesn't seem so important.

She was just in the hospital yesterday. Why is she here?

"Didn't your mom tell you that you didn't have to come in today? That you shouldn't be here today?"

Lu's jaw twitches. "She did tell me. And I ignored it. Is that it?" She asks, crossing her arms. I glance down at her outfit, suddenly outraged I find her attractive at this moment when I need to convince her she needs to go home.

"Lu, go home," I order.

She shakes her head. "You'll have to fire me." She leaves the room without another word.

I know my mouth is hanging wide open so I clench it shut. I walk out and find her at her desk, her headpiece now in.

She looks up at me, all innocent looking. Then she smiles.

"Yes, sir?"

I narrow my eyes. "My office. Now." I leave no room for arguments as I walk back to my office, shutting the blinds before I go inside. Everyone else in the office is going to know that something is up, but I don't care. I don't feel like everyone getting to witness what I am about to say to her.

Lu slowly walks in.

I turn around to face her.

"Lu, I am telling you... go home."

She swallows. "Why?"

I frown. "Why? Because you were just in the hospital yesterday for hours! You had an anxiety attack and you need to stay home and rest. Go home!" I practically yell.

She seems unaffected. She doesn't even flinch.

"No."

I am so confused, I can't even form a sentence.

"Why not?" I ask after I find my voice.

She swallows. "Because you don't get to tell me what I should do in my life. You don't get to tell me what I should do or say or feel in this type of situation. You don't get that privilege. I do." She points to herself. "I am here because if I stay at home, I will go crazy! My Mother will treat me like a glass doll and pamper me up, when all I need right now is to stay from that home!"

That home?

"Lu, I-"

"No. Now you have to answer my question. Why do you care?"

I clench my jaw.

"Lucy, you are my employee. You got hurt yesterday, and you should at least take a twenty-four hour period to rest. I am telling you to leave and go home because you need to rest and you need to get better."

Her eyes are full of fire. "I am better." Her voice is strong, but I hear the slight tremble.

"No you aren't. Because if you were, you wouldn't have said you needed to stay away from your house."

Her eyes are full of panic.

I rush to relieve her. "I don't know what happened. I'm just guessing. That was your parents house, right?"

She doesn't even have to nod. I already know the answer.

"Elaine will cover phones. You can go home," I let my voice come out softer.

Defiance is in her eyes, full force. "I can. But I won't. I'll forward all calls to Elaine when I leave for my lunch break," she speaks, her voice flat. She walks out of the room, yanking up the blinds before she goes back to her desk.

I unclench my jaw.

Stubborn woman.

I want to know the whole story to help her better, but I have a feeling that that won't work. She probably hates me right now, and I didn't help her case even when she explained her reasoning.

You don't get to tell me how I should feel.

She's right. I don't get that right.

I never will.

This might be her breaking point with me. My stomach turns at the thought of her hating me after this. Of never wanting to talk to me again, and tolerating working for me.

I think that would break me.

I close my eyes and hold a fist to my forehead. I need to apologize.

But not now.

I watch as Lu walks past my room, not looking in my direction. She heads straight to the kitchen and I imagine going there to apologize, but I think she needed to be calm when I would apologize.

Not yet.

I would just have to figure out a way to do so.

Because not trying to fix this would end horribly.

And I don't want to lose her.

LUCY

I ball my hands into fists as I gather all my stuff up. I had tried to calm down today after talking with Elias, but what he said bothered me to the point where I wanted to punch him so hard he would see stars.

The only good thing that came out of this argument was that it gave me something other than my Dad coming back into my life. Or trying to.

Mom gave me another talk last night about trying to fix this. I woke up after midnight and Mom was still awake. No doubt she couldn't sleep because of the flashbacks, yet she still tried to convince me we needed to do this.

I want a love like that. Even though my Dad hurt her as well as hurt me, she wanted to make amends. She wanted him back into her life even though she sees him every night in her dreams, hurting her again.

I can't wrap my head around it. How could she, out of all people, forgive him? He deserved to go back to jail forever for what he did to us, for what he did to me, yet she didn't care. All she wanted was for us to become a family again and for things to go back to the way it was when we were happy.

Before Dad found out what alcohol did for him.

Mom doesn't realize that I have blocked that part of my life out for good. I never want to go back to that time.

It's impossible.

I look back at Elias, who is still sitting in his office, surrounded by his work. He seems to be even more swamped than usual today.

Well good.

I am surprised at my words. I am usually so quick to forgive and move on, but I feel this one in my heart. It only reminded me of my dad and how he used to tell me that I didn't need to cry when he hurt me.

Which was almost ironic as he hit me, telling me it wasn't right for me to bawl.

That I didn't need to.

