Peyton screams at 2:17am on Thursday morning. I rush out of my room and into hers just before another wail sounds from her tiny mouth.

"What's wrong, P?" I ask scooping her up into my arms. She clutches me tightly around the neck and places her head on my shoulder, breathing heavily. She hiccups as the tears continue to leak from her eyes and onto my T-shirt.

"She okay?" Maddy asks from the doorway.

"You heard her?" I ask.

"I just got in," she gives me a guilty smile, "Pey kind of ruined the whole sneaking in."

Maddy knows that there are no real rules here in regards to a curfew, because who am I to give my sister a curfew when she is less than three years younger than me.

At least she seems sober.

"I mean it's the whole end of high school scene. Parties every night, crazy teenage antics, we have to celebrate before we all decide we hate each other and never want to see each other again, until of course we come back for breaks and shit." She shrugs and looks around the room, her eyes darting back and forth.

"You high?" I ask.

"No," She answers without eye contact.

"Who drove you home?"

"You're not my mother," She answers, turns on her heel and walks out of the room.

Peyton has calmed down by now. She is still resting her head on my shoulder but her tears have vanished. I attempt to put her back in her crib but that only unleashes another sob.

I sigh while walking with Peyton towards my bedroom at this point I'd rather get a few more hours of sleep with Peyton in my bed than listen to her cry for no apparent reason.

She does this once in a while, nonstop crying in the middle of the night and I can't figure out what's wrong and the only thing that will calm her is being near me.

***

"You're going," I say putting a cup of milk and a cup of water into a lunchbox along with some snacks for Peyton. I grab a few toys and her favorite stuffed duck that Maddy got her for her first birthday.

"So freaking stupid, Finn," Maddy mutters under her breath. "Graduation ceremonies are for families."

"Then what the hell are we?" I ask with my arms spread wide.

"A joke."

It stings.

Maddy's blue eyes stare into my own, challenging me. She wants me to back down to tell her that she's right, that we aren't a real family, that these things don't matter.

But they do.

They matter more to us than to a normal family.

Any accomplishment is huge.

Maddy graduating high school is a success for her and for me and for Peyton. It shows that we somehow figured out a way to make it.

Me getting into college was a success for everyone and we celebrated that too with ice cream for dinner one night and a movie marathon back when Peyton was still waking me up three times a night.

"I'm trying here," I say. I try not to sound as defeated as I feel.

"Come on, I didn't mean it like that. I just don't think we need to go. Lets just hang here."

Maddy wins. Her smile is huge when she sees me unpacking the bag that I just packed for Peyton. "Should we order Chinese?" She asks like it's a peace offering, like she didn't just throw 4 years of work for her and me down the drain.

But I nod because just like she said last night, I am not her parent. I'm her brother and why the hell should I care about sitting through a ceremony with a 1 year old in 100 degree heat.

❤️

😉