JEANIE

Dear Travis,

Tonight is one of those nights that I think I missed you the most.

I had Fran and Jared over, and it is nice having them, even though it just reminds me of you. And with the girls here, I have a ton of fun.

Without you.

I just thought about how perfect it would have been if you were here. With you and me, just like how it always used to be.

Except now it's just me.

I remember the night before my wedding. Having doubts about your love and my love for you, and the wholeness of us. Of how after that night, it isn't just going to be me and you.

It is going to be us. Together. Forever.

And I remember talking it over with you the night after those doubts. You wiped away every doubt and nervousness inside me.

I also remember before you proposed the third time, I just wanted it to last. If I had ever said yes to you.

I just wanted it to last.

And at that party, I never told you this, but Fran asked me if I thought it would last.

And I looked at you, seeing you smile, and suddenly I didn't even have to think about the answer.

I said yes. Of course, I said yes. I loved you and I knew you loved me.

Right now, I am doubting the latter part of that sentence.

I remember our first night as husband and wife, Travis. I remember it all. The kisses, the closeness. You. I remember you.

You holding me, loving me, wrapped up in the love for each other.

And how much I felt stronger after that night! How much I knew that whatever I would face, we would face it together.

And again, it's just me now.

Apparently I am wrong. About everything. And you. About anything.

I still miss you though. Tons. Especially tonight.

I only hope that I can someday tell you this. Or you can read these letters.

I don't really have anything else to tell you.

So... goodnight.

Jeanie.

I finish putting on my dress. I glance at myself in the mirror, smiling.

Someone had gotten me this dress for my wedding shower, and I hadn't worn it yet.

I know Travis is downstairs after I told him to put a tie on. He grumbled but listened.

Once I put my pearl necklace on, I move with ease down the stairs. I decided to put my heels on just before we got in the car.

I make it down the stairs and turn left, going into the living room. I see Travis standing in the middle of the room, struggling to put his small black bow tie on.

I let out a laugh as I made my way over to him.

Then I hear a low wolf whistle, and look up to my husband. His eyes were on me, lips parted.

I try not to smile.

"Let me help," I say and he doesn't object.

I take the bow tie from his hands, and start to tie it. I feel Travis' eyes on me, but I don't look up. I knew it would just be teasing him, but he just looks so darn cute.

I lean in closer to smooth out the back after I finished tying it. But it is all folded and I frown.

So I undo the whole thing.

And just as I take it off his neck, I feel his hard breath on my neck.

"You know, we could always just stay here," he says in a low voice, making my skin tingle.

"You aren't getting out of this that easily. We are going," I say. Then I put my arms over his head with the bow tie, and I feel a small kiss on my arm.

Once the bow tie is behind his neck, I smooth it out so that it isn't folded. Then I begin to tie it once more.

"I want to stay here," Travis says, and I know he is smiling. I could still feel his gaze on me.

"Too bad," I say, finishing the bow tie, pulling it tight. "Mom expects us to be there. I am not going to disappoint her."

I place my hands on his chest, just below his shoulders. When I turn my gaze to look at my husband, I see his stare has turned to my lips, not my eyes.

"Hey," I say, smiling, "My eyes are up here."

But he doesn't listen.

His hands slowly find their way around my waist and tug me closer.

Then he dips his head, and I meet his eyes as his lips touch mine, pulling on me possessively.

I feel the kiss deepen as my one arm involuntarily finds its way to his neck, while the other stays on his chest.

When I break free for a gasp of air, I begin to speak, "We're gonna be late."

He lays little kisses on my cheek, lips, forehead, nose, and chin. I have a hard time focusing.

"I don't care," Travis says.

I break him off by placing my hand over his lips. He shakes his head.

"I am not going to be late," I say, removing my hand from his mouth. It is slightly wet from him kissing it, "so let's go."

I place one large kiss on his mouth, and before he can grab me, I break off the kiss, moving away from him. I walk towards the front door.

I laugh when I realize that he is close behind.

He grasps my hand, entwining my fingers with his, and he pulls me close till we are walking side by side.

We make our way to the car.

"There you are!" My Mother exclaims when we walk into the room, hands still linked.

The only time he let them go is when we had to get in the car and out.

I embrace her, not missing John's fine scowl behind her. I give him a grin.

