JEANIE

Dear Travis,

In this letter, I am not going to talk about you the whole time. I realized I've been doing that. And it needs to stop.

You're never going to be mine again.

You know that, right?

I know that. Partly because you don't remember who I am, and partly because I won't let you be mine again.

And there I go again. Talking about you.

Lucy and I grew up best friends. But when I had to leave, I think that friendship is broken a little.

Then I came back. And the only person she would talk about is you. I hated you at first because I lost my friend to you. She only cared about you, and not our friendship.

But then I met you.

And I didn't hate you. Not because you were attractive, good looking, and obviously a hunk, but because of who you were.

You never led Lucy on. Never. You always told her that I was the one for you.

And then I denied it. And told her that I wasn't interested.

I forget how many times you asked me out on a date, and I kept refusing.

But I'll never forget those three proposals.

Lucy never talked to me after we got engaged. I knew she hated me.

Because she wanted you. But never got you.

And now she does. You're engaged to the woman who has wanted you from the beginning.

She's got you.

Just another reason why you won't ever be mine again.

Jeanie.

Caryn took the driver's wheel this time. I sat in the back.

I can't stop the butterflies and goosebumps that are all throughout my body. I hadn't been this nervous since I came home from boarding school.

But this time I wasn't meeting my stepfather who hated me; I am meeting my ex-husband, who has forgotten me.

We pull into Lucy's driveway, and I see that Travis' car isn't here yet. I let out a breath of relief.

After we park, I am the last out of the car and into the house.

"Hey there!" Lucy greets the girls. But when she gets to me, her smile dissipates, and I see behind her fake smile that she is baring her teeth.

Sheesh. It isn't like I came here to steal her man.

Yeah, but she doesn't know that.

We get inside, and I try not to scrutinize her house. This is her grandparent's old house, which she must have bought when they died a few years ago.

I remember coming to this house.

That is before Travis.

And I suddenly feel like this place is invading everything I felt. I feel like I shouldn't be here.

We all sat down in her living room, where she serves us coffee and tea, but I don't have the appetite for either. I sat still, wanting Travis to not show up.

Never thought I would ever want that, but there is nothing I dreaded more than is to sit through a conversation with my ex-husband and his new fiancée.

Who both apparently don't remember I was once married to him.

Travis doesn't show up for the first ten minutes, and I thought that maybe he isn't coming. But, just my luck, he is just late.

"Ah, Travis, there you are! I was wondering where you were," Lucy says, embracing him, planting a kiss on his cheek.

I close my eyes.

"Yeah, sorry, the traffic is horrible at the supermarket," He says, and I open my eyes to see him handing Lucy some fruit.

She places it on the counter, and hand in hand, they both walk into the living room.

When his eyes meet mine, I see his body stiffen. Like he didn't know I'd be here.

Well, neither did I until a little while ago.

They sit in the loveseat, and Caryn strikes up a conversation with Lucy, and Susie jumps in, keeping the mood pumpy.

Travis sat quietly, answering any question that the girls have for him politely, but Lucy mostly reigned the conversation.

After a little while, Lucy suggests we go and eat. We all settle around the table, Caryn, and Susie on one side, with Travis and Lucy on the other. I am at the end of the table, farthest away from everyone else.

Which I don't exactly mind.

The food is delicious, the pork sandwiches hitting the spot. It is one of the first meals I had eaten since the girls got here that I am able to finish.

Lucy, as always, has a salad though. She tried her best not to eat meat when she is a teenager and has apparently kept it up.

During the meal, the girls asked Lucy and Travis how they met and how long they've been engaged.

I feel sick when they said for the past year and a half they were dating, and just recently they got engaged.

A year and a half. is Travis already secretly dating Lucy during the last few weeks of our marriage?

I continue to feel sick.

And of course, Caryn has to ask the question I don't want answered.

"When are you guys getting married?"

"August 17th," Lucy says, smiling as she looks at Travis.

Less than a year.

Until he is Lucy's.

If only I didn't want him back.

We soon have dessert, which just happened to be a few assorted cookies she got from a bakery.

I only made myself have one.

Lucy starts to clean up, and the girls help her. I start to help, but I don't miss the glare I get sent when I try.

So I excuse myself out to the back porch.

I find a swinging bench and take a seat. I swing back and forth quietly, watching the sunset slowly.

The door opens and Susie walks out, looking for me. She smiles when she sees me.

"Aren't you cold?" She asks, rubbing her arms as she takes a seat next to me.

I shake my head, "No," I say, swinging back and forth contentedly.

She leans her head on my shoulder, "Do you wish you hadn't come?"

I shrug. "I think I would enjoy it better if I still didn't like Travis. But I do, so."

