JEANIE

Dear Travis,

Our time at the festival didn't last long.

We left soon after we arrived.

I cried for a long time when we got home. I ended up falling asleep for some time after that, waking up a few hours before midnight.

Do you want to know why?

I'm asking this question because I know now that you could answer it someday.

Because I saw you today.

There are tears on the letter at the moment. Because all I am thinking of is what you said to me.

Apparently you don't remember my name. Or even my face. Or who I am at all.

Did one year wipe your memory clear of me?

If so, you did better than I ever could have.

And now I am left wondering... how?

Did you regret me so much you decided to wipe your memory of me? Or did you just pretend to forget me?

And why Lucy?

She is that girl in kindergarten who had at least three boyfriends. And during high school, I learned that she only wanted you.

Even after high school.

But you chose me. And she was upset.

Is that why you left? Because you realized she is the better choice? That you loved her over me?

Because it seems that way. You being her fiancé and all.

I told myself that if I ever saw you again, I wouldn't want you back.

And I don't. I just want to know how you forgot me. How unmemorable I am to you.

I'm sorry I am.

And I'm sorry you had to see that display of me crying.

I can promise you won't see that again.

Jeanie.

I hang my keys on the hook, just around six-thirty. I see the house dark except for my small tv I don't ever use, with Caryn and Susie bundled in front of it.

"Hey! How is work?"

I shrug, falling back onto the empty couch, "Work."

"Good answer. You wanna watch?"

I shake my head, "I'm going to eat something then maybe read," I stand and head into the kitchen.

Once inside, I flip on the light switch, and it brightens the entire room. I wander around, opening the fridge and gazing inside.

There's nothing good.

I really needed to go shopping.

"What did you guys have for dinner?"

"We ordered pizza. There's some in the fridge if you want some."

I don't, but I know there is nothing left to eat, "Thanks."

There is no response.

I remember that about my cousins. Once they're watching a movie, they're forever glued to the movie.

I laugh a little and realize it's the first time all day I've even smiled.

There is nothing to smile about at all though.

After coming home yesterday in a rush, I stayed in my room the whole night. I fell asleep through the rest of the day after bawling my eyes out for a while.

Then I woke up this morning, feeling stupid and confused.

I hate that I shed so many tears on Travis' behalf.

I take the pizza out of the fridge, and place it in the microwave, pressing the thirty-second button three times.

Once it dings, I carefully take it out of the microwave and put it on a paper plate. I sit down at the table and eat it slowly.

I wish I had a book to read, but I couldn't concentrate on anything except eating with the TV on.

The plate empty and my stomach full, I throw the plate away and grab a book off my small bookshelf. I don't read often and don't have a ton of books, but the ones I read I loved.

I grab one of my favorites and go to my room after bidding the girls goodnight. I curl up in my bed and open the book.

It doesn't take me long to get hooked.

I take the groceries from the lady and smile. She bids me a good day, and I do the same. Then I head out of the grocery store, and go right over to my car.

I hop inside and turn the car on.

Then I pull out of the parking lot and head home. But then I see a Giant Eagle and realize I need milk, so I stop there.

I walk inside and go right to the dairy. There I see a few more things I need and grab them. Then I wish I had a basket.

Then I see the milk and go to grab it, but all my other dairy products fall out of my arms and onto the ground.

"Crap."

I squat down and begin to pick everything up. Then I feel someone squat down beside me and begin picking up my stuff as well.

I also see that he has a basket which he is putting the groceries in.

Everything is picked up and we both stand up, and I meet the person's gaze.

I suck in a breath.

The man freezes.

"Travis," I breathe.

"Hi," he says.

I feel constricted, being so close to him. All I wanted is him to hug me. Or come closer.

This is bad. He doesn't remember my name or even who I am. I would feel lost in his arms.

"I'm sorry... about what happened yesterday," I say hesitantly.

He nods. "I don't mean to be offensive. I just don't know who you are."

I nod back, "Yes, I know."

"Did you get me confused with someone else?" He asks hopefully.

I shake my head, "No. You might not believe me, but I know you, and you know me. I don't know what Lucy has told you, but-"

"Lucy hasn't told me anything. I just don't know you."

