JEANIE

I wipe my brow with the back of my hand as I lean over the counter. I hold the cucumber still as I begin to slice it. It takes me less than a few seconds to cut it all up and I lay it on the tray that held the rest of the veggies.

Mom, because it has now been one year since John went to jail, decided to throw a party. I told her that we don't have to remember it, but she told me it was the day she became free of the man who hurt me.

I didn't argue with her. I wouldn't be the one to take this from her.

Fran and Jared are invited, and they accepted earlier. I am glad we don't have to spend this day alone, and I need to talk with Jared anyway.

I was going to invite Lucy, but I thought it might be too soon, especially since Fran doesn't know I made up with her. She wasn't going to be too happy about that.

I didn't know what anger really was until Fran described me to be how she felt when she found out Lucy was working with John. I didn't think I could ever be scared of my best friend, but I was frightened by her words.

No, it's better for right now if she didn't know I had forgiven Lucy.

As much as I loved Fran, it took her a little while to get over her hate. I learned that as a teenager, when I came home to her hating her life, her parents.

Luckily, Jared came into her life and changed all that.

She still gets angry though.

Mom walks into the kitchen, looking all dazzled up. Her hair is curled, laying nicely on her shoulders, and she has a cute sundress on.

"Hey, gorgeous," I call out to her, and she just rolls her eyes.

"You like it?" She asks, her voice genuinely curious. I nod, smiling.

"You look great, Mom," I urge. She seems to accept my words and walk into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. She doesn't say anything, just sits there, and I know she is thinking.

I feel as if I never really knew my Mother until this past year. Everything she does, surprises me. I had always known her to be jumpy, energetic, and a little stressed. And she is still all those things, but the thing that stuck out the most to me was how calm she is too. I always wondered who I got my calm from, and I believe it was from Mom.

Sending me away to boarding school wasn't the best thing for me. But she was under John's thumb, and even though I believe he loved her, he didn't do what was best.

For either of us.

I missed six years of my Mother's life when I left, and she missed six of mine. There will always be that gap in her memory of those six years where she didn't know who I was. It was stolen from her, and she will never get that back.

But, here we are, closer than ever. I never thought that I would be close, ever, trying to balance all of our differences, but lately I've realized how similar we are.

The doorbell rings, and Mom shoots up from her seat. I don't even get a chance to move a step before she has opened the door.

Fran and Jared spill into the room. They have a few bags on each of their arms, and I smile, walking over to take some. Fran gladly hands me two of them, and I realize they are the heaviest. I peer inside to see bottles of juice.

No wonder.

Jared sets the rest of the bags on the counter, and I open them, pulling out the cookies and bread. I grab plastic cups and plates out of another.

I shoot Jared a look. "Jared, you made your pregnant wife carry the juice? While you carried all the plastic stuff? We have to talk about this," I quip, placing my hands on my hips, deadpanning.

Fran laughs, while Jared defends himself. "I had the cookies," he fights.

I just shake my head, holding my expression. "Shame. We have to talk about this."

"You have my permission to give him a good beating," Fran jokes, giving me a wink, making me smile.

"Oh, I will," I say, walking up to him. He doesn't look at all scared, so I just punch him real hard in the arm and he actually cringes.

And this is the guy who was a boxer, whose muscles are the size of my head.

"Ow, Jeanie," he complains, and I give him a peck on the cheek.

"That was only because I felt bad..." I pause, "Because you're such a girl," I finish, and Fran bear hugs me, holding her stomach from laughing so hard.

Mom joins in our humor, giving Jared a hug.

"Do they bully you?" Mom asks Jared, and he gives out a fake pout.

"Yes." His face is hilarious.

I can't give out a retort because I am laughing so hard, and Fran looks like she is going to pee her pants.

"I missed you," she whispers in my ear, and I pinch her side, making her jump.

"I know," I tease and she rolls her eyes.

Mom sets up everything while I reluctantly give Jared a hug, who still has the pout on his face, his bottom lip stuck out. He really pulls it off well, and I can actually see him doing it as a child.

All the food is ready, and Jared leads the way.

Mom insists.

I glance around to the three most important people in my life right now. I could get used to this sight, to this life. I believe that I could be happy, and maybe find some relief to my pain.

Travis was a huge part of my life, and without him here, a chunk of my happiness was gone with him. If he were here, I'd only imagine the conversation, the hugs, the laughs.

Just him.

