LUCY

I don't want to be nervous, but it is the only thing I feel.

Even though the last time I saw Elias besides today, he was in the midst of his torn up room, glass everywhere, his fingers cut. I tried not to look at his bandages today when I gave him his coffee.

He looked as if he didn't even realize they were still on him.

It had only been a few days since he cut them, I almost wonder if he knew he could take them off now.

He probably doesn't care.

I decide to get into something else, something not as fancy. I change into a pair of sweatpants and a plain back t-shirt. Perfect. Nothing too slim or showy, just my kind of clothes for a late dinner.

With my boss.

Ughhhh.

I walk out into the living room, and Mom sees me. "Lucy Bleu, what in the world are you wearing?" Her voice is frantic and she glances out the window as if someone is there. "You can't be seen wearing that!" She squeals.

I roll my eyes. "What should I be seen wearing, Mom? A robe?"

She narrows her eyes. "I meant, Jude won't like you in that! Why didn't you keep the outfit you were wearing on? The purple complimented you so well."

I could almost laugh if I didn't already hate this conversation. "Because Mom, I don't dress for him. I dress for me," I say the last words as if the subject is finished.

My mom doesn't give up that easily. Or at all.

"I know that honey, but if you are going to catch a man, you should wear the purple blouse."

I let out a snicker. "It's a good thing then I'm not trying to catch anyone."

Her face alters in a glower.

I can't help but smile.

There's a knock on the door.

I sit on the couch.

Mom goes to answer the door.

"Hey," I hear Elias' voice, and I want to cringe. I had been avoiding him since the day I wrapped his fingers and I would have succeeded had my Mother not entered today's scene.

I could hardly be mad at her. She didn't know any of the real reasons I couldn't move on from Travis and all she wanted for me was for me to move on and that was preferably with a man, such as Elias.

She was doing what she thought was best.

But then again, so did I, when I hypnotized Travis.

My gut tightens.

I don't need to be reminded of that.

A shadow appears over me, and I glance up to see Elias standing next to the chair I was sitting in. I expect him to be looking down at me, but instead he is looking at all the picture frames we had on the shelf over the fireplace.

His eyes are narrowed as he almost scans them.

None of those pictures had Dad in them. The therapist said that Mom shouldn't have to see his face, even in pictures.

Even if the therapist hadn't said that, I still would have taken them away. I don't need to look at his face anymore than in my dreams.

I haven't had one of those kinds of dreams in a long time.

There's a smile on his face now as he looks down at me. "They're nice," he comments, meaning every word.

I nod. "We like to think so," I joke.

He chuckles.

"Dinner you two," Mom calls, and I stand almost immediately. Elias is already walking to the bar, taking a seat on the stool. I sit next to him, and mom passes me two bowls full of casserole. I give one to Elias.

"Smells good," Elias muses under his breath.

I give Mom a smile for my thanks.

She returns it, then subtly winks at me.

I roll my eyes, not as subtly.

"It doesn't smell good?" Elias quips, and I laugh.

"No, no, it does," I say, hiding my pink cheeks, annoyed at the fact that he saw me rolling my eyes after he said that.

The dinner went as quickly as it should have gone. Before long, Mom has already gotten dessert and is serving it.

Nothing in this house was ever complete without dessert.

"Did you talk to Jeanie yet?" Mom asks out of the blue, and I almost choke on my cake. I have to hold back a cough just in case the icing went out my nose.

I swallow. "No, not yet."

Why is she talking about this now?

"Who's Jeanie?" Elias asks, taking a bite of his cake.

That's why.

"One of Lucy's best friends," Mom says proudly. I stare at her, trying to get her to see the hint, but she barely looks at me, "They were best of friends when they were little, but when Travis came along, their relationship became a little rocky."

No, no, no, not this story! Anything but this story!

Elias didn't even have to look interested and my Mom would have continued the topic.

But the weird thing was, Elias did look interested.

All that did was fuel my Mom to become more ecstatic in her story telling.

"Mom, we don't have to talk about this," I say, trying for it to come out light-hearted, but I couldn't hide the whimper from my tone. I only hope none of them noticed.

"Nonsense. It's a great story, especially because you are both now made up."

That seems to perk Elias' ears up.

"Yeah, nonsense Lu," Elias copies, laughing.

I feel my cheeks burn.

