I hook my foot on the downspout and lift my weight onto the ivy vine leading up to Nate's window. I watch my footing, afraid of making too much noise and his parents will run out with a flashlight to see that it's only little ol' me, sneaking into their son's bedroom like the midnight bandit.

When I get eye level with Nate's window frame, I can see him sitting at his desk, a lamp lit beside him, and his headphones in his ears. He is blankly staring off into space.

I tap on the window. His eyes shoot in my direction and his brows lower in confusion.

I take a try at lifting up his window, thinking it may be locked, but am surprised when it lifts up effortlessly.

"You sure are trusting," I comment, hoisting myself up and through the window.

"What are you doing?" Nate asks while removing his headphones. "Did you just climb up the tressel?"

I don't know why he is so surprised. He knew I climbed out the window this morning.

"Your parents were just asking for trouble by placing that so close to your window."

His eyes lock on my silhouette that has moved to stand in the shadowed corner of his room for his benefit. His face is one of a professional poker player, giving nothing away. The only lack of a shield is his chest is rising and falling noticeably.

Just by being in the same room as me, he is affected as much as I am.

The light coming from his desk acts like a giant spotlight, highlighting what I was about to do. My mouth suddenly becomes dry and my heart rate speeds up to the point that I'm sweating.

Nate says nothing and for once, neither do I. I just stare back at him, mesmerized by every thing that makes him, Nate. His soody lashing that frame his eyes, his now shaggier hair that curls perfectly around his slim face, his tongue, as it darts out and wettens his perfectly bow shaped lips.

I take one step towards him and then stop. This could go one of two ways.

One: Nate could admit that he loves me back or,

Two: Nate could go screaming for the hills and I will lose whatever we have forever.

We have both openly admitted that we have strong feelings for each other but using the term 'strong feelings' is less intimidating than the L word.

I open my mouth to speak but shut it again, letting out an aggravated sigh. I don't know how to say it. I've never told someone I loved them before. Not even Danny. He said it often after we had dated for a few month but I was never able to say the bold I love you back because it was just so darn perminate. Call me an old fashioned romantic, but I have always figured love is forever.

"Kelly?" Nate asks. His hands extend outward, reaching for me. Just so he doesn't have to stumble in the dark, I meet him halfway. He grips my hands loosely before intertwining his fingers through mine. We fit so well with his large hands and long slender fingers cocooning my small ones.

There are several types of love. There's the kind that comes from obsession and lust. Your day starts and ends with the thought of them and your body comes alive when they are near you.

Then there's the companionship, love. The kind of loyalty and faith.

And then there is the Nate love. The kind that blossoms so suddenly that it takes your breath away and all common sense along with it. It's a loyalty so fierce that it's rabid. It's the love that buries inside your bone marrow and settles there to become a permanent part of you, painful to retract. My love for Nate cuts so raw it's embedded in my bones forever, never to give me a break from realising that I am obsessed and craze at the mere thought of him. I adore him more than he or anyone could ever fathom.

"Hi," I manage to croak out. The feel of his hands pressed against mine is heavenly.

"Hi," he says back. I'm guessing my voice had come out as quiet as his because my ears prick at the sheer volume.

I play with his hands for as long as I can, mentally preparing myself for confessing my feelings for him. But it isn't long before Nate notices my nerves.

"Is everything okay?"

"Everything is great," I say with a smile but it wavers because I am so darn nervous.

"Are you sure?" He asks. He takes another step forward so that I am nearly flushed against the front of him. My body shivers at the close proximity.

"Yes," I answer and bring his hands so that they wrap around my waist. I tighten my hands around his, wanting to keep his as close to me as possible. "I just have a lot on my mind. Mostly concerning you."

"You're always on my mind, Kelly," Nate rapidly admits, his face blotting red as he does so. This is a normality for Nate. It's like he must say things the second they come to him otherwise he chickens out. At least its this way when it concerns me.

"That's reassuring, then," I mumbled mostly to myself but his brows quirk in a manner telling me he heard me loud and clear.

"How so?" He blindly reaches up and smooths my hair behind my ear.

Okay, this is it. I'm just going to say it. I steady myself with a shallow breath.

