LUCY

"You have to invite him over for dinner!"

I roll my eyes. "Mom, no. That's weird. I haven't even known the guy for a month and you already want to invite him to dinner? No, I'm not doing it."

"But Lucy-"

I give her a look. "Mom, I'm going to be late for work."

She sighs. "Okay, Lucy. You don't have to ask. I'll let you get going," she says, an almost sorrowful look on her face.

I give her a kiss on her cheek and walk out the door. As appealing as it is, inviting Elias over for dinner, I feel too insecure to even think of it.

It isn't like I liked the guy, that's near impossible.

As stupid as it is, Travis still claims my thoughts.

I felt dumb when I asked for Jeanie because if she knew what I thought, she would never forgive me.

But I couldn't help it. I had been in love with Travis for years, and just because I let him go doesn't mean my love for him would disappear. It was going to take time.

And then I think of Elias. If he grew to like me, I would feel horrible. I could lead him on when my heart was still claimed by another.

No, it's better if he stays away, keeping our relationship strictly business.

So I have to make sure if he invites me to do something with him, I will have to come up with an excuse. Because I enjoyed myself too much when I played basketball with him.

And I for sure am not going to be another one of his secretaries he would date then fire once he got tired of me.

I don't want to think so little of him though. I barely know him.

But from what Deke said about me being like the other woman, it made my skin crawl. I told myself that was not who I was, even though Elias assured me it wasn't like that.

Well, he assured Deke.

I don't trust him, Elias, as much as I like him.

The drive to work seems to go faster than usual, and I find myself already at my desk, setting down my things. Then I open the door to Elias' office, giving him a big smile.

"Morning!"

He doesn't look up, but does a little wave.

I smile. At least he did something.

I applaud him though. He acts like our relationship is strictly business, which is good. I know men who act completely differently around those he knows outside of work.

But Elias does his job correctly. I don't have to worry about becoming one of his secretaries that he dated.

I haven't obviously been here when he did date those women, so I even wonder if he acted the same.

I hear my intercom ring, "Lu?"

"Coming," I answer, standing. I straighten my pencil skirt as I walk around the corner to Elias' office. I walk inside the doors.

He is still looking at his papers.

"Coffee?"

I nod. "Be right back," I say, turning to walk out the door.

I have been so accustomed to making his coffee now, I return with it in hand in five minutes after being asked for it. I set it on his desk carefully.

"Anything else?" I ask.

He lifts his head, and it was like he saw me for the first time today. "Lu!" He exclaims, smiling. "Thank you." He takes his coffee and goes to take a sip.

"Sir?" I say quickly before his lips can touch the mug.

He raises his eyebrows at me.

"It's hot."

He sets it down. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I say, turning to leave the room.

"Would you like to have lunch with me today?"

I sigh, turning back around. "Not today, sir. But thank you." I can see the confusion in his eyes, but I am glad he chose not to ask why.

"Okay," is all he says, and I breathe out a sigh of relief.

I walk back to my desk.

The rest of the day goes by as expected. He took his lunch break on time, in his office, and I got all the calls throughout the whole day. Honestly, they were mostly repetitive calls, but I was glad I didn't need help to do it. I feel pretty confident about it all.

Just as the day is ending, and everyone is leaving, I hear the elevator. I frown but think nothing of it. I begin to gather up all my stuff and put everything away. Then I go into Elias' office, grab his coffee mug to put away. He barely notices me and continues putting away his work.

I walk back out into the lobby to put away his mug when I see a person at my counter. I don't see a face, but know I have to go and wait on her. But when I walk back out, I am surprised to see my mother standing there.

"Mom?"

She smiles at me. "Hi, dear."

I swallow, walking over to her, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to speak with Mr. Castle," she says in a very enunciated tone. I frown.

"For what?"

"That's for Mr. Castle to know." She gives me a wink.

Well, the workday isn't completely over, and I know he will be totally fine with meeting her, but I have a pit in my stomach when seeing her smile.

"I'll get him," I say, turning around and walking into Elias' office. "Sir?" I ask, and he looks up. "Someone here to see you."

"Send them in," he says.

I nod, going back to my Mother. "Come on," I say, leading her to his office. I open the door for her, then close them.

Just as I walk around the corner, I can't help but look over my shoulder to see his reaction.

And there he is, a huge smile on his face, walking over to my mother, shaking her hand. He must have seen me stop because he looks over at me for a split second and gives me a wink.

I can't help but frown.

He doesn't seem to notice and continues to talk to my mother, but I don't stick around. I get everything ready and sit down to wait for them to finish.

I have a pretty good idea about what they were discussing, and I am dreading every second of it.

Finally, Elias walks my mom out. He gives her another handshake, and sneaks a look at me, still smiling. "I look forward to it, Mrs. Bleu," he says, turning to my Mom.

She smiles. "As do we, Mr. Castle."

He grins, and mom walks past us, not even bothering to wait for me.

I turn to Elias. "What was-"

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says, and walks back into his office.

Fine, be that way.

