"You don't have to start today," my mother tells me while sitting in her Traverse. "We can try again in another week. There's no rush."

"No, I don't want to get more behind."

I can tell she is nervous by the way she is chomping her gum. I can imagine her knuckles stressing white as she grips the steering wheel.

My mother laughs softly. "You're the smartest kid in this school, Natty. There's no way you could fall behind. Plus," she rubs my back affectionately, "I did a pretty good job on my end last year."

I roll my eyes behind the dark framed glasses I have taken a liking to since Trent gifted them to me for my birthday last year which I spent in the hospital. "Now you look like Zac Efron in one of those chick films," my friend had said with what I imagined was a strutt and a model turn around my hospital bed. The raybans may look cliche, but it bothers me when people can see my eyes and I can't see theirs.

"I would say I was more of the teacher and you the student," I joke and send a wiry smile her way.

She squeezes my shoulder once. "I would have to mildly agree."

There is silence once again in the car except for The Monkees singing out of my headphones which lay limply around my neck.

"Do you want me to walk in with you?" My mother offers when she sees my hand go for the car door.

"Declined," I say but I make sure I smile. I don't want her to think I don't care that she is probably more nervous than I am about returning to this place. "No offense Mom, but having your mommy walk you to class is sort of social suicide if not worst."

Not that I haven't already hit rock bottom when it came to the social ladder of high school. But I wasn't ready to dig my grave just yet by being known as the kid whose mother walked the to class on the first day of school to make sure he made it there okay.

"Right, right." She shuffles with what sounds like paper as she settles back into her seat. Nervous fidgeting, I note. "Sorry, sweetheart. I can't help but helicopter mom it when it comes to you navigating this place alone. It's been awhile."

"I know." Oh man, did I know.

When I was told that I was on the spectrum for being clinically blind after a chemistry experience went awry with my friends one afternoon, I imagined my life to be over. How does one live life when they can't see it happening right in front of them? How does one survive without all five of their senses?

I had gotten used to being homeschool, used to people treating me like I was the most fragile thing in the room, but I have not gotten used to people staring. Which is most definitely what I am going to have to indear today.

"I'll be fine, Mom." It's easier to tell her a little lie then to tell her the truth of the matter. I am terrified to step foot amongst these people.

She sighs and I feel her hand on my back again. I have gotten used to sensing when she is going to touch me but, then again, she's the only one that ever does. Everyone else acts like the world will go dim for them too if they come in contact.

By looking at me, you wouldn't be able to tell that I am blind. Even when I'm not wearing these sunglasses, I wear regular glasses just to distract those who happen to be looking at me. There isn't much movement in my eyes, which tends to throw people off.

I don't want to draw more attention to myself then necessary.

"I know. I'm sorry. I know." My mother brings me into one of those awkward side hugs that makes her seat belt stretch to its limit which restricts her from fully embracing me.

In old habit, my eyes skirt behind my glasses to check to see if anyone is looking though I can't see those doing so. I have always been this way, being used to bigger guys picking on me and being ignored by most girls, accept for those in the chemistry and astrology club. I was just a self conscious person.

And now, the headlines of last years paper flash like the rolls of a movie scripts in front of my darkened view.

It is best to blend in.

"Love you, Mom," I say and politely pull out of her hug. I take a deep breath and step out of the car.

"Love you too, hunny!" She answers rather too animatedly before she rolls the passenger side window down. "Call me if you want to come home. I mean it, Nathaniel."

"Yes, ma'am." I solute hoping to make her smile and I am rewarded with a scoff that makes me grin because we both know she means business when she uses my full name. I pull out my walking stick and begin to walk inside.

My stomach twist and turns with nerves as I use the device to navigate through the doors of Stanton High.

I don't have to have working eyes to know people are staring. Ery silence rolls like waves over those hanging out in the courtyard along with those walking in the hallways. I try to hold my head high though I know it isn't really me people are looking at. It's my disability that draws them in.

