We tumble into my room like a tornado, clothes flying throughout the air as the need to be as close as physically possible to each other invades every pore.

We both knew what we had wasn't a normal infatuation like other couples our age. We are young, but the need for each other is an ancient soul connecting kind. My mind, body, and soul, yearned to connect with Nate's on every level.

It simply hurt to say I love you because those words alone didn't feel justified for what I feel for him. With Nate, I feel whole. I feel alive. And death would rightfully collect my fulfilled soul if someone took Nate from me.

The thought is too painful.

With great concentration, Nate step out of his jeans while trying to keep his lips connected to some part of my body. The mere activity of pulling away for a second is too tedious.

I stumbled while wiggling out of mine but Nate catches me before I fall forward on my face. He laughs and the sound is magical.

I feel it in every touch of his skin against mine, the way he kisses me as if I give him just the right amount of air to breathe another minute, that he feels the same way about me. I feel it in the way he looks at me, the way his eyes shine and face flushes at the sound of my voice.

My heart throbs with love for him as he stands over me, grinning drunkenly, his laughter subsiding. With my eyes on his mouth, I slow my movements and bring his lips down to mine. Our kissing is saturated with longing as he simply takes my breath away and then breathes it back into me when his lips collide again with mine.

Nate is gloriously naked in front of me once I manage to pull away long enough to let my gaze fall. His fingers tug at my bra strap and slips it down my shoulder. His incredibly slow pace has my body worked up to a frenzy. But unlike last time, we both are more curious instead of fervid.

I turn around in Nate's arms and move my hair to one shoulder so he can unhook me. Both of his hands massage my neck and I shiver when he places a single kiss on the top of my spine. His hands run down my arms and he sighs in longing.

"You are everything I could ever want," he admits as he runs the tip of his finger up my spine. I convulse and spin back around and push him on to my bed. He lands gracefully on his back, his forearms holding him upright.

I know he can see me crawl up his body in my darkened room and the thought excites me. His chest is rising and falling rapidly as my hands run up his calves to his thighs, stopping at his protruding hip bones.

I watch his intake of breath when my palm grazes over him. Nate's forearms give out at the feeling of my lips placing a single kiss below his naval. My body buzzes when I receive a brutal moan.

Every touch, every ghost of warm breath that soaks in skin, feels like how the song drops of jupiter was meant to sound. The chorus rang in me ears from downstairs when Nate touches me.

Nate boyishly grins, a cocky look manifested under the surface at the sound that slipped past my lips. It's enough to make my fingers tighten on his golden brown hair. "Just doing what feels good. Like you said."

"Well don't stop," I concede and lay back flat on my bed. The view of his mouth grazing over my skin is a sight I will see whenever I close my eyes.

His pace is deliberately slow, feeling me and the way my body response to him.

And he loves me.

That feeling mixed with the alcohol through our veins is enough to turn our movements hasty. My hands grab at his back, trying to mold his body as close to mine as physically possible. Nate presses his chest firmer to mine and my heart beats madly into his.

Every single emotion I am feeling is heightened to the point that my limbs have a mind of their own. Nate allows me to push on his shoulder and when he is stationed underneath me, his eyes connect with mine, wild and surprised. Pleasure spikes through me when his hands press to my thighs on either side of his hips and travel to my chest, kneading and squeezing my flesh to the point of insanity.

Nate's face will forever be engraved in my brain. Even in the dimly lit room, his eyes shone like hot liquid gold, reflective and alive, like a flame had been lit.

Song melted into song.

I keep my lips pressed to his shoulder until he catches his breath and lifts his face from the crook of my neck. He exhales a shaky laugh.

"That is exactly what I wanted for my birthday." He kisses my neck again and I do the same, craning mine for easier access for him and pressing my lips to his dampened skin.

The spot just below his ear was one of my favorite places to kiss him. No matter how much pressure I put against his skin there, he loved it. And I loved the sounds that he makes when I do so.

"Oh no, Kelly." His eyes grow wide and his mouth hangs open. "We didn't..."

I massage the tense muscle flexing in the center of his back. "I'm on the pill," I explain, trying to ease his anxiety. "But there is no one else on earth that I trust more than you, Nate."

He closes his eyes and sighs. A look of peace casting over his features. "That means more to me than you will ever know, Kelly."