But what Elias didn't know what that I was behind letting men control me. Never would I let another man take advantage of my feelings or how I was supposed to feel. I came to the realization that I am supposed to do that. I am the one to know exactly how I am feeling, and to not let anyone tell me otherwise.

So, in a way, Elias is like my Dad.

I don't know if I can ever move past that.

He might think he knows what is best for me, but he's wrong. My Dad thought he knew what was best for me, and that ended up with broken noses and bloody cheeks. He was also wrong.

I look at Elias again, and he hasn't moved. I frown.

Maybe he is thinking over his words like I have been.

Maybe he regrets what he said.

I stiffen. It doesn't matter. He didn't apologize and that was all I wanted.

I leave the building and go home.

Mom is waiting for me.

Which is surprising, because I took more hours today then I needed to, just to spite Elias, so it is already past her bedtime. She looks tired, but that is probably more from her staying up so late last night.

"Hey," I greet, setting my purse down as I sit next to her. "What's wrong? You should go to bed."

She smiles. "I can't sleep, honey."

I swallow, not wanting to say anything that would offend her.

"He came today. He wanted to see you, but I told him you were at work."

I tighten my fist again.

"The first thing he told me was how utterly sorry he was. He used those exact words. He wanted to hug me but the guard wouldn't let him."

I wouldn't have either.

"Lucy, do you think our family can ever be happy again?" She asks, her voice coming out barely above a whisper.

I lay my hand flat against my thigh. "Mom, he isn't our family anymore."

She looks at me, confused. "What do you mean?"

I take her hands in mine. "Dad... he isn't my Dad anymore. He never will be again. And a happy family doesn't mean we need both parents. You and I were happy, right? Just the two of us? We are happy. We are a family."

A tear falls down her cheeks.

"But... I miss him. I miss him." More tears fall.

I gather her up in my arms. "Momma, this isn't him. This isn't the man you love. He's just a shade of who he used to be. You have to understand that." I want to convince her.

She pulls away. "No. I don't believe that. I believe with therapy and time with us, and forgiveness, we can move on. We can all be together."

I want to scream. I want to tell her that her fantasy of us will never come to pass. And if she doesn't realize that, it will destroy her.

She has to understand.

Never in my life have I been so concerned for my Mother. She is slowly slipping into this idea that things can go back. That we don't have to move on, that we just have to go back to the time when we were happy.

Were we ever really happy though?

I glance at the clock, and know that she should go to bed, even if she won't sleep. She will be thinking of this conversation all night so she won't sleep.

Her nightmares are back. She can sleep but it won't be peaceful.

"Let's get you to bed, Mom." I pull her to her feet and lead her to her bed. She doesn't even change, and just lays in her bed in her dress. I sit next to her. "Goodnight," I whisper as I turn off the light.

"Stay with me until I fall asleep, Lucy. Please," she murmurs, and I grab her hand.

I nod in the darkness. "Okay."

It takes close to a half an hour until she is asleep and I leave the room.

I walk into the kitchen, glancing at the clock, feeling the sleep weigh heavy on me. I'm not sure if I am even going to sleep, but I know I need to.

But all I feel is hungry.

My pocket buzzes.

I pull out my phone. I frown when I see a text from Elias.

Can you come over? Like, right now? I need to talk to you.

I clench my jaw, wishing I could just chuck the phone across the room and be ignorant, saying I never even saw the text, but I am curious as to what he needs to talk to me about.

I don't bother texting back. I just grab my purse and leave the house. I get into my car, and drive a couple blocks until I pull into his driveway. I leave my purse in the car, grab my phone and keys, and knock on his front door.

It opens immediately.

What was he doing, waiting there for me?

Creepy.

"Hey," he greets, his hair looking a little ruffled. I almost laugh a little at his disheveled appearance, but decide to hold my tongue. His text sounded serious, so serious I would be.

I realize as I take off my shoes that I am wearing the same clothes I was at work.

He walks into the kitchen and I follow.

On the counter is sitting two packets of the microwavable mac n' cheese.

I can't help my smile.

He glances behind his shoulder and smiles at me. "I thought you might be hungry, so I made these." He hands one to me, and I take it carefully, feeling the heat omit off of it.

Elias grabs his and leans against the counter.

I grab the fork off of the counter and stir around the mac n' cheese. It looks good.

No wonder this is his go to meal.

I blow on it, then take a bite. The cheese basically melts in my mouth, and I am so satisfied in the taste. It's really good.

Elias is smiling at me, eating his in silence.

I decide I don't want to stand, so I hoist myself up on the counter top, letting my feet dangle off. I am right across from Elias as I continue to eat my food.

"So what am I doing here?" I ask, holding my container on my lap, taking a break from continually stuffing it into my mouth.

He clears his throat. "I wanted to talk to you about this morning."

I feel my back stiffen.