"So, anyway," Mom continues, and I want to disappear, "Lucy was in love with Travis, and so was Jeanie. But Travis chose Jeanie, and they got married a few years ago, and Lucy didn't talk with them anymore."

I can feel Elias' stare.

But Travis chose Jeanie.

I close my eyes. Yes he did.

Yes he did.

"But then after they got married, they got divorced not even a year later! He and Lucy got together, finally, and they even had gotten engaged. But then it never worked out, and she dumped him."

I open my eyes at the lie mom just told. Except she didn't know it was a lie.

"But Jeanie and her never made up, until last week, when they started talking again, and now they are best friends again. I'm still waiting for Jeanie to come over, which was why I asked if she had talked to her."

She pauses.

"It's all good, because Travis is history, good riddance."

I bit my lip.

Everything is quiet now. And I know Elias was looking at me, staring me down, but I don't want to look at him.

But I do.

His eyes are clouded with so many emotions I couldn't figure out which one is more prominent at the moment. But he seems to be the one looking into my eyes, trying to figure out how I was feeling.

I suddenly become scared he can see right through me.

But he barely knows me. He can't know that I still love Travis.

I'm not that obvious.

He finally looks away.

I don't know what to think or feel. I couldn't believe Mom had said any of that, but I know what she is doing. She wants Elias to get jealous, or whatever she thinks he feels for me, and act upon it.

Little did she know that he couldn't possibly like me.

I wouldn't let him.

And I know she is trying to get me to realize how awful that whole experience was. She seems to be pushing me in her own way and that is one of the ways. Her comment at the end confirmed that.

Travis is history, good riddance.

I don't quite feel that way.

Elias, sitting next to me, feels tense, almost stiff as a stick. I could feel something radiating off of him, but I couldn't place it. I couldn't tell if he was angry or just being moody.

There's a knock on the door.

Mom has already begun another conversation with Elias, so I stand. "I'll get it," I mutter, although I'm not totally sure whether they heard me or not. They seem lost in another conversation.

I walk to the front door and open it.

The person I see makes my heart stop.

"Dad?"

His face is unmistakable to misplace. I would know his toothy smile, spiky hair, and grey beard anywhere.

But what I don't quite understand is how he is standing right in front of me.

Out of jail.

I clutch my chest, trying to breathe. Just seeing him, hearing him breathe, set me off, and I suddenly couldn't find any air.

Where did it all go?

There were two men behind him in police uniform, and I see the red and blue blinking lights behind them that could only belong to a cop car.

"Lu?" Dad asks, walking closer, taking a step into our home, my home!

I try to step away, but he has already grabbed my arm.

Mom and Elias are now behind me, and I don't even have to tell Mom who is here from the shriek that escapes her lips.

But I can't even function because the next thing I know I am on the ground.

My vision goes.

ELIAS

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I hate the sound of all the machines. It brought me back to two years ago, where I sat in the hospital, staring at my brother who was hanging on by a thread after he came out of surgery.

After they told me that he could be paralyzed for life.

But now all I see was Lu, laying on the white bed, surrounded by machines, tubes going in her nose and in her arm. Her hair is spread like a halo along the pillow, and I couldn't think of a better time when she looked perfect than right now.

As soon as I saw her fall to the ground and her eyes close, I had the biggest panic attack of my life. It took everything in me not to panic, but with her mother laying on the floor, covering her face, and who seemed to be her father, bent over her, panicking, I knew I was the only one who was going to do anything.

Even the police didn't seem to notice.

It was when I carried her outside did they call for the ambulance.

All they had said when we brought her in was that she just suffered a major anxiety attack.

I want to grab her hand, hold it in mine, and stroke it, but I know all the eyes that are watching. The doctor only let one person in here with her at a time, and her mom couldn't do it, and her dad had to stay outside. So I was the only person to do it.

Someone knocks on the door, and walks in.

I turn to see a blondie and a redhead come to the side of the bed. The blondie goes to the other side, across from me, a frown on her face.

She looks at me. "What happened?"

I swallow. "Anxiety attack."

Her eyes are full of concern. I look back to the redhead, and she looks concerned, but not as much. It's as if she almost doesn't want to be here.

Well, neither to do, seeing as hospitals bring back horrible memories, but Lu needs me. She may not think she does, but she won't know the chaos that has happened until she wakes up.

