It's been seven days since Mom died.

Four days since the funeral.

And I should be leaving in three weeks.

I lay awake at night thinking about all of this. About the time that has passed so slowly but also at lightning speed. About the things Mom will miss and the week that has already passed without her.

I think about Laney and Peyton never figuring out their relationship and it sort of hurts me. I want Peyton to have a mom. To have someone to share her secrets and fears with.

I want to stay and be that person for her but I know that is just a silly dream that I think about in the darkness as I lay wrapped up in Finn's arms.

A crash startles both Finn and I. Finn wakes up with a jolt. It takes a second for my eyes to readjust to the darkness, another loud noise comes from outside the door and has Peyton screaming from her bedroom.

Finn and I look at each other and both jump out of bed. He opens the door to his room slowly, unsure of what could be outside, but we should have known all along that it's just Maddy.

Maddy is a tumbling, giggling mess of a drunk as she topples over the couch and onto the floor, "hey guys," she slurs.

The bathroom door opens to reveal Connor, Maddy's on and off again thing. I don't even know what to call him. He is smiling at me and then looks at Maddy who is still on the floor laughing to herself.

"Get the hell up, Maddy," Finn says his voice a harsh whisper. He points towards Connor, fire burning in his blue eyes, "and you get the hell out."

"Fuck off, Finn. He can be here just like Westlyn can be here." She says my name like she doesn't know who I am. Like I'm some random girl Finn brought home. Maddy doesn't even make eye contact with me. I guess that could be the alcohol but it still doesn't feel great.

"Maddy," Finn pleads with her and Connor looks on dumbly. He looks at each of us then pulls Maddy to his chest and kisses her head. He is toying with Finn, he is trying to start something here.

"Okay, Finn just relax," I say grabbing his hand and attempting to control the anger I can see pulsing through his body.

"Why don't you guys go downstairs?" I ask Maddy. I'm trying to reason with her. But it seems like she is enjoying the show just as much as Connor is.

She smiles at me and then sort of laughs. It's this cross between a giggle and full out hysterics, "Westlyn isn't it funny how Finn's been lying to you this whole time about how our parents are dead when your parent actually died?"

My heart seems to slow down and speed up at the same time. That feeling when you can feel every single beat. Where you can almost feel the blood pumping throughout your body, the warmth mixing with the coolness as I wait for her words to sink in.

She is waiting for her words to sink in too, "You are so forgiving, West, I don't know if I could be that forgiving if I'd been lied to like that."

Peyton cries again from the other room. Finn looks from my wide eyes to the closed door of her bedroom and walks towards P. The way he always has to go. And my chest hurts and my brain hurts and I want to rip Maddy's blonde hair out of her head and throw her down the staircase.

But I don't.

I stand in the same spot and I watch Maddy watch me.

We are at a stand-off.

"Why, Maddy?" I somehow squeak out. My voice is a pathetic excuse for someone that is supposed to be an adult, for someone that is supposed to be figuring out her life.

"I didn't do anything."

"I hope you figure yourself out Maddy. I love you, but I can't do this anymore," I say willing the tears not to fall.

"Do what?" She challenges. She walks right over to me. The smell of alcohol penetrates my nose.

"You. I'm done watching you self-destruct and not care about who you destroy in your wake. I watched my mom choose to die and I don't want to watch that for you too. And I can't watch you destroy Finn."

"I'm not destroying him or anyone." She takes a step away from me.

"You destroyed this relationship for him," I say looking at him. He is standing in the doorway of Peyton's room.

"Westlyn, we have to talk. Before you end this we have to talk." He looks sad and tired as he runs his fingers through his hair and watches Maddy and Connor finally disappear into her room.

I follow Finn back into his bedroom because he has been so good and so kind and I want an explanation for everything. No more lies.

"Tell me the truth," I say my voice cracking.

He nods and swallows. He closes his eyes tightly then looks at me again.

"I was always going to tell you but we had to wait until Maddy turn eighteen."

I look at him because I refuse to respond until his story is complete.

"Okay, so Maddy and I lived with our aunt and uncle until I was ten and she was six but they were so screwed up, West. The drugs and partying. They would have friends over constantly and the music would be so loud. And the sad thing was they were the better option than our parents. Our dad was in and out of jail for dealing and our mom was an addict. Maddy could never sleep so she'd stay with me and we'd hide until it finally stopped.

"Eventually the neighbor complaints added up and CPS finally came in and took us away. Maddy cried so much. She was so worried about us being split up because we had no other family that we knew about. I was worried about that too.

"Our Dad's parents ended up picking us up from CPS and bringing us to live with them. It wasn't any better there, it was actually worse. We were completely ignored with our aunt and uncle but our grandparents were intense."

Finn looks lost in his story. His eyes have a far away look to them like he isn't sure where he is, like maybe he is back with his parents or grandparents. I grab his hand.

"West, it just wasn't good. Maddy was a mess. She was scared all the time. Scared of school, of other adults, and kids. I could barely get her out of the house. When I turned eighteen I got us out.

"I should have known by then that Maddy was sort of a lost cause. She was already drinking by fourteen but I figured once I got us out it would be better, it had to be better. I could have tried to legally become her guardian but my grandparents liked the power they had over us so I knew we just had to leave.

"We got out right at the hight of Laney and I's relationship so she knew everything. She knew about Maddy being underage and living with me, which I still am not sure if it's a big deal. But I guess if any judge got wind of the whole drinking thing that would cause major problems.

"I just wanted to keep us safe," he says.

"You've done the best you can," I say.

He shakes his head, "I didn't though. Laney got pregnant and I chose Peyton. Maddy was a disaster, she is still a disaster and I chose Peyton."

"You had to choose Peyton. She's your daughter. It's time for Maddy to figure out her own life. You've done all you could."

Finn looks angry at me but then he softens, "I know but it's not that easy just to give up on something you've been fighting for your whole life, you know?"

I nod even though I don't know. The only thing I've had that is worth anything is this thing I'm still trying to figure out with Finn.

"Our mom was obviously an addict, our dad might have been too, and Grandpa definitely was, it's this gene that runs deep and I know Maddy has it. She has been the type of kid to get addicted to everything. From when she was a kid with a certain kind of toy to alcohol. There is no end."

I take his face in my hands, "hey, there will be an end when she's ready for it. When she understands that she needs to change." A tear slides down his cheek and I wipe it away.

"I didn't want to lie or hide anything from you."

"I know."

"I just can't risk Maddy leaving or doing something unbelievably stupid because I don't know what kind of trouble we can get in to."

"It's fine. That's enough for now," I say.

"Will you stay?"

I shake my head, "I just need a little space for tonight."

I grab my coat and shoes and head out to my car. I don't know why I'm leaving but I know I can't stay with him for right now. I need time to process.

When I get home Dad is still awake and sitting on the couch in the living room. He has a mostly full bottle of beer in his hand and he smiles sadly when he sees me.

"What's the matter, Westie?" He asks patting the cushion next to him.

"Nothing. What're you watching?" I ask. He turns up the volume to reruns of some old sitcom we used to watch when I was little. I used to love laughing when he laughed like I understood the jokes they were making.

And I hold back tears for the life that Finn and Maddy never had.

"You know what the only thing missing is?" Dad asks.

"What?"

"Mom telling me to shut this crap off because your brain cells are popping at a rapid rate."

I laugh as tears run down my cheeks and Dad wipes away his own tears.

"We're all going to okay, Westie. Things always work out like they're supposed to."