I skim my hand over the desks as I arrive to my first class, Biology, rather early. I wanted to make sure that I got an empty seat. Nothing would be more embarrassing than sitting on top of someone in an occupied desk.

I choose one in the front row--easy access and exit--and ease myself into it. Man, these darn connected chair and desks seemed to have gotten smaller over the year. Or maybe it's just because I hit a growth spurt and now have little to none leg space.

I remain scrunched up in my desk, unbothered, until Mr. Faunt, the Biology teacher, starts to pair us up for lab partners. The instant urge to bolt hits me like the rocket itself.

"Nathaniel Haynes..." Mr. Faunt slowly calls out into the classroom.

I can feel my stomach plummet to my feet. Maybe I can call my mom right now and get out of this before it starts. But instead, I grudgingly raise my hand.

"Welcome back, Mr. Haynes." I can physically feel his pittyfilled eyes deadpan me. "You will be paired with..." He makes a clicking sound with his tongue as if to make his own personal drumroll. Either that or he is stalling. "Kelly Henderson."

My body can't decide whether all the blood should leave it or flood it like a clotted artery. It chooses to clot. Heat settles around my neck and ears in a way that makes me want to fold in on myself and disappear.

My blood sings in my ears as I turn slightly to where I'm sure she is sitting. The jocks and cheerleaders always sit in the back while us nerds sit front and center.

God, she is probably grimacing and wishing she wasn't paired with me. How else could the Kelly Henderson, queen bee of Stanton High, react to being paired with someone like me. She was pretty to look at. I remember that. But she has a bark that could sting.

Molly has mentioned how Kelly seemed to change ever since last year in more ways than one but could someone as nasty-- and dare I say bitchy-- as her really change into the community crusader as she has put it?

I shake my head as if to answer myself and center my attention back to the front.

Girls like her always have an agenda.

As if I have lost my hearing as well, voices and movement become muffled around me. My body is in full panic mode.

I have never told anyone, though her name has been thrown around my friend circle like a hackie sack when it came to male fantasies, but Kelly Henderson has invaded my dreams more times than I can count. She is the pinnacle of beauty considering she reminds you of the sun. You can sneak a peek at it but for not too long or else you might see nothing else for a while. Her blonde hair makes white spots form in front of my eyes and her swollen, red, lips makes my skin flush like a sunburn.

It's embarrassing but she is the type of girl that boys like me only get attention from in their dreams.

"Hi there." Her voice invades my senses and my fingers grab onto the first distraction they can find which happens to be my pencil. "I am Kelly."

My mind abruptly turns blank. Speak you idiot!

"I k-know who you are." I mentally curse myself for stuttering.

Her voice is soft yet strong, like the ringing of church bells, and the sound of it makes my heartbeat pick up. Which is why my breathing does the same when she becomes quiet. Did I say something wrong? Did that come off as rude?

"You do?" When she says this, her voice has grown hushed making her sound like a child.

I can't stop the gush of amusement leaving my chest at that because of course I know who she is. We've been in the same classes since kindergarten. She questions this and I tell her as such. My embarrassment soon simmers to an anger that makes my jaw clench.

"Oh." Her voice has grown small, smaller than how I feel at this moment.

My jaw clenches again and I shift in my seat, no longer wanting to run but wanting to stay and fight for my right in society. I may be blind, but I'm not so blind to see that I make Kelly Henderson nervous. Which, for some reason, helps a tad. It give me some sort of an advantage in this situation.

I request that we get started. The sooner we do this 'get to know you' assignment--the whole ordeal makes me want to take note of what is wrong with our educational system--the better.

"Yeah!" She exclaims and I jolt in my seat, her voice startling me. She clears her throat. "You can start."

I count to twenty. I figure if she doesn't catch onto it in twenty seconds then I was going to have my work cut out for me this semester. All seeing or not, it didn't take an oracle to see that Kelly was good at dumbing herself down for those around her and I couldn't for the life of me understand how or why she did it.

But there is a saying it takes a smart person to play dumb.