"I want to apologize. I didn't have the right to say that, and to be fair, I don't know anything about what happened. But all I knew was that Rich, when he was hurt, was in recovery for so long, and he is still in recovery from what happened to him in jail. And he only got hurt like that twice. And I can't even imagine what you went through everyday of your life. And I just thought that maybe you felt obligated to come in. And I didn't want you to feel that way."

It is an eloquent apology.

But I still am not convinced. "Why now?"

He sighs. "I'm not sure. I guess I was still somewhat mad at you, but I knew that I don't get to tell you how to feel, you're right about that. And I'm sorry."

I am silent.

He goes back to eating his mac n' cheese.

I swallow. "He beat me," I whisper.

He looks up, his eyes wide. He swallows and sets his food down. I watch his fingers, my eyes on the bandages covering them. It brought me back to the first day I came home from school and he sliced my fingers open.

"Lu, I-"

I shake my head. "I don't remember exactly when it started, but it was after he started drinking. He would come home every night after work, get drunk, and when we did something or said something that angered him, he would let us know. By hitting us."

I feel small telling him this story. It isn't something I share often or at all.

The only other person was Travis and Jeanie.

Travis, because I love him, and Jeanie because she was my best friend. I only told the whole story to Travis because I wanted to feel protected, and I knew if he knew all of it, he would feel obligated.

It seemed so clingy to me when I did that, but I guess all I wanted was a guy in my life who would fight for me, and not against me.

He was that guy. Even though he couldn't do anything about it.

I look back to Elias' fingers again, and they are now balled into a fist at his sides.

"He always threatened us if we ever told anyone. I always knew he was angry, but one night I confessed to accidentally spilling it to a stranger at a park, and he hurt me so bad I didn't dare tell anyone else. And mom wouldn't because she knew what he could do to me."

Elias shuts his eyes.

Maybe I was going too deep into detail.

"I told Travis and Jeanie." My voice is flat, and his eyes open, his gaze penetrating. "I cared a lot about Travis and wanted him to know, and Jeanie was my best friend. They never told anyone."

"You couldn't do anything?" He asks, his voice low.

I shake my head. "I was too scared."

He hangs his head.

"Lu, I am so sorry that happened to you," he whispers, taking my hands in his. All I could feel was the bandages around his fingers.

His thumb strokes my hand.

I try to chuckle. "Hey, you said to never say sorry for something you didn't do." I try to joke, but his expression is so serious, I drop the laugh and smile quite quickly.

"But I am sorry. I am sorry this happened to you, and believe me when I say I wish I could do something about it."

I smile. "He went to jail for it. He paid for it."

"Not enough."

I nod. "I agree. He should have stayed there forever, but we barely had enough evidence as it was to even get him convicted. He denied everything. It was a miracle he was convicted, because it was his word against ours."

Elias takes a step closer to me. He looks up at me. "Lu, can I help? Please? I want to help. I want to keep him as far away from you and your mother as possible."

I can't help the smile that comes over my face. "Really?"

He nods.

I almost squeal. Elias is well known in this entire city, and if anyone would be able to get him sent back to prison or even just a court order telling him he couldn't come near us anymore would be him. It would be amazing.

I want to throw my arms around his neck.

But I hesitate. I am already tired, barely awake, running on fumes. And he is also tired, but the joy in his eyes sparked mine.

He wants to help.

I forgo all thoughts of propriety between an employee and boss and throw my arms around his neck. His arms wrap around me as he tugs me closer.

"Thank you," I whisper, feeling better about this whole situation than before.

Dad could go back to jail.

For a very long time.

I could feel safe again.

Elias pulls away, but not far away enough. He still has his arms wrapped around my waist and has not let go. I slide my arms off his neck, but rest them on his chest, clutching his shirt, not really wishing to let go.

He pulls his arms off of my waist and rests them on my lap.

"Lu... I really want to kiss you right now," he whispers, leaning close to me.

Butterflies appear in my stomach.

I can't believe myself when I say, "Well, why not?" I drop my gaze to his lips.

He leans closer. "Cause if I kiss you, I might not be able to stop."

I don't even get a chance to reply or retort before his bandaged hands take my face, bringing it closer as he aggressively places my lips on his.

My eyes widen as he possessively brings me closer to him, deepening the kiss so much I fear I would get lost in such depth. I clutch his shirt tighter, trying to get a grasp on reality that was slowly fading and just turning into us.

Elias and me.

Together.

He pulls away, as if frightened. He rests his forehead on mine, taking in deep breaths.

My heart is pounding.

"That was..." He trails off, pausing. "Long overdue," he finishes and I see his smile.

I can't help mine.

I don't answer.

"Did I scare you off?" He asks, whispering, his breath making tingles go down my spine.

I answer by placing my lips on his.