He doesn't return it.

Travis hugs my Mother next and she puts a hand on his face, "I hope you are treating her well," she contends, giving him a look.

When I look at them, they are both watching me and I smile, stroking his hand with my thumb.

"Always," Travis says, giving me a smile.

I return it.

Mom seemed very satisfied with his answer, "Would you excuse us for a moment, Travis? I want to talk with Jeanie for a minute."

"Of course," he says, lifting my hand to his lips, giving it a quick kiss. Then he lets it go and I let my hand fall to my side.

"Yes, Mother?" I ask her as we walk away from the men.

She leans in close. "So? How is it?"

I frown, "How is what?"

She rolls her eyes, "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Enlighten me."

"Your first night."

I close my eyes and palm smack my forehead, "Really, Mother?" I ask.

She looks shocked, "What? I am just asking. No need to look so horrible. It isn't bad, is it?" She asks.

I stare at my Mother. Then I look around the room until I claim my husband's attention.

He is looking at me. Quite amused too.

I smile.

He winks at me.

I turn back to my Mother, "It is everything and more. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go dance with my husband."

She laughs. "Oh yes, go ahead. You are just too full of honeymoon hormones to answer me anyway."

I shake my head, walking towards Travis.

He walks towards me too.

When we meet, he takes my hand, "What did she want?"

I blush. "Oh nothing much, just to know how our first night went," I say, smiling.

He chuckles, "And what did you tell her?"

"That it is everything and more."

He plants a kiss on my forehead, pulling me close. "How did she take that?"

"Said I am too full of honeymoon hormones to actually answer her correctly."

He laughs. "Well she's probably right. We did get home last night."

I shrug. "Maybe I'll just keep using that excuse until she leaves me alone."

Travis pulls me along.

"You want to dance?" I ask him. He looks at me, and I can see the look in his eyes.

The one when he's uncomfortable.

"Please?"

His jaw twitches but he nods, "Come here."

I giggle and take his hand. I haven't been dancing in such a long time. I always asked Travis, but he despises dancing, so he always said no.

We make our way on the dance floor, and rock slowly along to very slow song.

"See, this isn't so bad," I say, trying to make that scowl of his go away.

"Only when I'm with you."

I reach up on my tiptoes and plant a kiss on his chin. He returns it with a kiss on my nose.

The song ends, and I can see the immediate relief light his face as we walk off the dance floor.

Then I practically get tackled by a dark redhead.

"Fran!" I exclaim, giving her a quick hug. "I didn't know you were coming!"

I peek over her shoulder to see Jared standing behind her. Her 'almost' fiancé.

"And you brought Jared," I say, grinning at her. She rolls her eyes.d

"I couldn't wait to see you. I knew I had to come, and Jared offered to drive me."

I look past my friend and see Travis and Jared shaking hands and talking to each other.

We walk up beside them. I stand next to Travis, Fran right next to Jared.

"Hey, Jeanie," Jared greets, and I give him a side hug. Travis greets Fran as well.

"I didn't know you two would be here," Travis says to them.

"I knew Jeanie was here and I had to come to see her. You guys have been gone for so long."

"Two weeks," I correct.

"Exactly. So long."

Travis laughs.

"And of course I also came to see Travis," she says, and I laugh with her.

Travis looks at us with a smile.

"Of course," I say, smirking.

Travis winks at us.

Fran pulls me away from the men and we walk around the room, side by side.

"So... how is it?"

I frown. "Oh not you too, Fran," I plead, and she frowns.

"What?"

"Nevermind, just... how is what?"

"You're first ni-"

I cut her off, "Uh uh, not you too. My Mother already asked me that question."

"What did you say?"

I look at her, "I said that it is everything and more."

"I bet she is disappointed."

I laugh, nodding. "You have no idea."

She smiles. "But really? I have no idea what I'm asking really, but..."

"I'll tell you later. Not now. Not here."

"Alright, here's a question that you can answer. Do you think it's going to last?"

I look into her eyes. I told her before Travis proposed to me, that I wanted a marriage that would last till death do us part.

Then I glance across the room, to my husband, Travis, as he is talking with John. He is smiling, and I couldn't help but smile myself.

I look at Fran.

"Yes."

When I woke up from the dream of a memory, I cried.