"Are you happy?" I ask and receive a skeptical look from Nate.

"Elated."

"Good. I want nothing more than for you to be happy."

"I'm happy wherever you are concerned."

I snuggle closer to him and he wraps his arm firmly around my shoulders.

"Are you happy, Kelly?"

I can feel my eyebrows lowering in concern. No one has every asked me that. "Very."

That one word seemed enough for him and he lays he head against the headboard. "Thank you for throwing me a party." He sighs again, the sound content and light.

"Even though you said you didn't want one?" I question with a mildly shameful smile.

"Especially because I said I didn't want one." He laughs and buries his nose into my hair. "You know me better than I know myself, it seems, because tonight was exactly what I needed. I've been so stressed with the upcoming surgery and all. I feel relaxed for the first time in days."

"You're welcome," I say, feeling relief.

"How on earth did I ever get so lucky to call you mine?" His words cut me deep and restitch me at the same time as I cling to him.

"I don't deserve you, Nate." My words are muffled into neck.

He kisses my forehead. I love when he does that. "You deserve everything the world has to offer and then some."

"No," I shake my head rather forcefully, "no, I don't. But you do. You're one of the good ones. You're special."

"And what makes you think you are not special, Kelly? Please tell me because I can't think of a single thing wrong with you. Sure you're pushy and too smart for your own good but that's what makes you, you. You are also kind and giving and make me feel wanted. I've come to feel like a burden to everyone over the past couple of years but I don't feel like one when I'm around you."

I want to tell him how much I love him but I know there is so much more I need to tell him. I can't do this anymore. My heart weighs like lead in my chest.

"Nate I have to tell you something and you may hate me afterwards." Here it is. And it is such bad timing considering, but the unwanted knowledge that I obtain is breaking me from the inside out.

"I could never hate you, Kelly. I love you too much."

"I love you too. More than I can ever put into words. There's no doubt in my mind that you're my soulmate. I know that sounds silly but this is all too..." I couldn't even finish my sentence before all my emotions clogged my ability to speak. Just to prove my point, our bodies wrap themselves together in a perfect match, every nook and cranny fitting and shifting in sync.

"I could have told you that years ago." He lifts my face to his and kisses me softly but all too abruptly pulls back.

His thumbs rub over my cheek bones in a way that makes me feel that the words he speaks are all true. Nate would never lie to me.

"I wish you would have told me too because then we wouldn't have wasted so much time apart." I refuse to let the tears fall from my eyes but my love for him seems to always overflow and I haven't quite figured out how to appropriately express it yet. But something tells me I'm doing an okay job by the colossal grin threatening to break Nate's face in two.

"Okay, soulmate. What is it you want to tell me? Is it serious?"

"Yes."

Nate must feel my sudden mood change because he lifts himself from my pillow and peers down at the top of my head that has gone back to hiding in his arms. Brushing my hair away so he can has a fuller view of face, he squints his eyes in the dark. His searching makes me want to hide more. "Tell me."

Now that the opportunity has presented itself, I am loss for words. I have gone over this a thousand times in my head. But none of those scenarios match up to this one.

Just say it! My conscience scolds me with a stomp of her foot. She is right. I need to stop this self preserved act of protecting the both of us. Though ignorance is bliss, along with what Nate and I have at the moment, a guilty conscience is torture.

I open my mouth at the exact moment there is a shout from the other side of the door. The banging of someone's fist bounce off my bedroom walls.

"Get out here, you love birds! There's cake!" It's Trent and at the moment I don't know whether to be grateful or hateful towards him.

Though my drunken state has vanish with the weight of the situation, Nate seems to have gotten worse, more excitable, more giddy.

"Ooh, cake!" He shifts under me and begins to look for his discarded clothing, the conversation seemingly forgotten.

"Nate, I really want to talk to you." I sit up and bring my comforter with me.

"We have forever, Kelly. I promise you that." His head jerks from side to side, blindy searching. "Now help me find my shirt. I don't want to accidentally show too much cleavage."

I sit there dumbfounded, not sure how to go about this. Nate is here joking and looking at me in his usual admiration that warms my heart. But right now my heart hurts.

By the time my mind catches up with me, Nate is already dressed and holding out my clothes for me. I numbly get out of bed and slip them on.