Fran must have sensed my thoughts because she grasps my arm. "We'll find him, Jeanie," she tries to assure me, but she can't know that. No one can.

He could be gone for good for all I know.

I squeeze my eyes shut. I shouldn't have let that thought even enter my mind. I can't imagine my life permanently without him in it, let alone him not in this world.

He's here. I know he's here.

I just gotta track him down.

Jared looks at me. "Jeanie, you want some food?" he asks, then he turns to Fran, who must have mouthed something about leaving me alone. "Nevermind," he speaks.

I smile, putting on my brave face. "Yeah, I'm coming."

Everything smells amazing, and I walk through the buffet line, piling food on my plate. I save room on my plate for the cookies at the end. Jared already took half of them.

Travis would have taken the other half.

We all take a seat at the dining room table. Jared has already eaten half his food by the time I sit down, and I laugh at him, and he just looks confused.

The conversation goes many ways. Mom asks them about the baby, and Jared and Fran just look happy and beam brightly at the subject.

"Are you going to find out?"

Jared nods while Fran shakes her head. He looks at her, incredulous.

"We aren't?" He asks, stopping mid bite.

Fran laughs. "I want it to be a surprise."

Jared picks at his food. "I hate surprises," he mutters under his breath, but he was always never good at that. We all heard him.

"It'll be a good one," Fran decides.

The look on Jared's face said that they were definitely going to be talking about it, just not here and now. No need for them to have an argument at the table.

I remember those. Arguments with the spouse.

Travis got so upset when I decided to invite Mom and John over the night he was supposed to watch his game. I had never seen him get so selfish over his football game.

Turns out, it was just a ploy to get me to leave him alone because I don't like watching those. I usually hang out in my room or even leave the house. His cheering cracked me up, but other than that, I didn't want to have anything to do with it.

He had been trying to make dinner for us because it was around my birthday.

We had the biggest argument.

I laugh a little, quietly, to myself. I didn't necessarily miss the arguments, but I would take those any day to have the person I had them with back.

Maybe, someday, if I don't find him, I can move on with my life, and forget the life I could have had if I wasn't so judgmental and emotional toward him. He only wanted to protect me, and I pushed him away so hard he hid from me.

I blame myself.

Travis had always been the strong one out of the two of us. I remember that well. It was included in so many of my letters I wrote to him.

I think of those letters, hidden under my bed in a cardboard box. I look at them so often I should just leave them out, but I have a nosy Mother, who would, if she found them, probably cry and never shut up about them.

"Jeanie?"

I look up. "Yeah?" I glance around the table.

Jared has a joyful look on his face as he looks down at his phone. Fran is clutching my hand tightly, and Mom has her hands over her mouth.

I am confused.

"What?" I ask, wanting to know what was the matter.

Jared smiled. "I found him."

His words don't compute. "Found who?"

"I found Travis."

Finally, what he says takes hold in my brain.

Travis.

I begin to weep.

TRAVIS

I have spent the entire night thinking over every detail of what would happen when I would see Jeanie.

I would run to her, sweep her up in my arms, plant a kiss on her lips and ask her to marry me right then and there. And she would say yes, and we would get married in less than an hour, with our families present.

And then we would be happy.

It took everything in me not to just pack up everything and leave.

But it was gonna take a little bit more than that. I had to think things through this time. I had to figure out a way to know for sure that she wouldn't reject me when I got there.

Nothing came to mind.

I couldn't sleep. I am raking my mind as to what I could do to make sure.

It was gonna be a leap of faith. I had to remember the fact that she used to love me, and that fueled me.

She couldn't reject me.

Not again. Not after so many times.

FRANNY

The news brought a chill to my heart that I didn't know would appear but it did.

Travis is found. Jeanie can find him, and take him back. They can finally be together after two whole years.

Maybe a sort of relief can be found in her pain.

What about mine?

I roll over to the other side of the bed, laying my arms over the spot where Jared would usually lay. But he was called on duty at two in the morning, so I lay here in the dark, wishing he was here to wrap me in his arms and tell me it was alright.

Travis is my older brother. Or rather, he acted like it, and I let him. He was the first male I let into my life that stayed there, and that showed a positive impact in my life.

He even introduced me to Jared.

My love.

I smile, clutching my stomach.

But thinking about Travis, and letting him back, bringing him back, makes my heart ache. Ever since the divorce, I always had mixed feelings. I took Jeanie's side, and disgraced Travis for hurting her. Then when we discovered the true meaning on why he left, I wasn't sure which side to believe, or to side with.

