I hear a soft knocking on the front door in the middle of the night a day after Westlyn ran out. I rub my eyes and pray that it isn't Connor or worse that it isn't Maddy and I didn't know she left again.

Instead I find Westlyn standing in a giant sweatshirt and shorts, her curls a wild mess around her face, and fresh tears covering her cheeks. I know what happened right then.

"I'm so sorry, West," I say pulling her inside and wrapping her in my arms. She sobs quietly into my shoulder, her tears quickly soaking my t-shirt.

"I didn't think it would hurt this bad," she says as her tears begin to slow down.

"Why would you think that?" I say running my fingers through her tangle of hair and then down her back. She looks up at me her, her green eyes are filled with so much sadness I can barely look into them. This is not the Westlyn I'm used to.

"We were prepared for her to die. We knew it was coming," she sits down on the couch and pulls her knees to her chest. I sit down next to her, she wraps herself around me as close as she can. I continue to run my hand up and down her arms and back, trying to soothe her but I'm unsure how.

"Just because you knew it was coming doesn't make it easier, West. You just weren't shocked. But that doesn't mean it isn't going to hurt like hell."

Westlyn nods. She stares off like she is barely present. Like her mind is somewhere else as she sits here with me. I allow her the time to think so we continue to sit in silence.

"I think I need you at the funeral. Will you come, please?" She asks after a while.

"Of course."

Days later I stand towards the back of the church during the funeral and watch the back of Westlyn's head throughout the whole hour. She looks so strong sitting up there with Nate's arm wrapped around her shoulders. At the burial site I watch her break down as she throws a flower on her mother's casket as it lowers to the ground.

She walks over to me, rests her head on my shoulder and I hug her tightly, kissing the top of her head.

"I just need to get out of here," she says wiping the last tears that are falling from her eyes. The sky is such a bright blue that it seems almost unfair that our day is being spent under a fog of sadness. The cool breeze blows West's curls onto her wet cheeks, I push it away.

I shake my head, "you have to go back with your family."

"No. I want to go somewhere, Finn. Away from all of this and my dad and Nate and my whole family."

I can't say no to her. She looks so broken standing with her shoulders slumped forward and her hand holding mine so tightly like if she let go she might fly away.

"Where to?" I ask.

"Just to your house."

I nod and we head towards my car. She glances back towards her mother and lets fresh tears fall. She takes a deep breath, trying to control her emotions. I want to tell her that she doesn't have to hide anything from me, that she can be sad in front of me, but I can't seem to find the words to say.

When we get back to the house Maddy and Peyton look up from their lunch and P lets out an excited squeal as she reaches towards me. I kiss her on the cheek then take out two glasses and fill them up with water for West and I.

"Sorry about your mom, West." Maddy says hugging her.

"Thanks," West says her voice thick with every feeling she is trying to hold back.

Maddy leaves shortly after their exchange and we put Peyton down for a nap. Westlyn looks at me and says, "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay."

"Did you and Laney figure out what you're going to do about Peyton?" She asks scooting closer to me on the couch, her hand resting on my thigh.

"No. I called that lawyer and she basically said that I have a solid case but it could go either way if Laney brings up all of my family's past issues."

She nods, lifts her head up to give me a sad smile, "we'll figure it out."

I like that she said 'we' but I don't want her thinking about us as a unit because I do want her to go. I want her to leave in a month and figure out who she is and everything else she wants in life. I can't be the thing holding her back. Just like I couldn't be the thing holding Laney back.

But I know today is not the day to bring up anything regarding her leaving.

"Thank you, Finn," she says kissing me softly and quickly.

"For?"

"Allowing me in,"

I wish I could truly tell her how far I've kept her out but again I know that today is not the day. I promise myself and her silently that I will tell her everything.

Soon.