I stop him before he can move towards the door. "Can we please continue this conversation when everyone leaves?"

"Of course," His finger trickle over the skin at my temple in a careful carass and he kisses me softly. "Let's just continue to enjoy ourselves. It's still my birthday and I'm the birthday boss."

I roll my eyes playfully and open the door.

When we get back downstairs, the party has become more sparse, leaving Nate's friends and the remaining of mine.

"Thanks for joining us," Molly sarcastically mutters through the crowd as we round the corner. My face heats along side Nate's and I try my best not to make eye contact with those in hearing distance. "We already cut the cake."

"Thanks for waiting," I mildly scold, my mind in a different place than the living room.

"Got any left?" Nate asks, attentively massaging little circles into my lower back. The tension doesn't leave.

"Yeah," Molly answers and reaches behind her. "Here you go."

Nate takes the plate from her and I deny any, my stomach in knots. My eyes roam the room. Alyssa and Mariah sit on the couch but Danny catches my attention. He's peering out the bay window, sipping his drink. He looks so out of place when normally he is the life of the party.

I excuse myself and make my way over to him. I'm mad at him. I'm livid. But that doesn't erase all that we've been through. Some of the old Danny is still in the shell of a man now in front of me. He turns when he sees me and manages to slightly smile.

I don't give him time to speak. "I'm going to tell him. Tonight."

Danny freezes with his drink half way to his mouth. He blinks a few times before changing his mind and lowers it back down to his side. "I figured it was only time." He calmly looks back out the window. Why was he so calm? My scalp prickles and my anxiety starts to bubble up. But before I can say something, he faces me again. "Do you mind if I talk to him first?"

Fear sprouts in my lungs.

"I don't think that's a good idea." I shift from one foot to the other.

"Kelly, I know you don't believe me but I want to apologize. And no, I'm not doing it to cover my idiotic ass in anyway. I want to sincerely apologize to him but most importantly I want to apologize to you. I have lot to apologize for..."

My mouth falls open to say something, anything, but it snaps shut like a mouse trap catching the cheese. Did I just hear that right? It's very obvious he is drunk.

"I've handled all of this poorly and I want to say I'm sorry. I'm mad as hell at you leaving me and you may not believe me but I do care about you. I don't think I've ever expressed it appropriately but I never did because you never said it to me and I guess..." He brings his cup to his lips. When he swallows, his eyes shine bright with remorse. "I'm an asshole. I know this. And I'm pinheaded and stubborn and stupid. I don't think I'm a fully formed human being, Kel. But after seeing the way you are with the Haynes kid tonight, it set it all in perspective."

Danny shakes his head and sighs. "We were never like that. So in sync the way you two are. What we had was something, but it wasn't love. It was routine. I just got so accustomed to me and you that I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that we weren't a good fit. We would have never worked even if some nerd didn't get between us." He taps my shoulder with his cup to lighten the blow of making fun of Nate. "I took you for granted."

I don't say anything.

"I'm going to go tell your boyfriend it was all me."

"What?" I think I stopped breathing. There was no way he was putting his head on the chopping block with nothing in return.

Danny nods and his eyes turn sadder, the ocean blue brewing with a self inflicted storm. "There's no need in dragging anyone down with me. It was my idea. I put the firework in their little science project. I told you all to keep your mouths shut afterwards. It was all me."

I couldn't argue with him but it still didn't feel right.

"No," I finally state, shaking my head wildly as if to shake the option away. "That still makes it a lie, Danny, and I'm not going to keep anything from Nate anymore. It may not be solely my fault but I had a hand it in and I will tell him as such and then beg for him to forgive me."

"Kelly, let me do this for you," Danny protest, stepping closer to me. "It's the least I can do after everything I put you through."

I consider this. I actually consider letting him take all the blame and then carrying on my life with Nate but I just can't do that.

"I can't let you do that, Dan."

"You can, Kelly."

We stare at each other and I swear I see something that could resemble love pass over Danny's eyes like a fleeting butterfly.

I shake my head again. "I have to be the one to tell Nate."

"Tell me what?"

I stop breathing. My body freezes and tears instantly sting my eyes.

I turn slowly on my heels to see Nate hanging in suspense behind Danny and me, Molly providing a guiding hand as she stops him directly behind me.