I twiddle with my ring on my right hand. I pull it off and show it to him.

"Does this look familiar?" I question, feeling as if I am holding in a breath as he looks at it.

He takes it from me, and for a minute I feel like he recognizes it. But the recognition was gone as soon as it came.

"No, I don't," he put the ring back in my hand.

I feel my chest tighten.

"This is the ring you gave me. You put it on my finger. Does the date July 21st sound familiar?"

"Yeah, it's a day of the year."

"It's the day we got married."

"Lady, I don't know what you're talking about-"

"Jeanie. My name is Jeanie. It used to be your Jeanie," I say, on the brink of tears. Why doesn't he know me? He used to tell me he loved me and now he doesn't know me. Does divorce do something horrible to the men?

"Jeanie. Whatever. I don't know you, I'm sorry," He concludes, handing me the basket. I take it from him, and he walks away from me, hands in his pockets.

He looks back at me, and then I notice he has a slight beard. I smile. I always told him he would look more attractive with a beard, but he doesn't believe me.

I close my eyes. Now I'm reminiscing. It's all I seem to do lately.

My Travis doesn't seem to be doing that with me...

I quickly leave the store after buying all the food. I pack it into my car and drive back to my house.

The girls are not there, so they must have left to go to the store or someplace.

It is around dinner time when I get home from work when they come to the house, all excited.

I set down my fork on the table, pausing my eating, "What's wrong?"

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong! We just met with an old friend for lunch. And you'll never guess who is with her!" Caryn says.

I pick up my fork again and continue eating, not really caring about it.

"... and he is just as handsome as ever." I caught the end of Susie's sigh.

I roll my eyes.

"I'm surprised you're not interested Jeanie since this is your husband we are talking about," Caryn says, sounding confused.

My head snaps up.

They were out with Travis and Lucy?

"Did you go see Lucy?"

"Yeah... how did you know?"

I glance down at my food, staring at it with distaste. And only just a few seconds ago, I wanted to eat it.

"Just a wild guess," I say, putting my head into my hands.

"And he also acted really confused when we mentioned you and your guys' marriage. He denied the whole thing, and Lucy agreed with him. I don't understand that because she is at your wedding."

"Well, let's just say she got what she always wanted," Susie says.

I stare up at them. "In what way?"

"Don't you know? Lucy always had a thing for Travis, even when you guys were married. You know that right?"

I knew she had a tremendous crush on him when I got back from school, but I didn't know it had lingered on.

"Yes."

"Well, they are engaged now. She got her wish."

I lost contact with Lucy after I became engaged to Travis. Now I know why.

She wanted him for herself.

But that doesn't explain how she doesn't know that I was married to him.

Unless...

"Did Lucy seem adamant about defending Travis that he doesn't know me or know that we were married?"

They both nod.

I frown, "It's like she wants him to forget, and he already has. Like completely. Unless he's just obeying her, but when I talked to him last, she wasn't there."

"Wait, when did you see them?"

"At the festival," I omit.

Their eyes widen. "Is that why...?"

"Yes."

They both nod.

"When did you talk to him alone?"

"I went to Giant Eagle, and he is there," I admit, remembering what he said to me.

"Well, then we got some bad news and good news then," Susie says.

I frown. "What bad news?"

"Lucy invited Susie and me to her house for dinner. And Travis will be there."

"So...?"

"She said that we can invite you because we said it would be rude if she didn't."

"And what's the good news?"

"We got invited to eat dinner with Lucy and Travis."

I don't like how their names are said together.

"Well, fine. I just won't go," I say, adamant. There's no need to put myself through more pain just to eat dinner with an old friend. My mind is made up.

"No, you have to come. They're expecting you."

"Yeah, except they don't want me to come in the first place."

"You are coming," Susie still insists.

Caryn stays silent.

"Help me, Caryn," Susie says, looking to her twin for assistance.

"You should come, Jeanie," she replies.

I sigh, "Fine, but I'm only staying for dinner."

They both smile.

"And then I'm leaving. You guys can stay later, but I'm not."

"No arguments there," Susie squeals, looking happy. I just smile at her.

"Let's go."