She nods. "I should have known how this would make you feel. Sorry for making you come."

I smile at her. "It's fine Susie. Really. Don't feel bad."

"I know. But... can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Did Travis really love you?"

I frown. "He said he did."

"Then... why did he leave?"

"I've been asking that question to myself for over a year Susie. And I still don't have an answer."

"Did you ever try to find him?"

I sigh, "No, but I wish I did sometimes. But after tonight, I think if I did, it would have made it somehow worse."

"How come?"

"Because... when Lucy said that they had been dating for a year and a half... it goes into the last few weeks of mine and Travis' marriage. I don't want to say it, or believe it, but I think he might have been cheating on me."

"No. He wouldn't. Travis wouldn't do that."

"Unless Lucy lied. But why would she?"

"The real question, why would Travis ever date or marry a girl like her? Not to be rude, but Lucy is the kind of girl to get what she wants whenever she wants it. What if she coerced Travis into leaving you?"

I try to reject the idea, but somehow it kind of makes sense. But that still doesn't explain how he doesn't know me at all. I have pictures to prove that we were married. They are all under my bed.

"What is Lucy's favorite thing to do when we were teenagers? Remember what she did at the family reunion we brought her to?" I ask her.

"There you two are!" A new voice interrupts.

We both look and see Caryn, Lucy and Travis all standing in the doorway, watching us.

"Yes, here we are," Susie mutters, looking slightly annoyed, which she never usually showed.

We both walk back towards the inside. I go in last, right behind Susie. Travis holds the door open for all of us, and I stop hesitantly right before I walk through the doorway.

I looked up at him, and he avoided my gaze. I look away and walk inside.

The door closes, and I feel Travis' presence behind me. When I was married, I would be practically running from him because he would be the one to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder at a time like this, but now I just wanted to stay as close as I could to him.

I really am a sucker for punishment.

He is engaged. He's obviously moved on.

I should too.

We both find the girls in the living room. I take a seat on the lone couch, while Travis takes a seat next to Lucy.

They all talked about her wedding plans, and I feel like disappearing. To make matters worse, Lucy keeps glancing at me with a triumphant look in her eyes.

I keep my head down, trying not to pay attention, and pretend to go to the bathroom a few times.

Once it is near nine, the twins know that it is time to go.

We all make our way to the car after we said our goodbyes.

I look up at the house, and spot Lucy talking to Travis, hand in hand.

I couldn't help the longing that went through me.

Susie pulls me into the car, and Caryn begins to drive.

The whole car is quiet as we made our way back to my house. We park, and we all make our way inside.

When we all take a seat in my living area, Susie immediately fills Caryn in on what we were talking about.

And when she hears in, she nods, "It felt a little funny, being at her house like that. Poor Travis. It is like he is being controlled."

Then it clicked.

"Susie, do you remember Lucy's favorite thing to do at the family reunion I brought her to?"

She nods. "The one where we first met her?"

"Yes."

"Hypnosis. She hypnotized all the adults to cluck like chickens."

Caryn laughs. "I remember that. We could not stop laughing..." She trails off.

Realization hit her like a brick.

"You mean...?" She questions, looking at me.

I nod slowly. "It's just a hint. I don't know that for sure, but the way she wanted to protect the knowledge that Travis is hearing, is afraid that maybe he would remember?"

"That makes sense. But I thought with hypnosis, there is a word that would make you stop doing whatever you were hypnotized to do."

"There is. Which is why she directed the conversation to what she wanted Travis to hear."

"But what did she hypnotized him to do?"

We all look at each other.

And Caryn sighs, "To forget you, maybe. Or make him fall in love with Lucy. You can basically make a hypnotized person do anything. And they don't remember it after they get unhypnotized."

I sigh. "But do I tell her I know? What should I do?"

They both shrug.

I glare.

Susie smiles.

Caryn narrows her eyes, "I can go interrogate her if you want me to?"

I smile. "No thanks."

Susie grabs my arm. "What if she not only made him forget you but made him leave you too."

I find my body completely still. I glance at the twins, and try to find some relief in that knowledge but I can't.

But what if... it is true?

"Which means...?"

"That once you get him unhypnotized, you guys can get back together!" Susie squeals and Caryn smiles.

I frown, "I doubt it. I don't think that she made him leave me. I think I did. Either that or they were already together. During the last weeks we were married," I say as my heart breaks.

Something inside me doesn't believe it, but what if it did actually happen? I think me not knowing is better than me finding out this way if it is indeed true.

I lean my head in the back of the couch and close my eyes as the girls stay quiet.

If Travis really did love me...?

I glance at the girls.

Then why did he leave?

It must have been... that he had fallen for someone else.

And that someone else...

I close my eyes.

Is Lucy.