《For Your Eyes Only》22
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The door to Linc's dings as I walk in and find a booth. Levi gives me a strange look as he sees me sitting alone, a cup of coffee in hand, and a frown on my face. I wave at him a tad shy but he remains stationed behind the cook's counter.
The door dings again and I don't have to look over my shoulder to see who it is. I can smell her perfume before she rounds the booth and takes a seat in front of me.
"Hey," I say as a greeting because I still don't know where me and my best friend stand after the series of superficial events.
"Surprised to hear from you," Alyssa interjects, her face pinched and hair hanging down her back freely.
I try my hardest to keep this civil. I would never get anything out of her if I'm not. So instead, I take another sip of my coffee. "Do you want something to drink?" I motion for another coffee to Tiffany, Levi's fiance's niece who hated her job as much as Levi hated her. She is lazy and pops her bubble gum like a firecracker, constantly making me jump whenever she is around.
Tiffany blatantly ignores me and turns in the other direction to hide in the backroom.
Alyssa ignores me as well. "What is this about, Kelly? Though I must say, it is nice to see you after so long."
"It's only been a few weeks, Lyss. Don't be so dramatic."
"A few weeks is a long time for us." She ends up turning around and waving down another waitress for a coffee. "We usually don't go a day without talking. Not since the eighth grade when I got mad at you for kissing Ben Daul when you knew I wanted to kiss him first. Still not cool by the way."
"Alyssa," I rack my hand over my face, "I've apologized for that about one hundred times. It's not my fault the bottle landed on me."
Alyssa flicks her hair off her bare shoulders and remains looking down at the table. She has yet to look me in the eye. "Whatever."
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I know she is mad because I have been neglecting our friendship lately but doesn't she know that I am upset with her about the way she is treating the Nate situation? She said some hateful things.
"Look, Alyssa." I may as well just spit it out. "What is Danny's agenda with Nathaniel?"
My friend's dark brown eyes finally snap up to mine. They narrow and her lips pull up which annoys me more than it should. "Not everyone is as obsessed with the kid as you are, Kel."
"Did you know about Danny jumping Nate in the men's bathroom at the library a few weeks ago?" I swear if she did, well, I don't know what I would do or say.
Alyssa shrugs and mouths a thank you as her cup is filled with the dark beverage. "I've heard about it. Not from Danny exclusively but there was talk about it. Dick move to kick a blind kid when he's down. Doesn't surprise me though. Danny is a dick."
This catches me off guard because usually Alyssa praises the ground Daniel Greyson walks on. She was the one who is always pushing me to make things better with him. But I always knew that Alyssa was afraid that if I downgraded, then she would too.
"Is Nathaniel okay?" She adds, her facial expression worried.
I am not sure if she is being sincere and for some odd reason I don't want to talk about Nate with her or anyone else for that matter.
I sigh and slump slightly in the booth.
Alyssa watches me, her lips pursed and facial expression confused. "So this show you're putting on, it's real?"
I look up at her and cock my head. "What show?"
Alyssa shifts and looks around her nervously before she speaks. "You being nice to the Haynes kid isn't a moral coverup for feeling guilty about what happened, is it? Because if it is, you're being ridiculous, Kelly. It wasn't our fault."
My body seems to freeze in it's guarded stance. "Wasn't our fault?" My eyes scan the room to make sure no one is listening. "We put a dynamit in an amature rocket that exploded in someone's face, Alyssa. If that isn't our fault than who's is it?"
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"We just watched, Kelly. We never actually touched anything. If this was a crime scene, our hands would be clean. The boys are the ones at fault."
"And we went along with it." The words are hard for me to grit out. She couldn't be serious? "We are just as at fault as them."
Alyssa is growing aggravated. She knows I am right but knowing her, she has talked herself into believe this idiotic assumption. I know her well enough to know that she is just as shaken up about that night as me. She is not a bad person, no matter how aggressive she comes off. It's easier to point fingers and not take the blame.
She takes a shaky sip of her coffee and I do the same, letting the silence sink in. Not many people claim seats in the diner considering the time of day but that doesn't stop the feeling of overwhelmness.
"And to answer your question, no," I say now having trouble looking at her, "my morals have nothing to do with my liking Nathaniel Haynes." I play with my fingers in front of me. "I think I'm falling in love with him."
Alyssa spits her coffee back into her cup. "You're what?"
Now that the words are out in the open, I feel the aftermath of them making my hands shake.
It's a strange feeling. I thought I loved Danny and I know there are different ways you can love someone but I now realize I didn't love him at all. With Danny, it was an emotion that blossomed out of popularity. Things just made sense. He was him and I was me and that was enough for things to make sense.
He was my first real relationship but that was really all it was. Danny was sweet to begin with but we both grew apart when finding ourselves as we grew older.
The feelings I have for Nate consume my whole mind and body. It's an infatuation that makes it hard to breath. But things weren't necessarily difficult. The feelings came easily. Nate is easy to love. He himself was just complicating.
I want to protect Nate in more ways than one. I would do anything for him. That is certain.
"I know. It's strange to say it outloud but I do. He's... something."
"Well, then," she leans back against the puffy, red, booth and blows her hair out of her eyes. "That makes things more... eventful."
I laugh, not able to help myself. Alyssa grins at me, a twitch of her face that says she trying not to but can't help it.
"So is it true?" She says leaning towards me. When I give her a look that makes her rolls her eyes at my naiveness. "Are nerds usually freaks in the sheets?"
"Alyssa!" I giggle and hide my face with a napkin.
"What? It's an important question." She wiggles her eyebrows and I throw my napkin at her. "You two are all the school is talking about. I think you have become more popular if that is even possible.
I shake my head and don't answer her. I couldn't care less about my status.
With another sigh, I focus on the important issue. "So you really know nothing about it?"
Alyssa shakes her head. "Cross my heart."
"Good," I say with an evil grin. "Because if I find out you're lying to me, you'll be hoping to die."
"Look who is being dramatic now." Alyssa throws the napkin back at me and I let it hit me.
"Are we good?" I ask. I watch my raven haired friend as her face softens.
"We never weren't, Kell Bell. Even Jay-Z and Beyonce have rough patches."
Though I didn't get the information I was hoping to get out of this meeting, it was nice to know that I still have a friend in Alyssa.
Whether she is being honest or not, which my conscience is telling me she is, the truth has a way of coming out.
It always does.
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