"I'm in love with you, Nate." I hold my breath until he begins to swarm in front of me.

I watch his facial expression. Panic bubbles up my stomach, to my chest, and up the back of my throat when he says nothing. The butterflies that have become a normal niche in my gut flutter in suspense at the fact that he has gone mute.

Nate has stopped breathing as well and his hand has gone frozen on the side of my face. His eyes remain plastered to mine, round, big, and unmoving as my words sink in. I hope they are making their way into his bones and go as deep like they have done mine. It isn't until he drags in a breath that he begins to blink.

"Say it again."

It takes a heartbeat of a moment to catch onto what he had said. A wide, cautious smile erupts across my face. "I love you."

His eyes close and his breath comes out in a whoosh. In a blink of an eye, a goofy smile has been plastered on his face.

"I love you so much I can hardly think straight, Kelly." He lets out another harsh breath and he rakes his free hand through the front of his hair making it stand on end in a wave. "The thought of being around you and never having the nerve to touch you the way that I have always dreamed of doing so has haunted me since we were paired up in class. It was physically painful."

I don't know when the world started making sense. I don't know when I started to believe that I could feel the sun even when it was in its slumber or hear the birds sing their lovely tone to the one that matches my mood but they were loud and clear. But something tells me it's from Nate telling me he loves me in return.

"You actually said it back." He loves me too! Nate loves me! Not Kelly the Scream Queen of Stanton High but the Kelly that I have always wanted to be. I am me when I am around him. I'm the me that I am afraid of the world seeing. And I have never felt more vulnerable than what I do at this moment.

"You seem surprised." His thumb works it's careful rhythm across my cheek and it's enough to lull me to him. I squeeze his waist and press our bodies together.

"You're a man of many words, Nathaniel," I mock and he smirks down at me in a way that I have never seen before. It's like he is free as well to finally get the words off his chest. "It's just nice to finally hear it."

"I figured if my sister can admit it to you, I should stop being a little girl and say it too." He tightens his arms around me at the sounds of my laughter. "I don't know how you could ever doubt my feelings for you. I act a complete fool around you half the time."

I laugh a teary gurgle and embarrassingly wipe away the trail of emotions running down my cheeks. My heart feels so full it is officially overflowing.

"Are you crying?" Nate's hands come up to hold my face and his thumbs erase the tears escaping my eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm just so happy. I don't think I've ever been this happy." I sniffle and run my hands through his hair, gripping at the root and receiving a heavenly moan from Nate in return. This is one of the many reasons why I love that he is letting his hair grow longer.

"I never believed I could be this happy." His eyes have fallen closed at my touch and without thinking anymore, I rock up on my tiptoes and kiss him.

And like many times when we kiss, this one is no different. Our pace becomes frantic and passionate, gripping at each other's clothes and holding the other one close to the point of snapping.

Nate's tongue sweeps over mine and my self control vanishes. I grip the edge of Nate's white cotton shirt and wait for him to stop me. When he shows no sign of doing so, I lift it up and move it over his head.

My hands literally itch to touch his bare skin.

When his shirt is tossed somewhere on his bedroom floor, Nate's eyes cast down at me and his breathing becomes more rigid. His fingers dance under my red pajama shirt, imprinting the skin just below my navel, making goosebumps appear from the feather like touch. He pauses, hesitating.

To make this easier for the both of us, I lift my arms over my head and begin to remove my shirt myself but Nate's hands stop me. "No. I want to do it." His face is set in determination as he slowly brings my shirt over my head. His knuckles skim past my plain white bra as he does so, brushing against my sides on purpose. I am a ball of quaking emotion by the time my shirt meets his on the floor.

I pull his mouth back down to mine and navigate us to his bed because I am quite certain my legs will turn to jelly by the way his mouth is slanted over mine.

Nate collapses backwards first and I tumble on top of him with a humph. I break out laughing. Nate shushes me by hooking his hand behind my neck and crashing my lips back down on his. All laughter is forgotten when I rotate my hips against his.

He sucks in a gasp at the same time I do, reveling in the friction we are creating. Sparks seem to fly around us when I do it again. Nate groans and his face portrays a man in pain.