I reach down and take out my iPad from my backpack while it finally dawns on her that she is going to have to read the paper. I studied braille for a while from a tudor during my time in the hospital but never caught on very well. With technology nowadays, there are different way to get your point across.

Kelly fidgets beside me with her paper and she reads off the first question on the questionnaire. "What are you most likely looking forwards to in the course?"

I can imagine her scrunching up her little button nose like I had once seen her do the time Johnny Matthews ate a worm in the second grade.

Trying to push away the imagine in my head, I type out her words and answer the question before I make myself out to be weirder than what I already have. I say the first thing that comes to my head. "Human Anatomy and DNA structure."

I can feel her eyes on me after I say this. Is she looking at the scar above my eyebrow from where the metal of the makeshift rocket exploded and sliced me, missing my eye by an inch? The doctors explained it could have been a lot worse but at the time I had held back tears and questioned what could have been worse then not being able to see.

Kelly continues to stare at me. The heavy feeling of her sapphire eyes lasering into the side of my face makes me shift again in my seat. "W-what about you?" I bite my tongue at my stupid stutter. Why must my words come out like that when I'm nervous?

Her next words make me freeze and my heart stop in my chest. "Being your partner, of course."

She's making fun of me. That's what she's doing.

"I-I can't put t-that." I grit the words out through my teeth and for once, I am happy that my eyes are hidden behind by glasses which I know are dimmed because of the warmth of the morning sun shining through the window. I feel embarrassment simmer behind them.

Kelly sighs as if she is now bored after tormenting me. "You can just put the same as your answer."

I type and listen to my iPad read it back to me so I can hear that there are no typing errors.

After finishing the assignment, Kelly gets up and grabs my paper from the printer which surprises me for some reason. But to block out my hopeful mind, I place in my ear buds and turn back on my music to drown out the world around me.

I listen to music a lot. It helps in a way. I can't really describe it.

The illusion shatters when there is a tap on my shoulder. I quickly take out my earphones.

"Listen, Nathaniel," Kelly says with a strong voice. Hearing her say my name paints a fresh round of red on my cheeks. "How about we split the work when we do the labs and do the same for the papers to make the workload seem less heavy this semester. I get this feeling that you think I'm going to rely on you for a decent grade but I am very capable of holding up my own end."

"Okay," I say, having trouble hiding my surprise. I knew she was smart but I didn't know how far she was willing to put up the dumb act and I am not about to start the year off with a bad grade because of her stubborn pride. I already lost the valedictorian spot because of my absence all last year.

Kelly continues to speak but I have gone into robotic mode and can seem to only come up with one worded answers. Her voice is so alluring. It's like when she talks to me, she concoons us with our own personal bubble. It's like I still have my buds in and music is filling my ears.

Someone calls her name from the back of the room and the bubble is popped. I can hear footsteps walking towards her and my flight or fight waves its red flag.

"Want to hit the Cracker Barrel for lunch today?" I don't know who asks that but I do know that if it's one of her friends, I will go unnoticed. Hopefully. But that isn't so because I feel myself shrink back as the male's eyes weigh me down in my desk. I distract myself by putting my things back into my bag.

I don't catch her answer until I hear my name in that voice of hers. "Would you like to join us, Nathaniel?"

"Like he would want to come with us," Another person says, their voice mocking. How many surround us?

Before I can start to panic, I answer Kelly as nicely as I can. "No," I decline and I straighten my glasses perched on my nose. "But thank you for the invitation."

"Maybe next time."

Her words make me smile slightly because we both know there wasn't going to be a next time where her and I are concerned.

"Y-yeah, maybe." I turn my face in her direction for the first time since she sat down next to me and offer her a polite smile.

I am relieved when the bell rings and I am able to get away from this situation. I pull out my walking stick and slip out as unnoticed as I can. But I can feel her eyes on me as I do so. I don't know how I know they are hers, but I do.

People part like the red sea as I make my way down the hall. I am thankful for this, which would be a first, because the more room I have to move, the faster I can get away from Kelly Henderson's eyes.

My mind plays tricks on me as I walk away because I swear I can still feel them on me.