Jared told me we can't have sides.

But that was the only thing I grew up with.

My Mom would either be against me or for me. But it was usually that she sided against me, in anything that I did. Even in my marriage.

I want to forgive Travis for what he did, I really do, but I can't seem to. He, one of my best friends, left. He disappeared with no goodbye, and as much as he hurt Jeanie, I felt that hurt for myself.

He hurt me.

Travis, my older brother who I trusted so much, was invited to my wedding. He was going to be Jared's best man. We had it all planned. He was going to walk down the aisle at my wedding with Jeanie.

He was going to have a speech. He was going to talk about Jared and me. He was going to make the whole crowd laugh with the stories he would tell.

But he didn't.

He never bothered to show up.

We never knew why. Until Lucy showed up, and once we all learned the truth, I wanted to hurt her so bad. I still do.

Lucy or Travis. I'm not sure who I despise more at the moment.

I hear the front door open.

I sit up, hearing his footsteps come right to our bedroom door, and it opens. I see him, in his uniform, walk in. He barely notices me, and gets undressed and into his pajamas. He looks over at me, almost recognizing I was waiting for him.

He crawls into bed, and lays his head on his pillow.

"Hey," he whispers, placing his hand over my cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. "Why are you still up?" He asks.

I smile. "I couldn't sleep."

He swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing, "Travis?" He asks.

Jared could always read my mind.

I nod. "Yeah."

"I can't wait to have him back. I miss him. I didn't realize how much I did until I got the text that they found him." He has a cute smile on his face, and I don't realize I am holding my breath until it comes out as a grunt.

His brows furrow.

"What?" He asks.

I take his hand off my face, and think about rolling over, ignoring the question entirely. Or I could just play it off, pretending it was nothing.

But I couldn't. Not to him. Our marriage has already been hard, and I don't want to keep that going. Besides, he deserves to know.

"I've been thinking... I'm not too sure about him coming back," I speak softly.

He frowns. "'Cause of Jeanie?"

"No. 'Cause of me."

He sits up. "Franny... I thought we talked about this. I'm not upset over the wedding thing anymore. I've moved on."

"Well, I haven't!" I raise my voice a little, whipping over to the side of the bed, facing the other way. I feel like a two year old, but I don't care. I couldn't let this go, no matter how hard I tried, and he was going to find out anyway.

His hand touches my shoulder, and I almost shrink away.

"Franny," he coaxes. "Are you still holding onto that?" He asks the question kindly, but I feel my anger flare up. No, he doesn't get to say that, after so many years of him holding onto his anger against his father.

He couldn't lecture me on this.

"You mean just like you?" I snap.

His hand disappears from my shoulder as quickly as he put it there. I want to feel guilty, but all I feel is my anger.

"I'll take the couch," he informs me, not sounding upset.

I roll over, watching as he grabs his pillow. His feet pad against the floor as he leaves the room, and shuts the door.

What is wrong with me?

He is just trying to help.

I think about going to him, apologizing, and kissing him on the mouth. I don't like the arguing, especially because we did it so often, but my pride got in the way. I don't want to know I am wrong, and he is just being kind.

So I lay in bed for what I think is forever until I throw the covers off of me, and quietly walk out of the room. I walk through the hallway, until I spot his figure on the couch, bundled up in a blanket. I couldn't tell if his eyes are open, but he falls asleep so fast I doubt that he is still asleep.

I kneel next to him, watching his chest move up and down and I smile.

Oh, how I love this man.

His eyes open.

I let out a small smile. "Hi."

He doesn't say anything.

I swallow. "I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't have snapped." I hang my head, feeling my heart pounding. I'm not sure why it has always been so hard for me to apologize, but it feels hard, even now.

I feel his hand play with my hair, and I look to him, not moving my head.

"Come here," he orders softly, opening his arms, and I crawl onto the couch next to him, letting him wrap his arms around me, placing the blanket over us. All I can feel is his breath on my neck.

The pit in my stomach is gone, as well as my fast heartbeat.

We are okay.

For now.

"I love you, Franny," he states.

"I love you," I reply.

"I think when Travis comes back, you need to talk to him. Smooth things out with him. And I'm not telling you this because I do it perfectly, you know very well that I don't. I'm just trying to speak from experience, and it worked for me. And I want it to work for you."

He pauses.

"You taught me that."

I smile, curling my body into him more. "Thank you."

He kisses my head. "Anytime."