"Tell me if you want to stop," I say to him and look directly in his eyes. Though I want him like I never have before, I will not push him into doing anything he isn't ready for.

"Don't stop," is all he says before latching his lips back onto me. He sits us both up so that my legs are on either sides of his hips and I am sitting on his lap.

I brace myself against his chest which is hard underneath my hands as I feel his heart under my palm, pounding profoundly and agile. The feel of it is enough to bring more tears to my eyes.

"I love you," I say again, curling my hands around his flesh as if I could rip his heart out and push it into my own where it belongs.

"I." He kisses the base of my throat. "Love." His lips suck harshly over the place of my heart and I gasp. "You," he proclaims with every wet kiss he places just above my clothed chest. "So much, Kelly."

I roll us so that he is on top of me. His weight is devine and he cocoons me into his full sized bed. Nate seems to like this because he had more access to explore. He is all feeling, all hands and mouth, as he dips and roams the uncharted territories of my body.

The sensation of his hands roaming over my skin is one of wonder. Every touch could be felt in my toes. This being a new experience for him, has not only him in a frenzy, but me too. The anticipation is driving me over the edge.

His movements turn slow. His fingers trace the outline of my bra before trailing down the valley making me arch my back into him. His hands reach underneath me and his finger fumble with the clasp.

Noticing that his breathing has become more shallow, my eyes snap open to see a apprehensive expression painting his beautiful face.

"They are tricky," I assure him, trying to minimize his anxiety, and reach behind me to unclasp my bra. Nate's nostrils flare and his eyes become frantic. I caress his cheek and wait for him to calm down. "Breathe, Nate. Just do what feels good to you. I can promise you, I will like it too."

As if that is all he needed, he pulls away the undergarment and discards it to the floor. I watch him as he explores his newfound territory. It must be something to be all touch with no actual sight. The idea arouses me as if I am wearing a blindfold.

Nate's hands graze my skin between my breast again before cupping one and squeezes it in his large hand. I bite my lip to hold back making more loud noises. The last thing I need is his parents coming in here and catching us in this compromising position.

While his hand travels down my stomach, mine reaches into his sweatpants without a second thought, my urgent emotions taking over me. Nate muffles his exasperated moan in the crook of my neck and I wrap my fingers around him. At that exact moment his hand travels south and my eyes practically roll into the back of my head at that sweet torture.

I don't know how much of this I am going to be able to take. I want to give Nate all the time he needs to get use to this sensation but my body has craved him for so long I don't know how much longer I can hold out before I burst into a thousand pieces.

As if sensing my urgency, Nate ceases his movement and pulls away from me. I want to cry out or hiss at him but when I see that he is stripping himself from the rest of his clothing, I snap my mouth shut like a guppy. I work my way out of mine as well and lay there watching him.

He cautiously and carefully pads to his night stand and retrieves a packet that shines against the dimly lit lamp.

"Nathaniel James Haynes, you closet harlot," I taunt him and pull him down for me to straddle him again. He feels udderly divine with no clothing between us. Nate is momentarily loss for words as his gaze flickers to our hips in the dim lighting which are centimeters from being connected. I tighten my thighs around him.

He swallows harshly. "Christopher got them for me."

"And who did your brother think you would be rolling around with, huh?" I lean up and playfully bite his shoulder. Nate absentmindedly rolls his hips against mine. I suddenly don't care about any of this information and want to jump off the bed and retrieve the shiny package and decrease the intense pressure between my legs from Nate's hips underneath mine.

"You." He shakes his head with a short laugh and misses my lips but kisses just beside my nose instead. "He gave me a handful about twenty minutes before you made your grand entrance."

"You're kidding," I say in horror. Nate simply grins down at me. He looks different, his face is flushed in a glowing type of way and his hair is wild, sticking up this way and he looks free. He looks like a man in love.

Cosmic. That is the word I would use to describe it. Gravity could yank and pull and drop meteors in the Grand Canyon and the echo of the fall would be muted by my heart in my ears. But not even gravity could keep my feet on the ground when it came to Nathaniel Haynes. My head was too far in the clouds to ever dream of wanting to come back down to Earth.