"Jeanie, we should wait outside." The redhead calls the blondie, Jeanie.

So this is Jeanie.

My gut tightens even as I think of the man named Travis. I don't know a lot about Lu but tonight opened my eyes. To even think she was engaged... tore me up inside.

Which was stupid, because her mom said she was over him.

But as soon as I look into Lu's eyes, I know that is the biggest lie ever told.

She still loves him.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I didn't know. Lu wasn't a very open person about her feelings, but I feel like this was a pretty important fact.

Especially now I know why she's been avoiding me.

Travis.

I look at Jeanie as she leaves with the redhead. I wanted to ask her more, more about Lu's life, more about this Travis, and what all went down in their relationship. Because if Lu still loves him, why on earth would she dump him?

The answer is: she didn't.

Her mom must not know.

I look at Lu. What else does she keep secret from her mom, from anyone else? We all have our secrets, but this one I wanted to know. I wasn't a curious person, but right now, I am curious. I want to know what happened.

Why did he dump her?

Whoever he is, and whatever his reason, he's a fool. Because Lu is one of the greatest people I have ever met, and any man who leaves her has to be completely stupid.

The machine starts beating rapidly all of a sudden.

I am about to call the nurse when someone grabs my hand.

I look at Lu, seeing her wide eyes, her chest going up and down so heavily. She grasps my hand so tightly it begins to hurt.

She meets my eyes. "Where is he?" She asks, breathless.

"Who?"

"Dad." Her eyes are frantically taking in the entire room. Once she doesn't see him, her breathing begins to calm, but as she looks at me, I know she still wants an answer.

"Outside. He wasn't allowed in."

If I had never heard of the word relief before, I would now because of Lu. Her face automatically became solaced, and the machine stopped beating rapidly.

"Thank you," she murmurs, letting go of my hand, but I grasp her hand harder.

She looks at me, frowning.

"Don't... do that," I say, trying to be angry, trying to reprimand her, but it came out soft, "Please don't do that again," my voice came out quiet.

She tries for a smile, "Almost die? Yes sir."

I match her smile.

"But really," I say, leaning closer. "Lu, I swear, I thought you were dead."

She swallows. "I'm sorry."

It wasn't her fault. She's apologizing again for something she had no control over, and I hated it. I hated that she felt the need to do that.

"It wasn't your fault," I say, my voice hard.

"But I'm sorry nonetheless."

I decide to voice my opinions about that, "Lu, you don't have to apologize for something you didn't do, or you didn't have control over. You need to stop doing that."

She nods. "It's natural for me."

I shake my head, "You never should apologize for something you didn't do."

Lu shakes her head. "Elias, I apologize not because I am in the wrong, I apologize because it's a way I can relate to that person. I can... show my sympathy. I can try to pretend I'm in their shoes, and I would apologize for it because not everyone deserves to go through that kind of stuff."

I nod. "Okay. Well, you should know. You should never have to apologize to me."

Her eyes twinkle.

"She's awake!"

I look over my shoulder to see her mom come into the room and hug her. I feel Lu break my grasp on her hand, and I pull my hand back just as Jeanie and her friend comes in.

"I'm okay," Lu says when her mom frees her from the hug.

Jeanie steps forward.

Lu notices immediately. "Hey, what are you doing here?" She asks.

"Seeing how you were. Your mom texted me," Jeanie says, walking over to her and embracing her in a solid hug.

When they pull back, I notice Lu looking at the redhead, who stood far off, her arms crossed over her chest. I notice her expression, and it lacks sympathy.

That angers me.

Lu places her hand on my hand.

Let it go, she seems to say.

I nod.

"Hi, Franny," Lu calls out to the redhead, who finally looks at her.

"Hi," she responds, her voice not unkind.

"Thanks for coming," Lu says, smiling.

She receives no answer from Franny.

The doctor comes in, then stops when he sees everyone. "Well, isn't this a lively crew? Hi everyone."

We all greet him.

"I'm going to need everyone except the mom to leave as I check up on miss Bleu," he states, smiling at all of us.

I stand up from my chair as Jeanie and Franny head out.

Lu looks up at me and smiles.

"See you later," she declares.

I stay silent as she lets go of my hand, and I walk out of the room, leaving Lu with her mom and the doctor.