I take my car home, not sure what to say to my Mother, asking her what she said, but I know she will spill her guts as soon as I park in the driveway. She was never one to hold back exciting news.

And sure enough, as soon as I get out of my car, mother stands there, a very big smile on her face. I brace myself for the news.

"I did it," she says suspiciously.

"Oh, yes?"

She walks with me as I head into the house. I hang up my keys as she hovers by my side, no doubt wanting me to ask, but I don't feel like playing her games. But if she asked him to dinner...

"He's coming tomorrow night for dinner!" She says happily, clapping her hands together.

I don't think I have ever glared at my mother ever, but I do now. But she doesn't seem fazed by it and keeps chattering about it like it's the greatest news on earth.

Well, it isn't. It's horrible news.

I place my hands on my temples, rubbing them. I could feel a headache coming on. This is exactly what I don't want to happen. I am trying to distance myself from him.

I guess she doesn't know that even though I told her not to.

"Why?" I ask, cutting her off as she chose what she was going to make for our esteemed guest.

"What do you mean?" She asks, innocence oozing from her.

"Don't play dumb, Mom. I told you not to."

She clicks her tongue at me. "Actually, you said you weren't. I never said anything about me asking until you said no. That way you didn't have to go through that weird conversation you didn't want to have. I had it for you, and let me tell you, he's very nice."

"Mom! You knew what I meant when I said I wouldn't ask him! I just didn't want him over at all," I argue, somehow hoping she'll cancel it with him. But that was far fetched. She would never, and has never canceled on a dinner before.

"Lucy, I invited him over because you need people in your life right now! Jeanie, Franny, Jared, and Travis, apparently want nothing to do with you! And I don't know why. I think you need to get out there and make some friends. And I think Mr. Castle could be a good one! Maybe you could even fall in love with him," she says, the smile still on her face.

No, no, no. This is not what I want.

There is no way I will fall in love with this man. I can't.

"I can't! And I won't!"

Mom sighs. "Lucy, you can't stop who you may love. Maybe he is the one you need right now. I do think he likes you. And he is cute, like you said," she squeals as if she is a teenage girl.

I regret telling her about him.

Of what I thought of him.

Why didn't I keep my mouth shut?

"Yeah sure, maybe he is, but that doesn't mean he's the one!"

Mom walks into the kitchen, the innocence still oozing. She doesn't understand though why I can't like Elias right now.

And I won't ever tell her why. She would hate me.

She would hate me so much.

"I think he is! Since you've moved on from Travis-"

"I haven't!" I yell, raising my voice so high it cracks.

Mom looks at me, her eyebrows furrowed. She stands completely still.

"You... haven't?"

I shake my head, a feeling of helplessness comes over me. She could never know.

"No Mom, I still love him. It's stupid and pointless, but I still love him. I think a part of me always will even though he never loved me like that. And I feel so stupid I still do, but I can't help it. For as long as I can remember, he was the one who got me through everything with Dad. He was always there, and that's when I fell in love. He cared when dad didn't."

"He knew?" She asks in a small voice.

She's asking about how dad would beat me up. "Yeah, he knew."

Mom looks sad. I want to wrap my arms around, but we are talking about me right now and that would give me comfort.

"What did he do?"

I shrug. "Nothing. I told him to never do anything. I knew how you felt, and how I felt, but I always knew he was there for me. I always hoped it was Travis who called the police that night when they caught him, but I'd never know. And if I did, I think I would have been in love more."

Mom swallows. "So, Mr. Castle...?"

I sigh. "Will probably never happen. And if it eventually does, it'll be a long time. I can't give my heart to another when somebody always has it."

"Why do you think you aren't over Travis yet?"

I shrug. "I don't know. All I know is that I think of him often. And every time I do, I feel more and more selfish, so I guess that has to mean something."

"Guilt."

I look at her instantly. "What?"

"You feel guilty." And it's not a question, she's stating it like a fact.

"I'm not sure-"

"What happened between the two of you, sweetie? What really happened?" She asks, sitting down on a bar stool, patting the one next to her.

I don't know why, but I feel tears spring to my eyes.

I wipe them away. "I already told you," I say, staying where I am.

She sighs. "Okay." She doesn't push it. Sometimes I wish she would, but I would still say no. Or deny anything.

Because she can't know.

She leaves the kitchen and goes to her bedroom. I watch as she goes, but then turn my attention back to the kitchen island I was looking at.

I turn away from it, going to my room as well.

Elias is still coming tomorrow, but at least she knows the truth.

It most likely will never work out with Elias, and somehow I'm okay with that.

The last thing I need in my life right now is a love interest. At least one that isn't in love with someone else.

I can't do that again either.

If I was to love someone, he can't love another.

That would just end in more heartbreak.

So hopefully, tomorrow night will go quickly and he won't stay for dessert. Although knowing mom she would allow him to sleep on the couch if it meant he could stay longer.

She sure is persistent.

Hopefully, that shouldn't get me into too much trouble tomorrow night.